Breath of Heaven

I have traveled
Many moonless nights
Cold and weary
With a babe inside
And I wonder
What I've done
Holy Father
You have come
Chosen me now
To carry your son

I am waiting
in a silent prayer
I am frightened
by the load I bare
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now

Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your Holiness
For your holy Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer-all I am
For the mercy-of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me

As Christmas rolls around this year this song kept coming into my head. The only lines I kept thinking of were "Breath of Heaven hold me together, be forever near me breath of heaven" I grew up listening to Amy Grant every Christmas. It was my favorite and one of my Mom's favorite too. As those lines ran through my head I couldn't help but think of Kooper. I couldn't help imagining me singing those lines to him. Each day that goes by and I think of him some days I feel like I need help holding myself together and I always want him to be near me.

Surprisingly enough I hadn't even heard this song yet this year. It's on my old ipod and I am way to lazy or tired or busy to switch over all the songs. So this morning I googled it. And as I listened to the words and read the lyrics it touched me in a different way.
The first verse: Okay so I didn't travel moonless nights but I did spend many nights wondering about my baby and then God gave me this pure and perfect spirit to grow his body so that he would have one, it was all he needed. I carried a pure, perfect and valiant little spirit! God chose me.
The second verse: Is the feeling I had after I found out that Kooper was gone. How at first I felt alone. Because I actually was. But soon I knew I wasn't alone but at that moment I was alone in the room and I knew that he was gone. No one had confirmed it yet, but I saw the heart in the ultrasound. I was in shock and didn't want to believe it and I prayed that I was wrong, that I must be dreaming.
And then the rest of the song where she talks about God being with her and helping her through the rest, that's exactly what He did. I turned to my Faith and I turned to my Heavenly Father to help me through hopefully the hardest trial of my life. And I couldn't have made it to where I am now without Him, my faith, or my husband and all my wonderful family and friends. And last of all knowing that he does have a plan for me, helps me be strong!