As I was reading a few of other Angel Mommies blogs one Mom brought up, "Mommy marks" I was super lucky to not get any Mommy marks with Kade (actually I got a very small one that was about an inch long). But after my belly shrunk back down you couldn't see it. Kooper was so active and long he left lots of Mommy marks! At first as they started to come I thought great my stomach will never look the same. As I was in the hospital awaiting Kooper's arrival knowing he wouldn't come home with me. I realized that these Mommy marks were the best part about me. I tell people that Kooper has literally left his mark on me. I love them. As they started to fade I kind of felt sad. Even though they are so ugly. They are my proof he was here in my belly.
BABY update: An oh so exciting thing happened to me on Sunday night. Saturday night I was really bothered that I hadn't REALLY felt the baby move. I thought I might have but I wasn't 100% positive. I started to worry because Saturday I felt great. Not sick at all. All I could think about was, this is a sign of miscarriage. Not feeling the symptoms and then the baby hasn't moved yet and I was positive that I had started feeling Kooper move by this time. I started having anxiety and thought if I don't feel this baby soon then I am calling the doctor on Monday. My next appt would be an ultrasound and I am not walking into an ultrasound to find that my baby had no heartbeat. (I know that seems so pessimist, but once you go through what I have it makes you think that ANYTHING can happen to you or your baby, everything isn't always pretty and perfect) I do know that it's all in God's hands, so I prayed. I prayed that I would feel the baby and that everything would be fine. Well Sunday came, so did the nauseating feeling I have had for most of this pregnancy. I guess God figures that I need proof I am pregnant and if being sick all the time makes me feel more pregnant than that's the way it has to be. Sunday night after the cardinals game I started feeling the baby kick. Not from the outside though. And then I woke up at 4am Monday morning and I felt the baby kicking. I put my hand on my tummy and I felt the baby kick 4 times!!!! I woke Ryan up and said I can feel it! And I grabbed his hand. By the time he rolled over and put his had on my tummy, no more kicking. So pretty soon he will get to feel our little baby kicking around.
Kade likes to talk about the baby in my tummy and whenever mentioned he wants to see and wants to look at my belly. I am not sure he understands what he is in for. His little brother isn't here with us so I don't know what he is expecting when this little one arrives, but I look forward to seeing them bond. In sunbeams they have been talking about how we came to earth to get a body. It was so cute, the other day he and I were looking at pictures of Kooper. Most of the pictures in my house are closeups of his face. As the one came up with his entire body he said, Kooper has a body! And it was a perfect moment to let Kade know that yes, he does and that's all he needed to go back to live with our Heavenly Father. He came down here to get his body. And then Kade continued to let me know that Kooper lives with Jesus Christ too! Kade makes me smile. It is so amazing how much he learns!
3 comments:
You know, I think being pregnant after a loss is the single most frightening thing that a woman can ever do. Unfortunately our experiences have shown us just what can happen at the worst. I had a hard time with this pregnancy too. with both my girls I was very sick the whole time. With this little guy I woke up one morning feeling fabulous, and it, too, was before I really was feeling him move, and I was freaking out for 3 days. I did what you did, and realized after the third day that since I wasn't cramping/bleeding, I must still be pregnant. Isn't it great how the Lord knows what we need to hear? Anyway, I'm so glad that you are feeling your baby move! Enjoy it!
I'm so glad you are feeling the new baby. I was scared my whole pregnancy right up until the moment I heard him cry. I burst into tears because I was so grateful for that sound. A sound I never heard from Scott.
Thanks for helping me be grateful for my "Mommy Marks."
Now that Hyaden is getting bigger (just turned 2) he can talk more with me about Scott. I asked him yesterday where baby Scott was and he told me he is with Jesus.
I think your Mommy marks are great. I am glad that you are feeling preggo again. I can't wait to find out what you are having.
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