Thursday, July 11, 2013

Happy 5th Birthday Kooper!!!

I can’t believe Kooper would be 5 years old! Sometimes it feels like yesterday and then there are moments when I wake up in the morning and think, was it all a nightmare, did I really have a son that died? And then I am back to reality and it did happen. I miss him so much. He is a special part of our family.  I found this quote and I feel that it is soo true! I can’t remember who the author is.

When your child dies, everything hurts- every part of your mind, your body, your heart, and your soul – every cell in  your body aches from the tips of you hair to the tips of you toes. It’s as if every tiny molecule within you is screaming to protest, “No, no, no this can’t be true!”

I am glad that the pain I felt is gone. I never knew how to describe it until a few months ago when I read this. Every once in a while it comes back but only for a short time. A good cry and talk with God or a close friend or family member makes it feel much better. I know that I will see him again. I know that he is in a better place just not the place I wish he was in. I know that there is nothing I could have done to change what happened. I know that things happen for a reason and he is up in heaven doing work that couldn’t be done here on earth. He is my son. I am proud to be his mom and I look forward to the day that we will be reunited and I can hold him in my arms again!

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For his birthday we decided to go to the movie Despicable Me 2 as a family and then we went to the cemetery to let balloons go. Luckily the guy gave us an extra one because one popped on the way there!


Yes, Kade is sitting in Kamryn’s booster! Kamryn wanted to sit in the back in Kade’s booster!

IMG_5590    IMG_5596 IMG_5597 IMG_5601  IMG_5606 Keegan let go of his balloon a little early, so I let him do mine!

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We ended our night sharing the cake I made for his birthday with our friends the Dunn’s. They just welcomed a new baby girl Mallory into their family and we are so happy for them and the safe arrival of their baby!


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