Much needed haircut for Kade!

Kade got a much needed haircut and during the process we had a little fun and gave him a mohawk....he didn't like it and insisted that we finished cutting his hair! Here is a before picture of him holding his little sister. He is so proud of her.

Kamryn's first "REAL" bath!

Kamryn had her first REAL bath today. Her cord finally fell off and she was able to get in the water! She didn't mind it as long as she was covered by the washcloths!

We miss Grandma already!

Kade is sad that his grandma Keren had to go back to Utah! He had so much fun playing MarioKart, Super heroes, and cars with her. He has the coolest grandma, she even got down on her hands and knees to push around cars!

We were so happy to have her here. Kade said he wants his grandma to come back and play. She was such a help to have around with cleaning, cooking, and taking care of her grandkids. We were lucky that she was here when Kamryn had to have a short stay in the NICU. I knew that Kade was in good hands and was being spoiled rotten!

We wish you could have stayed longer Grandma Keren! We love you! Thanks for EVERYTHING!

Silly Monkey

Having Kamryn here with us is such a blessing. I can tell you that having another baby will never replace one that you have lost. I didn't have many people say to my face that they thought I got pregnant too soon after (I actually only had one person say that to me). Or some people may have thought that but never said it.

No one will ever replace my Kooper. Everyday she reminds me of what I missed or what is missing from our family. I look at her and I see features of her brother Kooper and Kade. When I saw this onesie with the monkey on it I had to get it because Kooper was my little monkey. Every time I saw something with a monkey on it.

Kooper, Kamryn wore this cute monkey onesie for you! I miss you so much and wish you were here! It would be so neat to see the relationship that you and your sister would have.

So glad to be home!

Yesterday Kamryn was finally released from the NICU. She wasn't there too long but it felt like FOREVER. It was hard being away from Kade and I spent the days there wishing that we were hanging out with my Mom who was watching Kade. We are so lucky that she is here and was able to help us take care of Kade.

Yesterday morning her bili count was 10 so they took her off her last bili-light they monitored her for 6 hours and then checked her bili count. It had only gone up .6 which is really good! It was so nice, during the time off the lights she spent almost all of it in our arms! It stunk that we couldn't hold her when she was under the lights because they wanted her to have as much exposure as possible.

Here are a few pictures from our stay.

This is how she looked earlier on Monday before going to the hospital.

Here she is with 2 of the 3 photo-therapy lights on her.

Only 1 photo-therapy light left...(it is a blanket under her back)

Finally with no lights hanging out with Mommy and Daddy!

Kamryn Update!

Kamryn is doing good...and we just hope she continues on this same path. Before we were kicked out for shift change she was alert and looking around. She only has one light on her that she lays on. Her skin looks sooooo much better now. Her eyes still look a little yellow and they are doing another test at 8:00pm. Her last level was taken around noon and was 12. After it was taken they removed a lamp and then shortly after receiving the good results they removed the second lamp. So her level may go up just a little bit but we have to wait and see.

Tonight when we got home he asked, "Where's my sister? I want her to come home!" Kade misses her so much! I feel bad not being her with him but he is lucky to have Grandma Keren here to spoil him!

Thanks to everyone who has said a prayer they are working Kamryn is improving and hopefully it won't be too long before we can bring her home!

Kamryn needs some prayers

Yesterday Kamryn went for her newborn checkup. She weight 7 lbs and 10 oz. The doctor was bit concerned about yellow color so they request that she get a blood test to check her bilirubin levels. Kami and her mom went all over town trying to find a place that was open. Then finally got it checked at 5:30 pm and got a call at 9 pm that her levels were high a 22 and she needed to go to the nicu to get phototherapy and be monitored. When they got there her level was a 21 then by 2 am down to 16 and by morning it was 14.5. We are asking that you pray for Kamryn that she has a speedy recovery and can come home soon.

This was posted by Jenna for Kami since she doesn't have internet service at the hospital. I will update soon.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to my sweet hubby and all the other Dad's out there. Especially mine! I have the best Dad anyone could ask for!

Ryan is an awesome Dad. He and Kade like to do their boy things and enjoy spending time together and he is already super protective of his little princess!

Here he is the day his babies were born!

We love you very much and hope you have a wonderful Father's Day!

Lots of love, Kami, Kade, Kooper and Kamryn! oh yeah and CJ too!

You asked for it....

More pictures of our New Arrival! Grandma Keren and Kamryn

She does a lot of this....

Things are going good. We are so happy to have Kamryn in our home. She is a sweetie but lets us know when she doesn't like something. She has been sleeping alot...and I am not complaining! We are lucky to have my Mom here for a week to help out. Kade loves having his Grandma here! She even plays cars with him...which is something I don't do. And who knows of a Grandma that is willing to get down on her hands and knees to play cars? She's the best! We love her!

Worn out big brother...those are his HULK muscles!


Just after Kamryn's first bath at home.

