Thursday, October 14, 2010

Light a Candle

Now that we are in the new house I don't really miss our old one. I miss that everything was in it's spot and pictures were hung on the wall and Kamryn's room was decorated just the way I liked and wanted it. Right now I don't have the money to put up the bead board again...eventually maybe we will do it again. I can't decide where to put any pictures so I have nothing on my walls and the walls aren't even the colors I want them to be, I actually don't even know what color I want them to be.  I have had some request for pictures but honestly no room is ready for pictures. I really need to work on that. What I miss more than anything right now are the memories. Last night I was reading all the memories I had written about Kooper. Every time I walked into our master bedroom and laid on the bed I could remember laying there waiting for him to start kicking like it was yesterday. Laying on my left side poking and prodding and then changing sides poking and prodding. I remember doing it with Kamryn and Keegan too. More often with them because I was sooo paranoid when they weren't being super active and kicking. I woke them right up!

I think once we finally sale the house I will be sad. I might even cry. I think because I still have a key and because I can go there anytime I want that it hasn't set in that I am saying goodbye to that house that holds so many memories. Especially those memories of being pregnant with Kooper, decorating his room and just spending time in his room after he passed away. It was my thinking place.

Please ligth a candle tomorrow for Kooper and for all those Angel babies!


1 comment:

amyraye said...

i'm a bit behind on my blog-reading.
i didn't realize you just moved from "kooper's house". that must be really hard. i love that he's been on your mind a lot lately. you give me so much hope that my calvin will never be me or anyone.
thanks, kami.