Thursday, November 5, 2009

I couldn't think of a title for this post, so there isn't one. I know that everybody grieves in their own way. I am not one to judge the way somebody wants to grieve, really it isn't my place. I wouldn't want someone else to judge the way I grieve because we all do it in our own way. But this is my blog, and I really would like to get some words off my chest.

I follow a blog of a Mother grieving the loss of her twin boys. She announced on her blog that she will not be celebrating the holidays this year. These would be the first holidays without her boys. I understand that this might be hard. Actually I understand that it is VERY hard. I know, I have been through it. I know it is hard, but honestly how can you not give thanks for the things you do have? How can you not give thanks for your healthy body, a wonderful husband, a job, a place to live, food on the table, and even getting the chance to carry your sweet babies, even though it was for a short time? Even though they aren't here now and I KNOW it's heartbreaking, but knowing that they are safe in our Father's hands? I know people who would give anything to have the chance to just be able to carry a baby, and know what it feels like to feel them kicking and moving around. I don't know her religious belief. I do believe she has some sort of belief in God because she calls her babies Angels.

Which brings me to the next subject, how can you NOT Celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ? He died for us so that we can live with our Heavenly Father again. He made the ultimate sacrifice and is an example to all. He is who we strive to be like.

To me all this sounds crazy. Some may disagree and that is where I say again, this is my opinion and this is my blog.... Others commented on her blog that they understood why she didn't want to celebrate these holidays. I wanted to post that I couldn't understand. I don't get why she wouldn't celebrate these holidays. It's tough, but life it tough and you just have to make the best of it. Maybe you cry the whole day wishing your babies were with you, but that is when you don't care what others might think of your crying the whole day, You have the freedom to cry whenever you want, no one will judge.

For me these Holidays bring excuses to talk about Kooper and to display certain things. For example at Christmas time we have a special tree for Kooper that I display the letters we bought for his room to hang on the wall, and special things that were bought just for him.

This year I have something special planned to celebrate Kooper as a part of our family and also help out a little boy too. I can't wait to tell you all, but that is for another post.

I don't mean to judge the way someone grieves, but I just couldn't help writing my feelings towards it. You never know maybe she reads my blog and will change her mind.

So to those out there missing a family member who has passed on, think about the real reason for celebrating the holidays and also consider asking yourself as I do as the holidays came around last year, "What would Kooper want me to do?"

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3 comments:

TheBurninghams said...

Best post ever. Christmas is about Christ, his goodness and love for all of us. To deny your self of the time of year when almost everyone (even those not as religious) turns themselves to God. Is something that I am certain would break his heart. Life is hard. But happiness and joy is alot easier to find then some people think. Thanks Kami! What a great post

Our Family said...

Thanks for sharing. I have followed your blog since losing my son in July. I agree with you about the holidays. I intend to celebrate with a slightly different slant but enjoy anyway.

Cori White said...

hi there. we just lost our baby girl 1 month ago. Kyndal was supposed to be born the day after an amnio. We think it was a cord accident. We are still getting used to the idea of loosing her. we are going to have a stocking for her and every good thing that is done in our famiyl we will write down for that month and then open it Christmas morning. check out our blog too.. i saw yours off of angelbabies..
bladesandcoriwhite.blogspot.com