For Kooper

I have expressed my feelings about this to some of my closest friends. My idea, how I will use my time when my kids get older, my mission for Kooper. I want to get a bill passed that will allow parents of a stillborn child to be able to claim them. Or to "count' them. To be able to count them on their taxes for that physical year and also have their child be counted as a person and get life insurance for their sweet baby. See to be able to do these things now your baby has to take 1 breath. That's all. Many people were like me and didn't realize or even fathom the fact that to some especially the state, the insurance companies and the IRS, your child that you carried for 9 months and gave birth to doesn't count even though hours before he appeared to be perfectly normal and healthy inside his Mommy.

No, it's not about the money, it is a little bit but you will see why as I explain below. It's not fair to those families out there that go full term or close enough to have a viable baby and then to have an unexpected event happen and lose their child. They still have to pay for a funeral service, a plot, flowers, a headstone. It is no different than any other child or baby. They still prepared just as much as any other family, they still had to pay the exact same medical bills. They are just as much a part of the family, they are a real person.

I didn't express this on my blog last year although it was like Amy said in her post, "a kick in the gut". When you go to do your taxes or you call the insurance company only to find out that your baby doesn't count. You prepared, you gave birth to this child, that doesn't count? It doesn't count for anything? These babies deserve to be "counted". They were a life that was viable outside their mother's womb. They could have survived if they had the chance. They are your child.

Please read Amy's post. It is so true. It touched my heart I am so glad that she is able to have her baby "count". It reminded me of my goal. My goal to fight for those stillborn babies that were alive in their Mother and could have very well lived outside the womb if only we knew they just needed to be out to live. One day I will fight. I will fight my hardest to be heard, to get stillbirth recognized and those sweet angel babies acknowledged by others and the IRS and insurance companies. It was a slap in the face to find out that he didn't count. We were kicked when we were already down. I don't want more parents to experience that. When they are going through unexplainable grief they shouldn't have to worry about how they are going to pay for a casket, a plot, a marker, flowers, and all the other costs. When they go to do their taxes and the question asked if they had a baby this year they shouldn't have to check the answer yes, but then also mark that the baby was stillborn (so he doesn't count).

One day Kooper, hopefully I will have made a difference, I will have changed something. I will have done something in your honor because I believe that you do matter and you do count, so should everyone else.

I hope this all came out right, and came across the way I wanted it. I wish I would have blogged about it last year, when my feelings were so fresh. I wish I could fight now for these babies and their families, but I have my hands full and I don't think I could do as good of a job being 5 months pregnant and little ones at home. I want to be able to put my whole heart and self into it. For Kooper.