Proud Mama and 20 months!

So proud of Kade! He got 100% on his last two spelling tests! Yay Kade!

Today I finally took Kamryn to her 18  20 month check-up! Yep that's how great of a mom I am...I am two months behind. I was a little off on the 15 month check-up, actualy I didn't know they had a 15 month one and took her at 17 monthxs and since she turned 18 months old when we were driving to Utah I was going to just schedule her appointment for January and I have been so busy and then I would forget so it finally got done today and she is 20 months old. She only had to have one shot! Thank goodness! She doesn't have anymore shots until her kindergarten shots.  She still has a stills heart murmur but nothing to be worried about. The doctor looked at her tongue and said that it is all healed and looks good. I am still trying to get her to stick it out. She is so cute and so a fun girl to be around. She is saying lots of words and a lot of gibberish I don't really understand. The other day Kade heard a few people talking to each other in another language (not gonna say what language because I don't want to offend anyone) he turned to me and said, "Mom, they talk like Kamryn!"

Kamryn is 33 3/4" tall and weights 26.5 pounds!  Both are in the 50-75 percentile!

Here she is waiting for the doctor...

I love her to pieces! She is such a Mama's girl...I don't know what I am going to do. But I can't complain that she wants to be and go everywhere with me cuz she is so fun to be around. And a great shopper as long as you have snacks!

Sick kids!

Last night was a LONG night! Both the kids are getting colds and teeth! The main problem is that they both NEED to sleep in their own beds. Kamryn was up and down all night. She can only sleep in her bed. She will lay by you for a few minutes in our bed when she is sick and then she has to move again and then move again and it's just restless and she never falls asleep.  Finally at 4:30 we had some cereal and watched Toy Story 3 until we both passed out. Keegan was up in our bed on and off when Kamryn wasn't. He sleeps better in his own bed but when he is sick or restless with teething he likes to hold me. Really I hold him and he wraps his arms around my neck or grabs my hands or my hair. He sleeps pretty well with us because not that long ago he was sleeping with us. The only problem is that now he is on the move it is hard to let him sleep with us especially when we can't barricade him between us in our huge bed. He has had a fall that luckily no harm was done, but I was worried it would happen again. So they both got Tylenol and that didn't help. I can't find my teething tablets so no luck there. Needless to say it was a long night. So today we took it easy. Kade asked a million times it doesn't feel like I am exaggerating but I am sure I am if we could go to the park but lucky us, we hard rain all day and nice cool weather and with sick kids, we didn't make it to the park. Looks like I will be staying home from church tomorrow so I don't spread the germs to all the other little ones in nursery. Of course that is probably where she picked it up!

 Last night we were discussing the things I wanted to do with the kitchen. It's going to be a long process because we don't have the money to just redo everything at once but last night I decided that we are starting with painting the kitchen. So since we were pretty much stuck at home with sick kids Ryan and I prepped the kitchen and tonight we painted! We still have lots more to do like...refinish the cabinets, back splash, hardware for the cabinets and whatever else pops up. But it is progress. I will keep you posted!

I just wanted to show some recent pictures of the kids. I haven't had any luck getting Kamryn's picture with her tongue sticking out. She hasn't really tried except for once. I don't think she understands since it has never gone further than her lip!  Hopefully I will get a picture soon so I can put up the before and after.

 This one is before the surgery...don't mind the crazy hair!

 Keegan's favorite thing to do....I need to get something to cover those wires. Strangulation hazard! Yikes!

 His second favorite thing to do...either his thumb or his toe....he doesn't care!

Kamryn's Surgery

Kamryn had her tongue tie surgery this morning and it went really well. I was very concerned about her going under anesthesia for such a small procedure  I didn't really start worrying until last night though. I could barely sleep. In the morning I asked Ryan to give her a blessing before we left. I had to be at the hospital with Kamryn at 6am this morning and she had surgery at 8am. By 6:15 we were in the pre-op room and then had to wait for quite a while. Kamryn was not very happy about all these weird people checking her out and being in this weir room. She watched some Barney, then some Toy Story 3 on my itouch.  She cried alot and the nurse kept checking on us and I told him we were okay because the only thing that was going to keep her from crying was getting out of there or food, which neither were something that would be a possibility. I got her to play with this toy and this became a lifesaver. She spent most of her time playing with it.
 I was so mad that I forgot my camera and had to use my phone camera...oh well.

Finally the surgeon and anesthesiologist came by and reassured me that the procedure would take five minutes or less and that she would only be lightly sedated so that she wouldn't try and move her mouth or bite down.

