I have missed you lately. You were my time to myself. My time to reflect, the time I mostly devoted to Kooper. No matter who I was with, where I was going or when I went my mind always traveled to Kooper. I would think about him and I didn't have anything to interrupt my thoughts. He kept my legs moving when all I wanted to do was stop or walk. I pushed myself harder because of him. I was doing it for him. I wanted to do the 5k for him. And then it all got put on hold. I had to stop. That was the first sign I had that I was pregnant. I tried to go running one morning and the entire time I thought I was going to start puking. I had to walk. I felt so sick and was almost dry heaving. That was the last time I went running. I miss it. It is what I am looking forward to most after I have the baby. It makes me feel so good even though I am not fast by any means and I can't go far. When 5am rolls around and it's still 100 degrees outside I just want to curl back up in bed and stay in my air conditioned house. But it's worth it. It helps me feel better and I think it is good therapy, it helps me sort through my thoughts.
I miss you running. I can't wait to meet up with you again!
2 comments:
i definitely don't feel that way about running. i do not like to run. at all.
but i can very much relate to those feelings on being by myself with my thoughts...drifting to calvin. when i'm blogging. blogging is to me what running is to you. i am excited for you to get it back.
Cute - yes running was my savior - some of my best cries after Daniel came out of no where while I was running. Now when I run I tell myself "this isn't hard - nothing can be harder than losing my child" Running is sooooo very psychological - it puts everything out there - to keep going when your body can't is shear will power. Running taught me that if you just push through things - in the end it will be okay.
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