Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Time Traveler's Wife

So I was so excited because Ryan and I were able to go out to Dinner and a Movie! It's been so long since I have seen a movie, besides taking Kade to Up! about 4 months ago. We went to Caraba's for dinner (could have been better but we had a really good time) then we went to The Time Traveler's Wife. Personally I really liked the movie. Ryan thought it was okay but wasn't too happy about the ending. It isn't a very happy one. I just finished reading the book about a week ago and couldn't wait to see the movie. The movie is good but the book it way better. They always are.

As I started watching the movie I realized why I liked the book and movie so much. I love it how Henry (the time traveler) says that even though he keeps going back in time and sees events over and over he can never change it. He tries and tries but the ending always comes out the same. Even though I don't believe time travel is possible, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is a path for us. This has helped me deal with the loss of my sweet baby. From the second I found out that Kooper was no longer alive I was so devastated but knew in my heart that there was a reason. God had a plan and this was his plan. I did everything I could and if he was meant to live and be with me and my family on this earth than he would be here now. I would have gone into labor. The knot in the cord would have been caught.

I had an ultrasound 10 days before he died and I think it was a gift from Heavenly Father letting me see my sweet little boy alive one last time. He knew I needed that memory to continue on and be strong in my journey through life.

Every once in a while I dwell on the what ifs? But I can't. There is no what if.
I like the movie and the book because the future is laid out before them and there is no changing it. That is how I see my life. Heavenly Father has a path and a future for me I have to live up to it but I know that events of Kooper were all apart of his plan. I wish they weren't, I wish with all my heart that I could change them and wake up tomorrow to an almost 14 month old baby boy. I wish that he was sharing a room with Kade, and Kade was teaching him the ins and outs of what boys do. I wish I could spy on them and watch Kade boss him around and try and teach him things.

I know there is a plan for me and my family. I am thankful for the Plan of Salvation. It saves me from pain and hurt every day. Without it I wouldn't have the faith that there is a plan and that Kooper is where he is supposed to be and that one day we will all be together again.

1 comment:

Young Family said...

You are so strong! Thanks for sharing your testimony so regularly. I need it.