Words cannot describe the pain that I felt yesterday. Although I thought the year anniversary seemed so far away, it has come so fast. Last July 10th and 11th seems like they were only yesterday. I wish I could go back in time and change the way things happened, but I just have to remind myself that it happened for a reason. I still don't know what that reason is but one day I will find out. I have to remind myself of all the positive things that can come from something so heartbreaking.Yesterday I was so sad that Kooper wasn't here and just had an overall bad day. It was the day that he died. I am not sure when exactly but I knew it was that day sometime that he stopped moving. I expected to feel the same way today, but to my surprise I don't. I am not exactly happy, but I feel at peace. I still wish Kooper was here. I am sure I will have a mixture of emotions today but the most important thing about today it to celebrate that Kooper is part of our family. He is a special spirit that was meant to touch our lives and make us stronger. He is Our son. He is Kade and Kamryn's brother. He is an inspiration to me.
It is weird how someone so small can have such a HUGE impact on so many people. I miss him more than anything in this world. I yearn to hold him. Kamryn has helped heal some wounds and has helped me have hope that not all pregnancies will go badly, but she will never replace my baby. As much as she fills my arms today and I am so lucky to have her and love her so very much I still have empty arms and a hole in my heart. I keep it together and am not depressed but there is not one day that I don't think about my Kooper. Everyday before I go to bed I look at his ultrasound picture beside my bed or the picture hanging on the wall and I pray for him. I love him so much. My kids mean the world to be and I am so glad that the Lord has blessed me with them.
Kooper,
We love you very much. You are so special to our family and we look forward to the day when we will be together again.
Sending Hugs and Kisses all the way to heaven!
Love,
Daddy, Mommy, Kade and Kamryn
6 comments:
Oh sweet Kooper! Happy Angelversary! I'm not sure if "happy" is the right word but I hope its peaceful for you. I'm so sorry you can't have your Kooper right now. Those pictures are so awesome. I love the big picture framed on the easel. What a great way to include him in the pictures. I love it.
Isn't it amazing how fast the year went. Sometimes it feels like so long and other times so short. Does it sometimes all feel like a bad dream to you? That is how I have been feeling lately. You are in my prayers.
I love you Kooper.
Love,
The Burninghams
we were thinking about you guys all day today, you and your sweet baby boy Kooper. We love you guys and are so lucky that all 5 of you are in our lives.
I love your family pictures with a picture of Kooper in them you are brilliant! The first year goes by so fast, and so does the second. Happy 1st birthday baby Kooper.
I love the pictures with Kooper - what a great way to get him in the picture and the monkey symbolizing him is great too. Beautiful children!
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