Keegan's happiest place on earth

This kid would stay on this little merry go round all day if he could. He refuses to play when we go to the play area at the mall. He screams bloody murder when we have to leave but for those few minutes he gets to ride he looks like he is at the happiest place on earth!

Sick kids!

Last night was a LONG night! Both the kids are getting colds and teeth! The main problem is that they both NEED to sleep in their own beds. Kamryn was up and down all night. She can only sleep in her bed. She will lay by you for a few minutes in our bed when she is sick and then she has to move again and then move again and it's just restless and she never falls asleep.  Finally at 4:30 we had some cereal and watched Toy Story 3 until we both passed out. Keegan was up in our bed on and off when Kamryn wasn't. He sleeps better in his own bed but when he is sick or restless with teething he likes to hold me. Really I hold him and he wraps his arms around my neck or grabs my hands or my hair. He sleeps pretty well with us because not that long ago he was sleeping with us. The only problem is that now he is on the move it is hard to let him sleep with us especially when we can't barricade him between us in our huge bed. He has had a fall that luckily no harm was done, but I was worried it would happen again. So they both got Tylenol and that didn't help. I can't find my teething tablets so no luck there. Needless to say it was a long night. So today we took it easy. Kade asked a million times it doesn't feel like I am exaggerating but I am sure I am if we could go to the park but lucky us, we hard rain all day and nice cool weather and with sick kids, we didn't make it to the park. Looks like I will be staying home from church tomorrow so I don't spread the germs to all the other little ones in nursery. Of course that is probably where she picked it up!

 Last night we were discussing the things I wanted to do with the kitchen. It's going to be a long process because we don't have the money to just redo everything at once but last night I decided that we are starting with painting the kitchen. So since we were pretty much stuck at home with sick kids Ryan and I prepped the kitchen and tonight we painted! We still have lots more to do like...refinish the cabinets, back splash, hardware for the cabinets and whatever else pops up. But it is progress. I will keep you posted!

I just wanted to show some recent pictures of the kids. I haven't had any luck getting Kamryn's picture with her tongue sticking out. She hasn't really tried except for once. I don't think she understands since it has never gone further than her lip!  Hopefully I will get a picture soon so I can put up the before and after.

 This one is before the surgery...don't mind the crazy hair!

 Keegan's favorite thing to do....I need to get something to cover those wires. Strangulation hazard! Yikes!

 His second favorite thing to do...either his thumb or his toe....he doesn't care!

D-backs fan fest and V-day!

Saturday we took the kids to the Diamondback's Fan Fest! The kids had a lot of fun. They had bouncers and the company Ryan works for is a sponsor so we were able to see a few of his co-workers.  Here are a few pictures from our day!

Even Keegan had a D-backs shirt on!

 I thought I got a pic with Kamryn and her stickers but I guess I didn't.  She ended up with a rash where her stickers were...

**********Valentines Day! ************

 Don't these look delicious??? They are! This is what Ryan got me for Valentine's Day even though last week I asked and I thought we agreed that we weren't doing presents this year. Oh well we BOTH got to enjoy them! Thanks hunny you know me so well!

The kids got spoiled with gifts in the mail from grandparents and then I ended up not having to work so Ryan and I put the kids to bed and then spent the rest of the night eating our strawberries and catching up on our favorite shows on the DVR! I know so romantic...at least I wasn't at work and I got to spend some time with Ryan!

I found this in CJ's bed....either he stole it from Kamryn or Kamryn wanted to give CJ a nice treat! I am betting on the first one...

The kids!

Keegan and Kamryn are starting to play more and more. They get mad at each other for taking eachothers toy. Neither of them really know how to share yet. Kamryn tells him No No and he laughs at her.

Ms. Crazy Hair this morning!

Look at me mom!

Today Kade was looking at Keegan and said, "Mom, that's my shirt when I was a baby." he must have remembered seeing pictures of himself in the same outfit.

Poor buddy had a fall this morning and got a little carpet burn! :(

 The new table. It has chalkboard paint on top!

 I hate the flash because my kids always blink when I try and take their picture!