I almost lost it when the took her away. They had to pry her away because she didn't want to go. I felt so bad. Hopefully she isn't traumatized from the whole experience. I went out into the waiting room and gave Ryan an update. He had to stay back and get Kade off to school. He was on his way there. No longer than 10 minutes after they took her back the surgeon was back to tell me they were done and everything went well. He just said to not give her salt since she basically had a canker sore under her tongue.

Ten minutes later (which actually felt like an hour) they came and got me and took me back to post-op where she was screaming. She calmed down right when I got her in my arms but not much later was crying because she just wanted to go. I was able to calm her down for a little bit but as soon as they wheeled in another child and she saw the surgery team she started crying again. I think she thought they were going to take her again. She was glad to leave and get out of there! When we left  the post-op area Ryan and Keegan were there waiting for us.


Here she is happy to be in the car and go home! We were all so hungry and stopped at Denny's for some breakfast!
I will post before and after pictures once her mouth is better and she shows me that tongue!

 

D-backs fan fest and V-day!

Saturday we took the kids to the Diamondback's Fan Fest! The kids had a lot of fun. They had bouncers and the company Ryan works for is a sponsor so we were able to see a few of his co-workers.  Here are a few pictures from our day!

Even Keegan had a D-backs shirt on!

 I thought I got a pic with Kamryn and her stickers but I guess I didn't.  She ended up with a rash where her stickers were...

**********Valentines Day! ************

 Don't these look delicious??? They are! This is what Ryan got me for Valentine's Day even though last week I asked and I thought we agreed that we weren't doing presents this year. Oh well we BOTH got to enjoy them! Thanks hunny you know me so well!

The kids got spoiled with gifts in the mail from grandparents and then I ended up not having to work so Ryan and I put the kids to bed and then spent the rest of the night eating our strawberries and catching up on our favorite shows on the DVR! I know so romantic...at least I wasn't at work and I got to spend some time with Ryan!

I found this in CJ's bed....either he stole it from Kamryn or Kamryn wanted to give CJ a nice treat! I am betting on the first one...

The kids!

Keegan and Kamryn are starting to play more and more. They get mad at each other for taking eachothers toy. Neither of them really know how to share yet. Kamryn tells him No No and he laughs at her.

Ms. Crazy Hair this morning!

Look at me mom!

Today Kade was looking at Keegan and said, "Mom, that's my shirt when I was a baby." he must have remembered seeing pictures of himself in the same outfit.

Poor buddy had a fall this morning and got a little carpet burn! :(

 The new table. It has chalkboard paint on top!

 I hate the flash because my kids always blink when I try and take their picture!

 Keegan is already pullhg himsefl up to stand..YIKES!

Last but not least today Kade told me, "I want Kamryn to be big so we can fight!" Oh great! They already wrestle and I can barely handle that!

 

Little reminders

Everyday I have little things that remind me of Kooper. Not everyday is it something that specifically represents him.  I have an account on babycenter.com. I have been on babycenter since before I became pregnant with Kade. You put in the dates or due dates of you children and then they have birth boards for the month and year that your baby is due so you can ask questions and compare things to other moms throughout the baby years. So after Kooper died I went to the stillbirth boards to find comfort. Comfort in knowing that someone else understood what I had gone through. What I found was not that. Many, not all but many didn't have much belief of the afterlife or their belief's weren't strong. So these boards ended up not doing me much good because their feelings were so different then mine although we still stood on some common ground.  So after that I never followed the birth boards much. I couldn't go to Kooper"s and see all these ladies complain about their baby because I would have given ANYTHING to have my baby not sleep a minute of the night. Although I very well know I would have been complaining if I was in their shoes. Being a Mom isn't easy.  I have entered Keegan and Kamryn's information in and every week I get an update about what they might be doing developmentally. I still get them for Kooper. It is one of those reminders.  Today i received a Huggies pamphlet not only for Kamryn but for Kooper too. It doesn't say his name on it but it is for the potty training years.

When I became pregnant with Kooper I signed up for Huggies coupons. You put in your information about your expected due date and start receiving samples and coupons. I still get them for Kooper. It doesn't really make me sad. Because lets be honest who wants to be potty training an almost 3 year old??? It's bittersweet because it reminds me of what could have been or would have been and what stage he would be in. But anytime I get a reminder that Kooper is real and that he is my baby it makes me happy.

Tonight as Kade was saying his prayers the first thing that he said was, "I'm thankful for Kooper." and then the last thing he said was, "I hope Kooper has awesome balloons!" (today we went to Chick-a-fillet and he and Kamryn got balloons and he kept talking about letting the balloons go to Kooper.) Before he said his prayers he was facing his Kooper monkey and I am pretty sure that reminded him of  his little brother.

