My little MONKEY!

8 months goes by so fast. It feels like yesterday that I was in the hospital holding my Kooper. I can hardly believe that today he would have been 8 months old! I miss him so much I can hardly find words. Yesterday morning I was talking to a relative of another Angel Mommy. As she told the story of her granddaughter It brought back so many memories of my experience and I just started crying. I tell my patients at work about my kids all the time and that I am a proud Mom to 2 soon to be 3 wonderful kids. I let them know what happened to Kooper some dig further and ask for details others say I'm sorry and we move on. But He is and always will be apart of my everyday life. I am proud to be his Mom. It was just so weird to me that it was any other day and I guess hearing a friends story again that was so similar to mine just brought back the memories so vividly. Kooper is such a blessing to our family. He is loved and missed so much.

On Monday we went to visit our friends, RD and Jenna. We weren't able to be with them to celebrate RD's birthday, so we visited Monday and went to lunch. As we walked in to Red Robin I was holding there sweet little Sarah Jane. It made me think about how I could honestly be this pregnant with my almost 8 month old and then be chasing after my almost 4 year old. HOW CRAZY! I don't know how some of you women do it.

I love and miss you my little Monkey!



This is the monkey that is on his headstone and also his Memorial cards/program. I LOVE IT!

Fridays

Today I am feeling very lonely. Yes I will be spending time with my sweet husband and funny boy tonight, but sometimes it just really feels like someone important is missing. I think that I get that way especially when something doesn't go the way that I want it to. When I am somewhat disappointed that it didn't work out I look back on how and why my life sucks and then I realize that I have so many blessings. It's kind of like when you have had the worst day ever and then you get home and your child smiles at you, or your dog just runs up and starts licking your face because he can tell you are sad. I just want to hold my little boy.I don't want to do a poor me rant because I am lucky. I don't have to worry about Kooper I know he is in the best place ever and that I will be with him again. I don't have to worry about him going to school and getting with the wrong group of friends or worry he will fall away from the church. He will be there waiting for me and it's up to me to fulfill my end of the bargain so we can be together again. I worry constantly what the future holds for Kade. I hope he has the desire to have good friends,eventually go on a mission and to be married in the temple. Although Kooper is in a better place now I still miss my baby so much today. I wish I were doing this.... (wellnot exactly but holding my Kooper, you get the point)


Thursday nights and the days of Friday can still be hard for me. I went into the hospital on a Thursday night and had Kooper on Friday. Every Friday when I look at the clock I think of the time that I got to spend with him. I miss him so much. He is a blessing to our family and has made me a better person and a better Mom.

I just have to share a funny comment Kade made the other day. We were walking around in Sam's Club and got to the clothes. Kade picked up a little girls outfit and held it up to my belly and said, "Kamryn, do you like this?" and then a few seconds later looked at me and said, "Yep, she does."

I am off to go pick up Kade from daycare. I am sure he will fulfill that empty feeling when he runs up screaming "Mommy!"

Silly dogs...

Our dog CJ has been able to get out from under the gate leading into the backyard. Well about a month ago Ryan used his new tools he got for Christmas and cut a piece of wood so that even when he dug in the dirt he wasn't going to be able to get out. He has now gone to the other side of the house and he sticks his head out the hole for drainage and barks! At first when I heard the barking I thought he had found a way out because it is right by the front door. Much to my surprise I found him like this.

Guessed a girl?

Lori is the winner! She guessed correctly and was the random number I picked! The prize is this 4x6 frame that I decoupaged. It was fun to make. I just bought a unpainted wooden from at Michael's and some coordinating scrapbook paper and decoupaged the paper on. I added embellishments, SUPER EASY!

Belly picture!

I forgot to include the belly picure! This was taken this morning before my appointment. Yesterday the check-out lady at Michaels asked me when I was having my baby. I told her June and she seemed surprised. I guess maybe you just POP more when you get pregnant 3 months after you just had a baby!

Oh boy, Oh boy!

We got to the doctors office today and the first thing the ultrasound tech said was that he would make measurements of everything and then he would look for the gender if we would like to know. Of course we said we wanted to know. And right when he put the doppler or whatever it's called on my tummy it was the money shot. He pulled it off for a second and said, "Well, do you want to know now?" And I said, "sure!" He put it back on my belly and I said, "IT'S A GIRL!" I have seen what boys look like and it sure wasn't a boy! So yes the Perry family is finally getting a girl! We are so excited! My Mom, Kade and sister-in-law Jeni were right from the begining. Ryan was a little sad he wasn't getting another boy, but we are just so happy that our little Kamryn looks perfect! She is measuring right on track and she looks healthy!


Here she is waving HI!

I am working on the prize today. I was going to do it last night, but I couldn't find a brush for the life of me to paint, so I am making it today and will reaveal it along with the winner later today or tomorrow. Depends on how long it takes me.

GIRL POWER! I never thought I would have any girls, so I am excited to be making bows and all the fun girly stuff!

POLL: What will the gender of the next member of the Perry family be??

We are having an ultrasound on Tuesday morning! We are so excited!

I have started a poll. It's located on the right hand side of my blog at the top. Vote for the gender of our baby!! We wanna know what YOU think! The poll will close at 8:00am on Tuesday morning. Also after you vote post a comment below and let me know what your answer is and I will randomly pick a winner (who voted for the correct gender) and send them a prize. I haven't figured out what it will be yet, but it will be cute probably something crafty! So put your vote in now and tune in on Tuesday morning. The appointment is at 7:30 so I will update you all as soon as we get home! Let's hope that this baby isn't too shy!

Too bad I don't have a cool phone with internet so I could update seconds after!