Had a bad day...

Today has been a horrible day. I could go on and on and on about why it has been so horrible but I won't. I am trying not to be the world's worst mother but Kade is pushing my buttons and my house is a wreck. I wish I could just take a nap and wake up to a happy 4 year old and a clean house. Kamryn is doing good, she had her 2 week check-up today and all is well. She has gained a whopping 8 oz. since birth!

I can't get my mind off my Kooper today. I wonder if that is why my mood is not so great. A year ago today I had my last ultrasound of Kooper. I saw him moving around and enjoying his stay in my tummy. His estimated weight was 7lbs, 6oz. I was only 37weeks pregnant with him and based on his tummy size alone he was the size of a 39 week baby. I miss him so much!

When I look at Kamryn I see alot of Kooper, maybe it's the hair! When I see her cry she looks alot like Kade did when he would cry. Then again Kade and Kooper looked very similar also.

I wish he could be here. I honestly can't picture myself sane with a 2 week old baby, an almost 1 year old and then to top it off a 4 year old that doesn't listen (I need super nanny!). Although it doesn't sound very fun (to me anyway). I wish I could have it. I wish I could have him here and have my Irish twins together! I see how Kade loves to play with SaraJane and I wish he had that relationship with Kooper. He is such a good brother and wishes Kamryn could play like SaraJane does.