 Keegan is already pullhg himsefl up to stand..YIKES!

Last but not least today Kade told me, "I want Kamryn to be big so we can fight!" Oh great! They already wrestle and I can barely handle that!

 

8 Months old!

I have been telling people that Keegan is 8 months old for a while now. I guess he seems older than he is to me and I'm the one that doesn't want him to grow up! Keegan is just growing up way too fast. Just in the past week and a half he has started crawling and really fast, clapping and learning how to do new things everyday. It makes me sad that my little baby is growing so fast! He is starting to get mad when you take away things that he isn't supposed to have. Before he could care less and find something else to chew on. He is sleeping good some nights, other nights he sleeps good, only he wants to sleep on our comfy bed and not his crappy crib mattress. We are hoping this doesn't last too much longer. His teeth might be bothering him. He melts my heart with his smile. He is such a lovey baby and loves to snuggle up. He loves to grab my hair or necklace and play with them. Lately he has been chewing on his fingers or putting whatever he can in his mouth (including my hair or my necklace!) He is such a good baby. He has his moments but honestly I couldn't have asked for a  better little guy. Either I have gotten good at this mom thing or God has blessed me with a good baby because he knows I need it with the kids being so close together. I am thinking it is the second one. I didn't get pictures of Keegan today because I was sleeping most of the day since I worked last night and tonight. Maybe I will manage to get some of the cutie tomorrow!

So...a few days ago Keegan had a major blowout! I mean major. I had to throw his outfit away it was so bad. Luckily the outfit was barely fitting so I wasn't too sad about getting rid of it. He has usually been a backed up kind of kid in that department especially since switching him to formula. I can feel two little bumps on his bottom gums so I think this stinky situation has something to do with teething. 

Keegan is starting to play more and more with Kade and Kamryn. A few weeks ago Kade was playing with his Tech Decks, (I think that's what they are called) those finger skateboards. Well Keegan was laying on the floor just staring at him. He looked so amazed. Kade went and got one for Keegan to play with and Keegan didn't put it in his mouth one time. Usually anything he can get his hands on goes straight to his mouth. He just sat there and played with it, trying to make it do cool tricks like Kade. It was so cute.

I love this little guy and wish he would stay in this stage forever! He is a charmer! I will have to update this post later with his height and weight as I didn't have a chance to get that done today either! Hey at least I got a blog post right???

Little reminders

Everyday I have little things that remind me of Kooper. Not everyday is it something that specifically represents him.  I have an account on babycenter.com. I have been on babycenter since before I became pregnant with Kade. You put in the dates or due dates of you children and then they have birth boards for the month and year that your baby is due so you can ask questions and compare things to other moms throughout the baby years. So after Kooper died I went to the stillbirth boards to find comfort. Comfort in knowing that someone else understood what I had gone through. What I found was not that. Many, not all but many didn't have much belief of the afterlife or their belief's weren't strong. So these boards ended up not doing me much good because their feelings were so different then mine although we still stood on some common ground.  So after that I never followed the birth boards much. I couldn't go to Kooper"s and see all these ladies complain about their baby because I would have given ANYTHING to have my baby not sleep a minute of the night. Although I very well know I would have been complaining if I was in their shoes. Being a Mom isn't easy.  I have entered Keegan and Kamryn's information in and every week I get an update about what they might be doing developmentally. I still get them for Kooper. It is one of those reminders.  Today i received a Huggies pamphlet not only for Kamryn but for Kooper too. It doesn't say his name on it but it is for the potty training years.

When I became pregnant with Kooper I signed up for Huggies coupons. You put in your information about your expected due date and start receiving samples and coupons. I still get them for Kooper. It doesn't really make me sad. Because lets be honest who wants to be potty training an almost 3 year old??? It's bittersweet because it reminds me of what could have been or would have been and what stage he would be in. But anytime I get a reminder that Kooper is real and that he is my baby it makes me happy.

