Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!!!

Our Hallween was done by 8pm! Kade got a bucket full of candy and I got a few picturs of Kade and Kamryn in their costumes. We walked up and down a couple streets and Kamryn fell asleep so I went back home to pass out some candy. We didn't get to the pumkin carving like I thought we would. Maybe we will do some pumkin carving a little late this year, maybe tomorrow? Besides what else am I going to do with 3 pumpkins???

My favorite of those two!

Awwww.....what a nice big brother!

Yesterday Kade, Kamryn and I went to Mesa to see Jenna, Sumner, and SarahJane. We dressed up the girls in their witch costumes and did a little photo shoot. SarahJane was not into getting her picture taken.
I think this one is funny, it looks like Kamryn is laughing at SJ running away!
And there she goes again!

Now it looks like Kamryn is making silly faces behind her back!

Out little witches!

I hope everyone had a happy and safe Halloween!


Thursday, October 29, 2009

It's been a while since I updated my blog.....

On Tuesday we went to see Kooper and put some new Sunflowers in his vase and I was so very happy when I got there and saw that the vase hadn't been ran over and that his little purple guy with his sign saying, "I'm a Big Brother" was still there! I think that it was the first time I left the cemetery and been at peace. I usually end up crying the whole way home sad because I don't have my little monkey with us and mad at whoever messed up his vase or stole a decoration we had left there. Of course I was sad that he wasn't here but I think I am becoming more at peace with it everyday. I miss him like crazy though!

I think it brought on a dream about him. I hardly ever have dreams about him. I don't really remember the dream, but I remember our family being together picking Kooper running up to me and scooping him up and hugging him in my arms...a little 15 month old boy. The only strange thing was that he had blonde hair! It was as if he had never left us. Suddenly I woke up and he was gone, only I was looking for him. For a few seconds I actually believed he was here. I searched in the bed frantic and within seconds realized that it was only my dream.

It doesn't seem strange to me that I woke up thinking he was here, because many times after I had him I would wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if it was all a dream, or nightmare. And I would put my hand on my stomach and realize that he is not here. That hasn't happened in a while.

What I would give to hold him in my arms again! My Kooper! Tomorrow we are carving pumpkins. I bought 3 pumpkins, one for each of my kids.

Some other Halloween fun that we have been up to is today Kade and I made some yummy dirt dessert with gummy worms and all! It was YUMMY!

It is weird to think back to last year. Thinking of the fall and going through our first holidays without Kooper. I think it will be a little easier this year, but who knows I guess we will just have to wait and see.

I am excited for the fall to be here. The cool weather, and all the fun Holidays! I am already planning for Thanksgiving, and Halloween isn't over yet! For any of you that know me well, you know I am not a fan of Thanksgiving food (mashed potatoes, stuffing, yams...just to name a few) So this year if we end up having it at our house, we will be having a "Perry" Thanksgiving dinner with non-traditional Thanksgiving food. I am kind of excited for it!


Thursday, October 22, 2009

4 months and 4 1/2 year check ups

Yesterday was a dreadful day, not only did I have to take both Kade and Kamryn to the doctor for check-ups I had to hold them both down while they each got 4 shots! Kamryn is a growing girl and is in the 95% for her height and weight!

Kade is in the 75% for his height and weight. He was not too happy to find out that he would have to get shots though. He refused to talk to the doctor. I think he is scared of people in scrubs! Finally when she asked him if he had a bike he opened up and started talking until she wanted to check his male parts! I honestly don't remember them doing that since he was a baby. But then again this is a different doctor. I feel like he is going to be scarred for life after having to hold him down not only for that but then again so they could poke his legs 4 times! It was funny because he refused to take his bandaids off until this morning when I reassured him that Kamryn's were off. He still walks funny when he first stands up from sitting down. I am sure they are tender. Surprisingly I do remember getting those "kindergarten shots" as a little girl too. I remember I stayed the night at my Grandma Alder's house that night and the next day when I tried walking down her stairs my legs hurt a little bit.

Here is Kade showing off his bandaids.

Today Kamryn had a low-grade fever but all is well now except for the fact that she must have a tooth trying to break through her lower gums...I know it probably won't actually start to try and actually breath through the top gums or have a bump for a while. But that girl screams and screams until you give her something to chew on and if you don't she grabs a blanket near her or her first and starts chewing on that. She is also slobbering soo much! I thought I still had a while before I had to worry about teething...I guess not, but I am sure it will be a long while before I find any relief.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Kamryn's Echocardiogram

I was so relieved to find out that Kamryn's little heart it perfectly fine and that the Murmur is indeed what the cardiologist thought, Peripheral Pulmonary Stenosis, which she will grow out of. I got a little nervous because they did the echocardiogram and thankfully she slept through practically the whole thing! She woke up at the end and then we awaited the results. The cardiologist came back in and asked if she could get a better look at one more area of the heart before she talked to us and that had me worried, but I didn't show it! So they took her back in and she wasn't so pleasant this time around. So we fixed her a bottle to keep her calm. After the ultrasound tech was done the doctor told us the best news ever! So Ryan and I are sooo relieved and happy that we don't have to worry about our little princess.

