Saturday, September 25, 2010
Don't be afraid
Some may not know this, but I love to talk about Kooper. I miss him so much and sometimes I feel like I am the only one that misses him and wants to talk about him because he is on my mind a lot. I know that Ryan misses him too and we talk about him often, but I feel like people think its a taboo subject. Maybe they aren't comfortable or don't want to make me uncomfortable but it makes me happy when someone asks me a question about him or brings him up. At first it was really hard when he was brought up, mostly because I didn't want to cry and bawl (I have one of those ugly cry faces). I felt like me crying would make the other person think that they made me sad by bringing him up but in the end it made me happy that someone wanted to talk about him. Sometimes I felt like he was tiptoed around and it made me feel bad. It made me feel like they were pretending it never happened. I always appreciate those who mention him or acknowledge him. I love to share his story and show off his scrapbook and his pictures. It makes it feel like he is more apart of the family even though he isnt' here with us now.
So next time you come to my house if you haven't see my scrapbook or you haven't seen his pictures or his video and you want to tell me. Don't be afraid to ask me a question or wonder if it will offend me. I love to talk about my son and I love to share his story. He is my son, he is my baby, and he is apart of my family. Or if you live too far away and can't come to my house you can e-mail or call me.