Last night as I tucked Kade in to bed I had Keegan in my arms and I told Kade that in a few years he would be able to have a roommate, Keegan! And that Keegan could sleep on the pull-out trundle bed.  I told him that if Kooper were here and alive that he would be as big as Sara Jane and that he would be big enough to share a room and sleep in a big boy bed. He smiled and said, "But Mom, He's in heaven!" I smiled back thinking, I know, silly me!

Fun weekend

It is so weird when you go from blogging every day to blogging whenever you have make time to blog. I feel like I have missed out on documenting so many happenings from my weekend and I don't want to forget them. So lets start off with Thursday!

Thursday:
Keegan started crawling. He hasn't gotten much better or faster yet (which is definitely a good thing!). I thought for sure when I got back from Utah he would be all over the place but luckily he isn't going to fast only a few crawls and then he goes down to his tummy! Kade kinked his neck for the first time pretty bad. He just stayed on the couch all night trying not to move because it hurt. He asked me if I could give him a blessing and I told him I couldn't but I bet Daddy would when he got home from work. He started to cry and asked when Daddy would be home. I told him that if he wanted we could say a prayer in the meantime and he was satisfied with that, until he realized that just because you say a prayer it won't make the pain go away instantly!

Friday:
I left to go to Utah for my sisters baby shower. I took Kamryn along with me for a little girls weekend. I had a very neat experience. People always say it's a small world but I think that people are put in our paths for a reason.
Not too long after Kooper passed away I received an e-mail from a women in Utah that had a stillborn baby girl just months before I had Kooper. She will never know how much her e-mails meant to me. They inspired me and I only hoped that I could help others as much as she had helped me. She started a blog site that had links to other Angel Mommy blogs and there I was able to see others experiences and relate to them when I felt like I was the only person that was going through this. Little did I know how common stillbirth really was. So anyway back to the present. As I boarded on the airplane I began searching for an empty row so that someone could "choose" to sit by someone with a baby. As I was walking back someone who looks familiar says to me, "Are you Kooper's mom?" and I am sure my face lit up because it isn't very often that I get asked that. Actually I don't think I have ever been asked that. I immediately knew who she was even before I answered, "yes" and she told me, "I'm Savannah's mom!" She had a layover in Phoenix and we ended up on the same flight. It was so nice to talk to her in person. She is such a sweet girl and so pretty. She was also very nice to help me with Kamryn. Kamryn didn't do so well on the flight. She did okay but could have done better. Unfortunately we sat at the gate for 30 minutes before the plane even moved. It was also during Kamryn's nap time and I think it might have been bothering her ears a little bit. Luckily the flight wasn't too long. I wish it were longer and that I didn't have Kamryn because I could have talked to her for hours.

My Mom and little sister Ashley picked us up from the airport and we went to my favorite place to eat in Utah, Crown Burger. Then we did a little shopping which is always fun.

Saturday:
We  had Ashley's baby shower. It was a lot of fun to see lots of family many of them I hadn't seen in a while and I got to hold 2 cute little newborns! Oh how I wish my babies would stay that small forever! So sweet!

While I was having fun in Utah Ryan took Kade to Monster Jam, the monster truck show. They had a lot of fun. Ryan said next year the whole family is going to go!

Sunday:
We spent more time with family and then we had to wake up bright and early Monday morning at 3:30 am so that I could be at the airport in time for my 6:50am flight. Thanks Mom and Dad for waking up so early and driving me to the airport! Kamryn did a little better this time but I don't want to have to fly with her again anytime soon!

So that's it! It was a great weekend. Loved seeing my family. I can't wait for baby Maleaha to be born!

On the brain...

So I saw someone else put just a bunch of random thoughts from their brain as a blog post and I lvoed it so I copied her!