On a very funny note when the U/S tech was done with the Ultrasound she went to scoot her rolling chair across the floor and it flipped out from under her. It probably wouldn't' have been so funny if she got hurt but she was fine. I feel much better when others embarrass themselves because I feel like I do that way too often!

I am so GRATEFUL for the good news! Thanks for all those who had us in their prayers, we really do appreciate it! I don't know if I could have handled it if Kamryn needed surgery or something more serious. The thought of losing another child is my worst fear, probably anybodies worst fear. But for someone who has lost a child it makes you realize how precious your kids are and what a miracle it really is to have them here, happy and healthy!


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Kamryn's 4 Months Old!

Today Kamryn is 4 months old. Her personality it starting to come out and she loves to laugh! She loves to have her diaper changed and enjoys playing on her play mat, batting at her toys and jumping in the jumperoo. Although she doesn't jump a ton yet, she loves standing in it and looking around. Yesterday I fed her some sweet potatoes. Her first food besides rice cereal, which I have given her a couple times. I couldn't shovel it in fast enough. I guess she is use to the continuous bottle and wasn't too happy when I stopped in between bites!

Eating sweet potatoes!


Thursday, October 15, 2009

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is hard to believe that just over 14 months ago I was a happy and healthy pregnant mother so excited and waiting for my little Kooper to come out and play! The thought never came across my mind that at 38 1/2weeks I could actually lose my son. I remember when I reached 30 weeks my friend Jenna and I were so relieved because at that point if they were to come early we knew there chances of survival were pretty good. And then after reaching 36 weeks we knew or thought we knew that everything would be fine. All week new was that in four weeks or less we would both have healthy babies in our arms.

Kooper Leland Perry was born on July 11, 2008. He died the night before due to a true knot in his umbilical cord. I think that the news that he was gone was the most shocking news I have ever received and ever hope to receive. He was so perfect, too perfect for this world. He is doing greater things now, serving in heaven and making his Mama proud! I am proud to be his mother, to be chosen to carry his pure little spirit! He is safe now and I look forward to raising him one day.

I love you Kooper!

Please in remembrance of my Kooper or for anyone that has experienced a loss, light a candle at 7:00 pm in remembrance of our Angels!


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Why does being a parent have to be so stressful?

Today has been a long long day. About an hour of sleep since yesterday at 3pm, yes I will be going to bed early tonight!
We took Kamryn to the cardiologist today due to a heart murmur her doctor was concerned about. After an EKG and the cardiologist listening to her heart they would like her to come back to confirm her diagnosis and have an echocardiogram. So far they are thinking that she has Pulmonary Stenosis. She thinks if she does have this heart defect that she will grow out of it and that it is mild. They are thinking this because she doesn't really have the major symptoms and she is definitely thriving! She weighed a whopping 15lbs 13oz and is just under 25" long! So I hope that the doctor is correct in her observation so far. She was so funny and loved being in just her diaper on the exam table while they took her blood pressure and did the EKG.

On a funny note...
Today at Target I showed Kamryn one of those dolls that laughs, cries and giggles. She thought it was funny and giggled right along with the doll. I can't wait to start buying dolls for my little princess!


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Kamryn's First Laugh!

For the longest time I have been trying to make a noise or do something to make Kamryn laugh. She has laughed in her sleep plenty of times but it was very quiet and cute. Well today on our way to the store I got out of the car to go get her and Kade out of the back seat. Kade would laugh at her and then she would laugh right back. I love it! I can't wait for them to start interacting more.


Saturday, October 3, 2009

Kooper's Hope Collage

I came across the Abiding Hope Collage on a few other Angel Mommy's blogs. I wanted one for Kooper. I always wish I had a new picture to scrapbook or some sort of new memory of him. The founder of Abiding Hope started doing this in memory of her first born that only lived for 13 days. She got back to me so quick and I was surprised to see it already done. Thank You!


Friday, October 2, 2009

I Will Carry You

I hadn't realized that this song had come out yet until I saw it on another Angel Mommy's blog post. This song was written by an an Angel Mommy whose husband is part of a christian singing group called Selah. There is a version for a boy that I haven't been able to find. It is such a beautiful song and it is what every mother to an angel dreams she could have done with her child but she will continue to carry that child in her heart. I just wanted to share. I had a hard time getting this song on here so instead of getting frustrated just click on the song title below and it will take you to the song.

I Will Carry You