Friday, January 29, 2010

4 years

Today at Target the cashier notices Kade making Kamryn laugh and then asked how far apart they are. I told her 4 years and her reply was "Oh" using a tone like she was surprised. The way I took it was that she thought I waited too long and had them too far apart. If only she knew. If only she knew that there was a sweet little Angel between them. It wasn't the time or the place. When it is appropriate I tell people as much as possible about my precious little boy. One night at work I felt comfortable talking to my patient. She was older and friendly. She was asking about my kids and I told her about all of them. She too had a stillborn little boy only she had to carry him for weeks after he had passed. The doctors told her that her body would naturally go in to labor.

We pass people on the street everyday, we don't know there situation and it is amazing when people open their shell and tell us about their experience and how much we can actually relate to a strangers trial. I would have never guessed that my patient had experienced something similar, although her experience was much different because they handled it so differently 30 years ago, but the heartache is still the same.

Sometimes I wish people just knew about Kooper, but then maybe no one would want to talk to me. Or they mighte not want to bring up how many children I have, or ask questions that might bring up Kooper because it makes them feel uncomfortable.



Marissa said...

Its true - we don't know what others have been through and its very easy to get stuck in the "why me". Sometimes we have to do what feels right in our heart - regardless of what other people think. I can't get myself to talk about Daniel - not the way I would like - but I'm trying to do things in my life that give "hints" to others that he is always in my heart. What an awful feeling to love your child so much but somehow feel like that is not okay in some way. I hate feeling this way.

I've also had the "How far apart?" question and sometimes I hear - "Four years - oh how perfect!" If only they knew how "unperfect" it really was. :(

Jenny from the Blog said...

I run into this all the time with my girls. My oldest is adopted (she's my brother's daughter) and when people ask them what grade they are in, they both reply "3rd." Then they look at me and ask how far apart are they and when I tell them 10 months, I almost always get this look like 'you didn't wait at all did you?'

You are absolutely right about not knowing what other peoples' situations are...

amyraye said...

i know. and yet we can't blame others for not wanting ot talk or know what to say or what questions to ask because we were the same way before this happened to us.