Kade's new friends

Yesterday Kade was playing out on the patio. The neighbors directly behind us were up on their balcony. They have 2 boys that are younger than Kade. They both started yelling back and forth asking each other questions. Well it ended up that Kade went over to play. I had only met this family once, so we spent a little time talking. I found out that there youngest boy was born only 2 days before Kooper. Well after Kade played a little bit I walked over to there house and talked to them a little bit more and I got to see Kade playing with the younger boy, the was the same age Kooper would have been. It was funny that he got along better with this 1 and a half year old better than an almost 4 year old. It was cute to see them interact. I always wondered what it would have been like if Kooper were here to play with Kade. I would imagine it all the time and wish it when Kade would ask me to play cars over and over. I wished he had a little brother here to play cars with him. It made me miss Kooper alot. It made me really wish I could see what he would look like and know what his personality would be like. How well would they actually get along? I would love to go walk by Kade's bedroom and here them in their laughing and talking before they went to sleep.

A funny thing Kade said the other day, " Mommy, I want a BIG brother!"

Then later when he was yelling back and forth to the boys outside, he told them about Kamryn and then said, "I have a big brother too!"

Maybe he is getting sick of having to do things for himself and watch me to do everything for Kamryn. He wants someone to do things for him!

Sorry Kade you are the oldest. Life gets tougher as you get older so enjoy it while your young....Wow that saying just made me feel OLD!

Watermelon

I love WATERMELON! Yesterday I bought a "personal" size watermelon at Sam's club. This afternoon Kade and I cut it up and we are amost finished! We are both watermelon freaks! My only stipulation when it come to eating watermelon is that it has to be cold. I will eat it warm or at room temperature, but it is so much better cold. This watermelon isn't that great but yummmm....it doesn't matter. I will eat just about any watermelon. I could live off watermelon. I crave it all winter long and as soon as I see the first watermelon at the store I get so excited and buy them alot! Kamryn even likes it! Ryan isn't such a big fan, but that's okay, it just means more watermelon for Kade and I! I love just plain watermelon, nothing else, no salt, or dip. You should Google pictures of watermelon...interesting. Also I found this recipe...looks good. When I first saw the picture it looked like the pancakes were soft chips ahoy cookies. I think it sounds better than blueberry pancakes, not sure about it tasting better though.

http://www.watermelon.org/kids_recipes.asp

Kids Watermelon Sandwich Cookies
Kids will love them!

Ingredients
12 (3-inch) blueberry pancakes, cooled to room temperature
1/2 cup white frosting
6 (2/3-inch thick and 3-inch round) seedless watermelon slices, drained to remove excess moisture
Instructions
Evenly frost the bottoms of each pancake with the white frosting. Arrange six of the pancakes, frosting side up on a serving platter. Place a slice of watermelon on each of the frosted pancakes on the platter. Top each with the remaining pancakes, frosting side down. Serve immediately or cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Serves 6.

I learned alot of things like how good watermelon actually is for your body. I knew it wasn't bad for your body but I found out that it's great for your heart and blood vessels and it's rich in antioxidants

One thing I am not a fan of is the artifical flavor of watermelon. It never tastes like watermelon!

"The Look"

Have you ever got "the look" from strangers like, I can't believe she is letting her child do that? I know that I am guilty of giving them, of course when I give them I think the parent is being stupid. Usually the look is more directed at the child and the Mom is too busy to even notice the child or "the look". So maybe someone thought I was being stupid today. Actually when I get these looks it is almost ALWAYS for the same reason and it is only given by the people who work at these stores that I actually get "the look" from and honestly I ignore them. Haha even when they make a comment.
Kade likes to climb in and out of the cart himself. I stand and let him do it and I am there if he falls. Well today he was climbing into the cart at Sam's club and the lady at the door gave me "the look" and walks over telling Kade (me), "You better not do that, you are going to tip the whole cart over." I politely ignored her and her comment, Kade climbed up and we went on our way. I am his Mom, I am right there and yes maybe I am letting my son do something stupid, but he loves to do it and he has been doing it for quite some time now and I know what he is capable of doing. Then while we were in Sam's club they had this nice couch I was admiring and I sat down on it. Kade said he wanted to try. I walked back to the cart and he proceeded to climb out himself. I glanced the other way and there was a Sam's club worker walking by shaking her head at me. I was right in front of Kade and if he were to start to fall I was right there to catch him. I am sure they have seen kids fall out of the cart many times with how kids are, but it was kind of funny because she was staring right at me shaking her head! Many times I have been at Target and got the same response from the old lady workers. I ignore their stares and their comments and laugh a little inside. maybe it is my own little way of being rebellious!

Also just wanted to share some pictures of the kids at the park today. We had a little picnic and I let Kade play and we went for a walk around the pond.

This is how Kamryn spent most of the walk. No she isn't asleep. She just enjoyed looking at the ground or the wheels. Who knows?

Tired

I am sooo tired. I am not sure why but ever since last night I just feel tired even though I slept pretty good and even layed down on the couch for an hour while Kade was watching some cartoons and Kamryn took a nap. It's weird because Kamryn has been sleeping through the night. Last night was the 5th night in a row...maybe I am getting too much sleep? Also I have been having some pretty strange dreams!

Kaiya's surgery went well. There were a few unexpected surprises, but she is doing good. Thanks for the prayers!