Tonight as Kade was saying his prayers the first thing that he said was, "I'm thankful for Kooper." and then the last thing he said was, "I hope Kooper has awesome balloons!" (today we went to Chick-a-fillet and he and Kamryn got balloons and he kept talking about letting the balloons go to Kooper.) Before he said his prayers he was facing his Kooper monkey and I am pretty sure that reminded him of  his little brother.

Last night as I tucked Kade in to bed I had Keegan in my arms and I told Kade that in a few years he would be able to have a roommate, Keegan! And that Keegan could sleep on the pull-out trundle bed.  I told him that if Kooper were here and alive that he would be as big as Sara Jane and that he would be big enough to share a room and sleep in a big boy bed. He smiled and said, "But Mom, He's in heaven!" I smiled back thinking, I know, silly me!

Fun weekend

It is so weird when you go from blogging every day to blogging whenever you have make time to blog. I feel like I have missed out on documenting so many happenings from my weekend and I don't want to forget them. So lets start off with Thursday!

Thursday:
Keegan started crawling. He hasn't gotten much better or faster yet (which is definitely a good thing!). I thought for sure when I got back from Utah he would be all over the place but luckily he isn't going to fast only a few crawls and then he goes down to his tummy! Kade kinked his neck for the first time pretty bad. He just stayed on the couch all night trying not to move because it hurt. He asked me if I could give him a blessing and I told him I couldn't but I bet Daddy would when he got home from work. He started to cry and asked when Daddy would be home. I told him that if he wanted we could say a prayer in the meantime and he was satisfied with that, until he realized that just because you say a prayer it won't make the pain go away instantly!

Friday:
I left to go to Utah for my sisters baby shower. I took Kamryn along with me for a little girls weekend. I had a very neat experience. People always say it's a small world but I think that people are put in our paths for a reason.
Not too long after Kooper passed away I received an e-mail from a women in Utah that had a stillborn baby girl just months before I had Kooper. She will never know how much her e-mails meant to me. They inspired me and I only hoped that I could help others as much as she had helped me. She started a blog site that had links to other Angel Mommy blogs and there I was able to see others experiences and relate to them when I felt like I was the only person that was going through this. Little did I know how common stillbirth really was. So anyway back to the present. As I boarded on the airplane I began searching for an empty row so that someone could "choose" to sit by someone with a baby. As I was walking back someone who looks familiar says to me, "Are you Kooper's mom?" and I am sure my face lit up because it isn't very often that I get asked that. Actually I don't think I have ever been asked that. I immediately knew who she was even before I answered, "yes" and she told me, "I'm Savannah's mom!" She had a layover in Phoenix and we ended up on the same flight. It was so nice to talk to her in person. She is such a sweet girl and so pretty. She was also very nice to help me with Kamryn. Kamryn didn't do so well on the flight. She did okay but could have done better. Unfortunately we sat at the gate for 30 minutes before the plane even moved. It was also during Kamryn's nap time and I think it might have been bothering her ears a little bit. Luckily the flight wasn't too long. I wish it were longer and that I didn't have Kamryn because I could have talked to her for hours.

My Mom and little sister Ashley picked us up from the airport and we went to my favorite place to eat in Utah, Crown Burger. Then we did a little shopping which is always fun.

Saturday:
We  had Ashley's baby shower. It was a lot of fun to see lots of family many of them I hadn't seen in a while and I got to hold 2 cute little newborns! Oh how I wish my babies would stay that small forever! So sweet!

While I was having fun in Utah Ryan took Kade to Monster Jam, the monster truck show. They had a lot of fun. Ryan said next year the whole family is going to go!

Sunday:
We spent more time with family and then we had to wake up bright and early Monday morning at 3:30 am so that I could be at the airport in time for my 6:50am flight. Thanks Mom and Dad for waking up so early and driving me to the airport! Kamryn did a little better this time but I don't want to have to fly with her again anytime soon!

So that's it! It was a great weekend. Loved seeing my family. I can't wait for baby Maleaha to be born!

Tired!

I feel like I am forgetting to do something at the end of the day and I thnk it's blogging. I miss the daily updates that I can look back on. Plus I found out that it takes my husband days before he even looks at my blog because he knows it isn't updated daily!

