Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my Dad's birthday! I love him so much. I am so thankful for him being such a great dad. He has always been there for me and is such a nice guy. He is such a loving and giving person. I look up to him and couldn't ask for a better Dad.

Thanks for always being there, for all that you do, and most of all for being my Dad.

I love you!

Mommy Brain

This is the day I usually post about a memory...well my brain won't spit anything out right now and I know why...lately I can't remember anything. I have had the worst Mom brain lately. The past few weeks I have put something down and seconds later can't find it. I usually blame it on Kamryn because her new thing is picking up whatever she can and taking it somewhere else. I find random things all throughout the house. Almost 100 percent of the time I find what I am looking for and it definitely wasn't her that moved it, I just forgot where I put it. I don't know if I just have so much on my mind lately or if there is no more room in my brain or what is going on, but hopefully it starts to get better because I feel so stressed when I can't find things.

For example we are on the hunt for Kade's backpack. Right now I am blaming Ryan because I swear I put it on the ledge between the playroom and living room. He says he didn't move it. I mostly believe him and I am sure tomorrow I will find it and I probably put it wherever it is and forgot I put it there!

Which leads in to my memory. I have lost two things in my life that I will never forget that I lost and I NEVER found and I still wonder what happened to them.

First thing: My doll Camera (don't remember how it was spelled). I got her for Christmas when I was 2. My favorite Cabbage Patch doll. She had the bean bag bum even...I with they still made them like that.

Second thing: My blanket. I think this was made by my Grandma Alder. (Mom please correct me if I'm wrong....actually you probably don't remember who made it, especially if your brain is anything like mine). I loved this blanket and one day I went to look for it and it was gone. (I had to scan these pictures from my scrapbook that I put together when I was 12.)

Strangely enough I lost both of these things as a little girl and still remember searching for them...

Turning to the Lord

Today's lesson in church was close to my heart. The stories in the talk sounded so familiar. Then I realized that it was a talk I read shortly after losing Kooper. I can't remember what it was called (I tried searching for it on LDS.org but couldn't seem to find it). It talked about a story of 2 people who lost babies and one couple fell away from the church and blamed Heavenly Father and the other couple turned to Heavenly Father in their time of need. I am so lucky and glad that my heart wasn't hardened and that although at one point I was mad that Heavenly Father took my baby and I questioned why did it have to happen to me, I quickly knew what I needed to do. I turned to the Lord. I prayed all the time and read the scriptures to find comfort. My testimony on the power of prayer grew so much because I was always praying. I was so sad and heartbroken at the loss of Kooper that it was all that I could do was to pray. As much as I wanted to share my story with the other women in the class, I am still shy and my voice gets shaky, and I knew I would start to cry and that nobody would understand me. Then I worried I would take up too much time and just chickened out. So I didn't. It was such a good lesson though.

I love this ultrasound picture because Kooper is making a funny facial expression. Sometimes losing him feels like it was all just a bad dream. When I see this picture it reminds me that he was alive and that he was a person and that he is my baby. I can't wait to see him again someday. I love you Kooper! I picture him thinking, I want my mommy!

Another thing that got brought up during the lesson was journaling. I am so glad that I started to blog even though sometimes I embarrass my family with my stories, but I am glad I have it documented. I wish so badly that I would have started blogging or journaling before I had Kooper so that I could have a better memory of my pregnancy and the short time I got to spend with him doing flips in my belly.

Temper, Temper

Although Kade looks like Ryan's mini me, Kade did get some of my genes, He has a temper...oh wait Ryan does too. Let's just say that when we are really mad and lose our temper, we like to slam things...and yesterday Kade slammed his door into the wall.

I couldn't get too mad, because I put a few holes in the wall as a kid with my door, unfortunately my door knob as a kid was a big round one so mine left a bigger hole!

First NFL game!

Last night was a first for me, I went to my first NFL football game. It was a lot of fun. Wednesday night I get a phone call from Ryan that one of his co-workers who happen to have tickets to the Cardinals game couldn't go because he was sick and wanted Ryan to have them. They were playing the Redskins (my Dad's favorite NFL team). I immediately called my Dad just in case he wanted to go badly enough to fly down to Phoenix. I bet if it wasn't a preseason game he might have. So anyways I scrambled to find a babysitter and find Kade a ride home from soccer practice and off Ryan and I went on a date to the Cardinals game! It was lots of fun! Thanks hunny for a fun night!

Of course I forgot the camera so I had to use my phone. This was the view we had up in the Cox Suite.

I will add the pic that Ryan and I took of ourselves later, if it looks ok.

Little Mama

I love it how Kamryn walks around with her doll. Or that she goes into my closet and grabs my empty purses (because I have to use the diaper bag all the time) and throws them over her shoulder. Love it!

Little Aggie!

I forgot about this cute romper my Mom bought for Kade when he was a baby. It is so cute. I love the butt! Keegan will probably only fit in it for a short time. It probably would have fit when he was 1 month old! It's not too tight he is just so long that if he gets any longer it won't fit! He has rolled from his stomach to his back 4 times now. I know he doesn't know he is doing it, but it is a good sign that he will soon be doing it, which I don't know if I am ready for a baby that can roll. Sometimes it seems like he should be older than almost 3 months old. I don't want him to grow and get even bigger, although it will be nice when he can play with Kamryn and they can entertain each other!

GO AGGIES!