On Tuesday we went to see Kooper and put some new Sunflowers in his vase and I was so very happy when I got there and saw that the vase hadn't been ran over and that his little purple guy with his sign saying, "I'm a Big Brother" was still there! I think that it was the first time I left the cemetery and been at peace. I usually end up crying the whole way home sad because I don't have my little monkey with us and mad at whoever messed up his vase or stole a decoration we had left there. Of course I was sad that he wasn't here but I think I am becoming more at peace with it everyday. I miss him like crazy though!
I think it brought on a dream about him. I hardly ever have dreams about him. I don't really remember the dream, but I remember our family being together picking Kooper running up to me and scooping him up and hugging him in my arms...a little 15 month old boy. The only strange thing was that he had blonde hair! It was as if he had never left us. Suddenly I woke up and he was gone, only I was looking for him. For a few seconds I actually believed he was here. I searched in the bed frantic and within seconds realized that it was only my dream.
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