I swear this month is going by so slow! It feels like it has been January FOREVER! Does January always go by this slow?
I am surprised I am even up to blgging right now. Ryan doesn't usually work until later on Tuesdays so when I work on Monday nights I usually get to sleep for a little bit, that was not the case today. He left at 8am and Kamryn and Keegan woke up just in time....so it's been a long day and I am ready to call it a night and crawl into bed. The house is a disaster because I don't have the energy or the patience to clean it, since it will probably be destroyed in less than 10 minutes by a 5 year old and a 19 month old!

I really don't have anything to blog about but I don't like looking at my blog and seeing the same post for more than a day or two....I wish i had something cooler to post about.

I entered this cute picture of Keegan into a photo contest...it is only this week. So go vote for Keegan (click on his name to vote)!

Keegan

I was going to meet up with my friend Teri to do a craft and she took a few pictures of Keegan at the park before.  Keegan was so interested in the grass and leaves that it was hard to get a smile out of him! Maybe we need to spend more time outdoors?

We didn't even end up doing the craft, instead we went to playgroup at the park by my house. It was fun anyways!

  I will definitely share the craft when we finally do it. It's gonna be a cute one!

On the brain...

So I saw someone else put just a bunch of random thoughts from their brain as a blog post and I lvoed it so I copied her!

• Keegan is growing up too fast and soon he will be crawling and I am gonna be in trouble!
• My kids watch way too much TV.
• I am finding it really hard to choose healthy food over chocolate and cookies.
• I am obsessing over a new blog that I am afraid to share....it has ideas on refinishing furniture and I feel like if I will have an even harder time than I already am having finding some furniture to try and refinish. In case you are reading this and have furniture you want to get rid of...even if it's old I am looking for a twin size headboard, a table (to seat at least 6), end tables, and dressers. Funny thing is I have never "refinished" anything but it looks so good! I think I can do it.
• I feel like I am going to be buying diapers for the rest of my life. I see an end to formula in my near future but diapers seem so far away...probably at least 2 years...AT LEAST!
• I worry about pregnant people alot lately, especially since alot of my friends are pregnant. Even if I don't tell them, I do think about them often and pray that they will have a healthy baby.
• I wonder if Keegan will ever sleep through the night. We moved his crib into our room so that he can scream as loud as he wants and not wake Kamryn up....well I still find myself picking him up so I can sleep....not so good.
• I wish I could pay an interior designer to help me with colors to paint the walls. I am stumped.
• I wonder how much Kamryn's surgery will end up costing. She is having her tongue tie problem fixed.
• I really want some new couches. Ryan thinks that paying towards debts sounds like a better idea!
• I am jealous of my sister and friend Jenna, they are having girls.  I am feeling bad that Kamryn doesn't have a sister and I am not willing to risk it for another boy (I've already got 3, 4 if you count Ryan!). Yeah, I know that sounds really bad. Plus I AM DONE so I don't even know why it's on my mind. Probably because there are so many pregnant people and my baby is not little anymore!
• Kamryn doesn't like Goodwill. I went in to look for some furniture I talked about above and she screamed until we started to leave...EVERYBODY was staring...totally embarrassing.
• I found a fabric line that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and I really want to make Kamryn a quilt for her bed (that she doesn't have yet) so I can figure out the exact color I want to paint her room. Problem is I don't know how to quilt and how much fabric to get.
• My sister Ashley's baby shower. I am nervous to be leaving the kids. Not that Ryan isn't a great parent, I haven't left my kids since we left Kade for a few nights while we went to a wedding out of state.. I am super excited to see my sister one last time before she has her baby!
• Is Kade ever going to lose a tooth or is Keegan ever going to get a tooth?

