How many kids do you have?

I don't share Kooper with everyone. Sometimes I feel horrible when I really don't want to explain to someone when they ask, is this your third? I usually will share, but there are times where I just don't feel comfortable with the person that is asking. Like Wednesday at Kade's swimming lesson. One of the other Mom's started asking me about the spacing between Kamryn and Keegan. And of course told me how hard it is even though she hasn't experienced it. I know I haven't either so what the heck am I talking about? I felt uncomfortable. I didn't feel like sharing with this particular person.

Well I ended up moving Kamryn over to a grassy area so she could play and another mom came over and started talking to me. She had overheard our conversation said, "Don't let people tell you how bad it is to have two so close in age. I have 2 that are 15 months apart and I love it and wouldn't change it for anything." And she does have some experience they are 7 and 8 years old, and are also a boy and a girl. She went on to ask about the spacing between Kade and Kamryn and I told her about Kooper. Come to find out she lost her first baby, he was a boy and he had trisomy. We talked a little about our Angel babies. I hate hearing that someone else has experienced what I have, but in a way it is comforting to know that you aren't the only one. Although circumstances were a little different. She knew that her baby would be born and probably die soon after from the time she was 6 months pregnant.

Kooper has been on my mind alot lately. The other night when I posted and was so exhausted and tired, well I got thinking about Kooper and started looking at pictures of him and ended up staying awake for another hour and a half just thinking about him and thinking of those memories, thinking about how I wished I would have had the volunteer from NILMDTS take more pictures of him with his hat off. I LOVE the hat. It was my favorite part about his "going home" outfit. I was so excited for it. But I only have a couple pictures of his head full of hair that are really nice and edited to everyone. I miss him so much.

Today when I was out and about and as I thought about all the stares or how I had been asked the same questions or the same comments over and over, How close the kids would be? and the comment, You're gonna have your hands full! I thought. I wonder what people would say if Kooper were here. Sitting in the stroller with Kamryn, and Kade in tow, and me looking huge and ready to POP! I wonder what the comments would be. I wonder if I would get even more funny stares. I have become used to the stares. I almost don't even notice it unless I make eye contact with those around me. I can only imagine how a mother of multiples would feel. But it would be awesome to have a great comeback after I told the ages of my kids: 5, 21 months, 10 months and 1 and a half months away from another. I don't know what my response would be to any of the crazy questions or comments but I think I would laugh and lie just to make them feel foolish for asking! Or maybe they would just think I was crazy!?

By the way the little one is doing good. Passed all his test and is head down! Let's hope he stays that way!