Kamryn Lyla Perry

Little Miss Chubby Cheeks has arrived and the ultrasounds were correct in the fact that she has lots of hair and chubby cheeks and that she is a girl. Also there was no knot in her cord! YAY. They were incorrect in the estimated weight...

Kamryn arrived Wednesday June 17th, 2009 at 9:34am. She is 21 inches long and weighed 8lbs 1 ounce.

Our scheduled induction for Monday night was delayed and then Labor and Delivery failed to slow down so it was looking more like a Wednesday night induction. Well I was having contractions so we ended up going in Tuesday at 6:00. I had progressed since my Monday morning and was regularly contracting so they kept me. Unfortunately they were so busy that I wasn't moved to a delivery room until 12:30 on Wednesday morning but I was just glad to be there!

So they started pitocin, broke my water and then I got my epidural. I had wonderful nurses. My favorite was Amy. She said not only is she a nurse but a personal birthday party planner. After my epidural my blood pressure dropped so they gave me a medication to increase my heart rate. In turn Kamryn's heart rate increased so the pitocin was shut off for a while and I was put on oxygen. Once we both got back to normal we started with the pitocin again and I was on my way.

She was facing the wrong way "sunny side up" just like Kade and fortunately the doctor was able to turn her as she came down the birth canal. It took a little effort by the doctor to help get her out because her heart rate was dropping a little during the contractions and she wasn't coming out very well....probably those cheeks! We finally got her out and when I heard she was 8 pounds I almost died!

She is such a blessing and we are so lucky to have her.

Proud Big Brother!

Kade has been so excited for her to come home. He kept asking if she was coming home with us. He also said today, "Mommy you have two babies!" and I asked him who my babies were. He replied, "Kamryn and Kooper".
Besides the moment of hearing her cry for the first time what hit me the most is when I sat down next to her in the car as we left the hospital. I was actually bringing my baby home. I know my "other" baby is in good hands and is safe from all the evils of the world. But the feeling of getting to bring your baby home is so wonderful!

Kamryn you are a lucky girl to have such great brothers!

Amnio Update!

I am so excited. I had my amnio this morning and her lungs came back mature. It was a little painful, but no worse than the steroid shots or having your blood drawn...for me anyway. So I am on call for tonight. When a bed becomes available they will call me and I will be on my way to the hospital! They did a NST (non-stress test) before and after the amnio and I was having contractions every 3-4 minutes before and then they spread out to being every 5-6 minutes after the amnio but they were stronger. I can't wait to meet my little princess. Kade is so excited and can't wait to hold her. I will keep you all posted!

June 11, 2009

Sometimes it feels like a dream (or nightmare), that I have buried a child. I am not supposed to bury a child. Words and phrases mean different things to me. I see them in a different way than a Mother who has not experienced a loss like mine.

11 Months. Could it almost be a year since that horrible day? It feels like yesterday.

On July 10Th, 2008 these are the things I remember doing:
-Texting back and forth with Jenna about how fun it will be to watch SaraJane and Kooper interact and play together.
-Went to Walmart with Kade and then took pictures of him in his Shrek underwear and sent them to my Mom.
-I called my Mom and she was getting her hair done by my older sister Bree. We discussed what I would do if my water broke. I think we decided that it was either best to go to the nearest hospital instead of driving 30-45 minutes to the hospital I was supposed to deliver at. The other option was to call the neighbor or call 911! Ryan wasn't an option with his work being 45min to an hour away then having to drive all the way back in to the hospital...didn't make any sense.
-As the day went on a big monsoon storm hit. Ryan stayed at work a little late hoping that the rain would be like a normal Arizona rain...pour for 10 minutes and then the sun comes back out from the clouds, but no it didn't clear up. He came home still drenched from running from the building to his car.
-Then at about 11:00pm I was laying on the couch and thought WOW, Kooper why aren't you doing the normal acrobatics that I am used to? I poked and prodded my belly waiting for a kick back. I showered, ate an otter pop, drank cold water, and layed on each side poking him waiting for his response. When no response came I called L&D to see if they had anymore tricks...they said to come in. Being an optimistic person, thinking that nothing bad could really happen to me. Thinking I am going to go in hear his little heart beating and then he will start his acrobatics because that is how L&D trips go you have symptoms until you get there.

Ryan stayed at home with Kade since it was practically midnight and he was sound asleep. I was certain I would be home within an hour unless they checked me and I was dilated which I was hoping for! Unfortunately that wasn't the case for me.

So needless to say I was hoping today Thursday June 11th, 2009 would be a different day. I was having some anxiety about today. I didn't want any similarities to Thursday July 10th, 2008. The one similarity was that it was the Thursday before my scheduled induction. I thought about going to Walmart that day and didn't. I hoped it wouldn't rain, it didn't. I don't know if my husband was reading my mind, but he left work right on time and was home on time. I am glad that June 11th is over. I feel a weight lifted off of my chest.