Keegan's 7 Months

Today when I realized that Keegan was 7 months old  I had to look back on a year ago when Kamryn turned 7 months old.   I was also thinking that Keegan looks so much like Kooper. I still see Kooper in him as he gets bigger. Ryan thinks that Keegan and Kade look alot a like but I look at Keegan and see just a little bit of Kade. I think it's mostly his eyes.  He is such a smiley boy but can turn the scream on like no other. His cry sounds similar to Kamryn's. They play so cute together. Kamryn loves to feed him his bottle even though he can hold it himself.  I looked over at Kamryn and Keegan playing together and thought that they may not even be here yet if I hadn't lost Kooper (that's a whole other post that I might have to go on about another time.) Back on subject! We are so lucky to have Keegan in our life. He has such a sweet spirit. I love it when he is crying and the second I pick him up he quiets down and rests his head on my shoulder and holds tight to my arms like he never wants to let go! I could hold my kids all day if I didn't have other responsibilities!

He is growing so much and learning things everyday! He is seriously going to be crawling any day now...really any day and I am so nervous for that because between Kamryn and Kade the house is always scattered with toys and everything is going to be in his mouth and I am going to have to worry about dog food again! Luckily it didn't take Kamryn long to realize that dog food isn't good. It took Kade quite a bit longer!  I don't know if it's a boy thing but I am hoping that we won't have that problem with Keegan.

He loves to eat and has loved all the baby foods so far!

Today he was laying on his boppy drinking his bottle and I look down and he is sitting up. He must be getting some abs of steel under all those rolls! He is so attentive and locks eyes with you and as soon as you lock eyes he has the biggest smile ready! He is such a flirt and always knows when the ladies talk to him what to do. He will smile..babble a little or giggle! I gotta keep my eye on Ryan when we go places together and I leave him alone...that little boy is a babe magnet! haha
He is saying Dadadada and Babababa....no Mamamam yet. I keep trying though!
 

 

  

 Do you think they look alike?

We love you Keegan!





Cute moments

Yesterday Kamryn was dancing around jabbering and I couldn't figure out what she was singing or doing with her hands and then it hit me. She was singing 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. My Dad started singing it to her when we were up in Utah and now it's her favorite song. She loves the bumped his head part! Please turn the volume down a little because I am singing! haha!!


Keegan started saying Dadadadada over and over the other day. So cute!

Sometimes when life is chaos...which is most of the time at our house I stop and think, Wow would it be crazy if Kooper were here. We would love it but life would be nuts. I wonder what he would be doing? Picking on his little sister? Getting into Kade's toys and messing it all up? Would Kade be nicer to Kamryn because Kooper was picking on her?

We are home!

We made it home early this morning. It was a long crazy drive on the snowy roads in Utah.  Kamryn had a short nap at the begining and then woke up and stayed awake watching Barney until almost 3:30am! We drove through the night hoping that the kids would sleep. Keegan and Kade did great...Kamryn just didn't want to be in the car at ALL!  We were sad to have to leave our family. We weren't more than 3 miles away when Kade said, "I miss my Grandma and Grandpa!" We love them so much and are so glad they were able to put up with the WHOLE family!

Here are a few pictures that I didn't get to post of our stay there...

 Kamryn is happy at first on the car ride to Utah!

 Kade and Kamryn got to open an early Christmas present on the way there! Kamryn got a Barney movie (her favorite!)

 Kade got a new DS game, Mario VS Donkey Kong!

 Keegan enjoyed playing with the case!

 Kamryn is so hard to entertain in the car. All she wants to do is get out of that seat! So I let her play with pretty much whatever she wants! Including my old ipod!

 Cousin Daion holding Keegan!

 My parents horse dog Harley chasing CJ.

 Of course we couldn't miss any of the USU basketball games! Go Aggies! The boys were so excited to meet BIG BLUE (their mascot)!

We made a trip up to Malad to visit my Grandparents. Only my Mom. sister Ashley, Keegan and I went because the boys had colds and my Grandma Alder has had some health problems and we didn't want to spread the germs!  So here is Keegan with his great grandma Alder.  I forgot to bring the camera in when we visited Grandma Williams.

 Kade and Daion may have fought like brothers during the day but at night they slept like they were best friends!

 Daion, Kamryn and Kade watching Shrek. Kamryn wouldn't go anywhere without those necklaces! She only took them off to bathe and sleep!

When we got home Santa left a present for Kamryn at our house. He must have known we couldn't bring it back from Utah!