It's been a long day yet again. Kade is going through a phase where he is hitting Kamryn or CJ. So we are dealing with that. Kamryn is doing great, she likes to babble lately. It's cute because for a while she was pretty quiet. Lately when we are driving or when she is just super happy she just bababababba babbles. Kade told me today that she said his name! Oh the imaginations of kids. She is much more content with being left to play now that has the ability to move as she pleases. I got a lot done today, no housework, but that is what I get to do now. The baby is doing well. Kicking like crazy and reminding me of his presence, which I love! Ryan is busy with work, it was really nice to spend Tuesday with him and the kids. He always keeps me laughing.

By the way I finished the second book in the Hunger Games Series, called Catching Fire....soooooooo good! I can't wait until August....the final book is released!

I wish I had something interesting or exciting to post about...maybe I should take more pictures???

Prayers for Kaiya

I am so tired, it's been a LONG day and I am off to bed. Before I close my eyes I do want to ask all of you to say a little prayer for my newest niece Kaiya. She is having surgery first thing tomorrow morning. She is just a month old and I can't believe she has to go through surgery! So please keep her and her parents in your prayers. I think sometimes the parents need them more because of the stress and worry that it causes them! The baby or child sometimes doesn't even realize that something is happening and the parents just worry, worry, worry. So please say a little prayer for them.

Sending you are love Kaiya!

Goodnight!

I got scammed...well I think I did.

I just wanted to say thanks for the sweet comments yesterday. I was just having a hard day. Today was much better and it was so nice to get out of the house. Ryan had the day off and we went to the outlets and then I had to run to Target. It has been a nice day. The only downer is that we were coming out of Target and a nice sweet girl, probably about 25 or so come up to us with glossy eyes and asked us for a dollar or two because her car ran out of gas...so she says. Ryan gave her a couple dollars. Then we just kind of watched her a little bit and she goes over to a green SUV hands the money to a guy and heads off to another end of the parking lot to get some more money. Maybe they did run out of gas...but it didn't look like it. It looked like she was scamming people.But who am I to judge? Ryan has seen it before. There are really professional bums out there.

When Ryan first moved to Phoenix he and his Mom saw a lady asking for money on a corner with her cardboard sign and dressed like she had not had a shower in a while and like she slept outside and had no home. Well a few blocks away they were eating at Wendy's when they watch the same lady walk to the back of the Wendy's look around to see if there were many people around and jumped into a really nice Lexis and drive off.

I have no problem giving to those in need and helping people out. It is what Jesus would do right? But when you get taken advantage of it makes you feel like crap. I hardly ever give strangers money, part of the reason is I hardly ever have cash. One time when I was approached by someone who was asking for a few dollars I gave them some extra donuts that I had in my car. I took them to work and they didn't all get eaten. I felt good, and I knew that way that I was able to help. I guess either way God sees the charity that I give and I will be blessed for it, even if the person I gave it to is a scammer!

On another note I have been craving Wendy's bread sticks like CRAZY! Does anybody remember those? They were only 25 cents! You could also get one if you got the salad bar....yummmm.....they were the best bread sticks ever. They would beat Olive Garden any day. I am still trying to figure out why they got rid of them. I tried to find an old picture of them....no luck.

Anxiety

My chest hurts. It feels like a stabbing pain from the front to the back of the left side of my chest and I can't get it to go away. No I am not having a heart attack, it's anxiety. I look normal maybe more agitated.My temper is short and I am having a "hot flash" I usually am not even sure why I am having anxiety. When I first started to experience this pain I had no idea what it was. This was before I became pregnant with Kooper. I thought I was having heart problems. I went to the doctor and was referred to a cardiologist. Everything was perfect. It was then that I researched and figured out that this occurred mostly at work, thinking about work. It went away as I knew my job would be coming to an end at Goodrich and that I would be venturing into a new career field. But it didn't go away for long. When I became pregnant again it showed it's ugly face, the worry about Kamryn and losing another baby made the painful sharp pain in my chest reappear making it seem hard to breath, feeling lightheaded, feeling like I was trapped and suffocating and not getting enough air. Sometimes I had to really think about what was causing it and even when I figured out what was, like today the pain just persists. I went outside to try and get some fresh air, that didn't help. I tried talking to someone and that person didn't care to listen. I think they are mad at me. I won't name any names because that is hurtful. But I have this huge pain in my chest and it won't go away. I am trying to take deep breaths. I am trying to think through the reason and reassure myself that it's okay! You will be fine, the baby will be fine, but it's hard. It's hard as this baby reaches the point at which it is a viable baby. He is getting bigger and kicking more and I am getting more attached. Ever since I lost Kooper. When I have been pregnant with Kamryn and now this baby I try and tell myself that it could all be taken away from me. and I try not to get too attached. Of course I will, but I really just try not too. This morning when I got home from work and went to sleep for a while I dreamt of him being born too early and of trying to fix him. I woke up before there was any outcome, but that is causing the anxiety. I am afraid to lose him. Today I am worried, because of a stupid dream. Yesterday as Kade and I played the name game I talked about it my yesterday's post I realize how much alike the names Keegan and Kooper are....it scares me. I have become superstitious. I find things that seem the same and make them the same even though to others may not see a connection.

Kooper
Keegan

Does anyone see a resemblance? Double letters (double o's double e's), the same amount of letters, the same organization of consonant and vowels?

This too might be part of my anxiety, but it's mostly the dream. As I type it feels a little better and then I stop and I feel it come again.

Dear Anxiety,
I just wish you would go away, I hate you! You hurt my heart, you make me feel pain, you suck energy from me and put me in a BAD mood, you make me think bad thoughts you make me feel like I am suffocating and it's not nice! I hate you.
Please go away. I would greatly appreciate it.
Kami

I don't want the post to end, because then I will feel you again. But it must I have no more words.