I love and miss my baby so much! I think about him everyday. On Sunday I taught Ryan's Sunday School lesson because the boys in his class were at camp. I figured I wouldn't make him teach a room full of girls. The lesson was on Joseph F. Smith and the Redemption of the Dead. It reminded me of our purpose here on the earth. And that all my little boy needed was a body and that he was needed in heaven for other reasons. I try and think that my Kooper is gone on a mission. A long one to me but such a short one when we think of eternity. He is perfect! I look forward to the day that we will be reuinted as a family.

Families are Forever

Not much longer....

I just had to share an ultrasound picture that we got on Tuesday. We are almost done with all these ultrasounds....tomorrow is my last "official" one until Monday. The tech kept commenting on how much hair she has (you can kind of see it in the ultrasound picture above! I am scheduled Monday morning for an amniocentesis to make sure Kamryn's lungs are developed. I am pretty sure they are, considering I have had steroid shots and every BPP she passes her breathing with flying colors. At this last ultrasound as soon as the tech put the doppler showing her chest she was doing her practice breathing like a champ. I am praying and praying that I can go into labor on Friday (or sometime this weekend), before they do the amniocentesis. Since I will be 36 weeks they won't stop me from going into labor. I would rather not have a needle stuck into me, but the doctor can't induce me without knowing that she is ready to come out! So please pray that she will come before they do that test if she is ready. My doctor tells me I CAN wait to be induced and then they wouldn't have to do the amnio, but I just want to get her out before I go NUTS! Even though at every ultrasound they check the cord and the blood flow of the cord I still have anxiety and I want her out as soon as she is ready!

Swimming

Saturday we went to a Pool Birthday party. Kade had a blast in the pool, although he doesn't know how to swim yet. I am sure he got his fear of water from his paranoid Mother! He likes to kick but doesn't like the idea of putting his head in the water. He didn't have this fear of water until last March when we were in California, he was jumping into my Dad's arms and then I told my Dad to let him go all the way in....he did and ever since Kade has trusted no one!

The whole way to the party he was telling me he could swim. He fell asleep in the car and when he woke up as we got there he said, "Mommy, I can't swim!"

I am on the lookout for a good swim teacher so if anyone knows of someone let me know! I have tried and tried to get him in to the community swimming lessons but you have to be the first in line and I seem to always forget that it is sign-up day until it's later in the day and by then all the classes are full. Anyhow Kade had a blast. Here are some pictures!

No words

Today at my ultrasound appointment they were running quite a bit behind for them. They are usually on time and you only wait a few minutes. Today they were 45 minutes behind! I am used to it at my regular OB's office, although I was a little worried I would be late picking Kade up from summer camp so I told the receptionist that when 11:15 rolls around if they haven't seen me I gotta go. I was sitting pretty close to the check-in window. The waiting room is really small and is about the size of a medium size bedroom so there isn't much privacy. I could hear the scheduler in the background calling to confirm appointments for the following day. I heard her say, "Oh, I'm so sorry" at that point I didn't think much of it and didn't really hear any more of the conversation. I hear the phone click and then her low voice in sympathy and embarrassment say to the receptionist. "Oh my gosh, the lady I just called to confirm her appointment lost her baby!"

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. It brought back so many memories of those times when I was asked about my baby and the person had no idea that I had lost him.

The scheduler told the receptionist, "I had no idea what to say, all I could say was I'm sorry."

Really that is all you can say. There are no words. There is nothing really that anyone can do but acknowledge it. The worst thing that she could have done was say something like, "Ok, I will remove you from the schedule." and completely ignore saying anything regarding her loss and ending the call or conversation.

Just wanted to share. It is so strange how once you have been through a trial you notice little things that you may normally not even realize or hear. Little sayings and quotes mean something completely different or bring back memories and emotions that you never thought you could have or never imagined you would have to go through.

As I get farther along my anxiety seems to increase but I think it really helps that I see her twice a week and then hear her little heartbeat when I see the doctor. It seems to calm me down for a the few days in between and then by the time it is my next appointment I am ready to see or hear her. I think I will finally be able to breathe when she comes out and is safe in my arms. She is an active little kicker, so that helps too. She lets me know she is alive and well with her strong kicks and punches! She passed her test today with flying colors: good fluid, good movement, and good breathing! I didn't get a picture because the U/S tech knew I was in a hurry and got right down to business!

Maternity Pictures!

Thursday evening my wonderful friend and visiting teacher Lori came over to take Maternity pictures. I didn't get any with Kade or Kooper and wish that I had. She recently fell in love with photography and is really good she even got Kade to actually participate. (He has been anti-picture taking for almost a year) He will let us take his picture but doesn't want anything to do with people he doesn't know very well. She did such an awesome job. I have posted some favorites below.

This one is my favorite. I think it shows perfectly how this pregnancy has been for me. I love how I am a little blurred and the focus is on FAITH. Because that is what I have had to have ever since my precious Kooper went to heaven. I have had to HAVE FAITH, faith that God has a plan, that he knows what is best for my family, and HAVE FAITH that he will bless our lives and help us grow. Faith has always been a favorite value for me. I have always wanted to name my little girl faith, if only I could get my husband to agree!

It was hard for me to not put one of each on here.... I love them all!