• Keegan is growing up too fast and soon he will be crawling and I am gonna be in trouble!
• My kids watch way too much TV.
• I am finding it really hard to choose healthy food over chocolate and cookies.
• I am obsessing over a new blog that I am afraid to share....it has ideas on refinishing furniture and I feel like if I will have an even harder time than I already am having finding some furniture to try and refinish. In case you are reading this and have furniture you want to get rid of...even if it's old I am looking for a twin size headboard, a table (to seat at least 6), end tables, and dressers. Funny thing is I have never "refinished" anything but it looks so good! I think I can do it.
• I feel like I am going to be buying diapers for the rest of my life. I see an end to formula in my near future but diapers seem so far away...probably at least 2 years...AT LEAST!
• I worry about pregnant people alot lately, especially since alot of my friends are pregnant. Even if I don't tell them, I do think about them often and pray that they will have a healthy baby.
• I wonder if Keegan will ever sleep through the night. We moved his crib into our room so that he can scream as loud as he wants and not wake Kamryn up....well I still find myself picking him up so I can sleep....not so good.
• I wish I could pay an interior designer to help me with colors to paint the walls. I am stumped.
• I wonder how much Kamryn's surgery will end up costing. She is having her tongue tie problem fixed.
• I really want some new couches. Ryan thinks that paying towards debts sounds like a better idea!
• I am jealous of my sister and friend Jenna, they are having girls.  I am feeling bad that Kamryn doesn't have a sister and I am not willing to risk it for another boy (I've already got 3, 4 if you count Ryan!). Yeah, I know that sounds really bad. Plus I AM DONE so I don't even know why it's on my mind. Probably because there are so many pregnant people and my baby is not little anymore!
• Kamryn doesn't like Goodwill. I went in to look for some furniture I talked about above and she screamed until we started to leave...EVERYBODY was staring...totally embarrassing.
• I found a fabric line that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and I really want to make Kamryn a quilt for her bed (that she doesn't have yet) so I can figure out the exact color I want to paint her room. Problem is I don't know how to quilt and how much fabric to get.
• My sister Ashley's baby shower. I am nervous to be leaving the kids. Not that Ryan isn't a great parent, I haven't left my kids since we left Kade for a few nights while we went to a wedding out of state.. I am super excited to see my sister one last time before she has her baby!
• Is Kade ever going to lose a tooth or is Keegan ever going to get a tooth?

Cute moments

Yesterday Kamryn was dancing around jabbering and I couldn't figure out what she was singing or doing with her hands and then it hit me. She was singing 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. My Dad started singing it to her when we were up in Utah and now it's her favorite song. She loves the bumped his head part! Please turn the volume down a little because I am singing! haha!!


Keegan started saying Dadadadada over and over the other day. So cute!

Sometimes when life is chaos...which is most of the time at our house I stop and think, Wow would it be crazy if Kooper were here. We would love it but life would be nuts. I wonder what he would be doing? Picking on his little sister? Getting into Kade's toys and messing it all up? Would Kade be nicer to Kamryn because Kooper was picking on her?

We are home!

We made it home early this morning. It was a long crazy drive on the snowy roads in Utah.  Kamryn had a short nap at the begining and then woke up and stayed awake watching Barney until almost 3:30am! We drove through the night hoping that the kids would sleep. Keegan and Kade did great...Kamryn just didn't want to be in the car at ALL!  We were sad to have to leave our family. We weren't more than 3 miles away when Kade said, "I miss my Grandma and Grandpa!" We love them so much and are so glad they were able to put up with the WHOLE family!

Here are a few pictures that I didn't get to post of our stay there...

 Kamryn is happy at first on the car ride to Utah!

 Kade and Kamryn got to open an early Christmas present on the way there! Kamryn got a Barney movie (her favorite!)

 Kade got a new DS game, Mario VS Donkey Kong!

 Keegan enjoyed playing with the case!

 Kamryn is so hard to entertain in the car. All she wants to do is get out of that seat! So I let her play with pretty much whatever she wants! Including my old ipod!

 Cousin Daion holding Keegan!

 My parents horse dog Harley chasing CJ.

 Of course we couldn't miss any of the USU basketball games! Go Aggies! The boys were so excited to meet BIG BLUE (their mascot)!

We made a trip up to Malad to visit my Grandparents. Only my Mom. sister Ashley, Keegan and I went because the boys had colds and my Grandma Alder has had some health problems and we didn't want to spread the germs!  So here is Keegan with his great grandma Alder.  I forgot to bring the camera in when we visited Grandma Williams.

 Kade and Daion may have fought like brothers during the day but at night they slept like they were best friends!

 Daion, Kamryn and Kade watching Shrek. Kamryn wouldn't go anywhere without those necklaces! She only took them off to bathe and sleep!

When we got home Santa left a present for Kamryn at our house. He must have known we couldn't bring it back from Utah!

Playing in the snow!

Kade and Kamryn had so much fun playing in the snow while we were in Utah! This was Kamryn's first time actually playing in the snow.These first few pictures are from the day after we got to Utah. There was a little snow. The darn rain melted it the next day though.  So we had a BROWN Christmas!

Kamryn

Kade

Little Marshmallow girl!

Daion

Tasia and Kamryn

The day we left we woke up to snow! So the kids got to play in it one last time! It was pretty cold! Here is Kamryn and Grandpa on the four wheeler. They pulled Kade and Daion who were on the sled behind them. Kamryn didn't last long...