Perry Family

Potty Time!

2012-01-31T03:43:00.000-07:00

So last night before I went to work Kamryn ripped of her diaper and started running around. I chased her around trying to get the diaper back on her. She really doesn't like diapers but when I tell her, "Okay, if you don't want to wear a diaper then you have to go potty in the toilet." She lets me put the diaper on her. So today when I threatened her with having to go potty on the toilet she said, "Ok" like it was no big deal and she does it everyday. So we walked to the bathroom and she sat down on the toilet. She had a drink, brushed her teeth, read a book and talked to me as I fixed my hair. I kept asking if she had peed yet, still nothing. Then all of a sudden I smell something....I thought, Nice she is farting...then I look in the toilet and to my surprise she pooped! We applauded her and she got a cookie. She was so happy and proud of herself. I made her sit back down and try and pee but it was then time for me to go to work so that was enough for the day. I wish I had the week off work to really work with her on her potty skills since she is finally showing more interest. Later this month I have almost a whole week off that I was planning on being "potty training week" Hopefully she is still willing to try by then. I am considering trying to get Keegan potty trained that week too!. Is that torture or should I just wait? We will see I guess. Wouldn't that be nice to not have to buy diapers anymore???!

Silly Girls

2012-01-29T15:45:00.001-07:00

The other night Kamryn and I played photo booth. She is one silly girl! I love her!

January Catch-up post

2012-01-27T21:14:00.001-07:00

So I have been soooo horrible at blogging. I will try and get better… Here are some random pictures from our month so far….Sorry Kade, don’t feel neglected, but when I try and take your pictures you tell me your allergic to cameras….so it’s your own fault I don’t have very many pictures of you! I still love you though!

My handsome kade. He has been such a helper and is doing great in school. I can’t even remember the last time he hasn’t come home with a green light, which used to be a struggle. I am so proud of him. He is the sweetest boy!After running errands all day Keegan and Kamryn were pooped. Thought they looked cute…Keegan was licking the bath water…A few weeks ago They were in the bath and Kamryn was right behind Keegan with her face in the water and I look over and Keegan is peeing and then kamryn sits up and said, YUM! She didn’t know he was peeing in the water…Maybe it’s time for seperate baths??? One day while the kids were playing in Keegan’s room it got real quiet…I had to go see what was going on…. Keegan is a little gymnast…he loves to swing on the lower clothes rack…he has a strong core!

Kamryn’s favorite hiding place is in the pantry…

Our Last Day in Utah

2012-01-11T21:19:00.001-07:00

Keegan, Daion, Kade and Kamryn all cuddled up watching cartoons.

Our last day there we took the kids to the Fun Park to ply and Roller Blade.

Kamryn overcame her fear of big playground enclosed slides while we were there.

Then we stopped at Big J’s in Richmond to get some Tots and of course FRY SAUCE! Yumm! Kamryn loves ice cream so when she found out Aunt Ashley had some she knew who her new best friend would be! Right behind Kamryn is our rental car. It was a 2011 Dodge Durango and in case you are wondering….it was nice, wish I could afford one of those!

Wish we were back in Utah with family. We love and miss you all!

Christmas in Utah

2012-01-11T21:09:00.001-07:00

We had a great time in Utah. The only thing missing was SNOW! It didn’t snow but a skiff on one of the first days we got there. And then it rained and melted the crusted snow that wasn’t even soft enough to play in. Oh well we had so much fun visiting with our family that the snow didn’t really matter after all! Keegan cuddling with Grandma Keren and CJ in his little Christmas sweater! They sure love Grandpa, he gives them all kinds of treats and does power slams onto the bed. We even saw some deer while we were there!

Christmas Eve my Mom made some Yummy soup that Ryan thinks I need to learn how to make. I told my mom that she should just make a couple batches when she visits and then I can freeze it so I don’t have to learn to make it….can you tell i love to cook? Above Kamryn and Daddy playing games on the iphone and itouch.Santa had to move all the presents into the living room so there would be room for his presents for all the kids. Notice the tree missing some lights. I am pretty sure that the lights partiallen went out when Keegan knocked over the tree! Christmas morning my Dad woke us up at 7am. When I was growing up It was the opposite. We were waking him up at 4am!

Some of the kids presents minus all their clothes. They sure enjoyed them all!

The look on his face is so cute, I wish I would have got a better shot. I forgot to get a picture of it, but he got the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with all the characters. He was pretty impressed since it is his favorite show to watch.

After opening presents and having breakfast we went to church. Ryan ended up catching some sort of 24 hour Flu bug so after Church he disappeared for the rest of the night. Meanwhile the kids had fun playing with their new toys.

When we werent sure where Keegan had snuck of too he was either climbing down the stairs to go play in the basement with the toys or in Daion’s room playing cars. He woudl just line them up.

On Christmas Day I found him in the bathroom….. He loved playing with Maleaha, it was like having a little sister to pick on! Of course little sisters always get you back! Here is Kamryn’s dollhouse all put together with the room sets she got for Christmas. I think I had more fun with it then she did! She still loves to play with it and so does her brothers. And of course there is hardly ever any furniture in the house. It’s usually on her floor.

This picture is blurry, but I had to share it. Keegan was trying to actually get both his feet inside the mini van that goes to the dollhouse. He did get them both in at one point and then fell down crying.

New Year!

2012-01-11T21:07:00.001-07:00

I am back to blogging. That was a long break (for me anyway). I wanted to blog but since I got my iphone I have barely been on my computer.I was also hoping to get pictures from Christmas from Ryan’s phone onto the computer and it still hasn’t happened so I am just going to do it with what I have got.

It’s been crazy lately, just before Christmas I was in a car accident and luckily none of us had to go to the hospital but our car was totaled and we were supposed to be leaving for Utah in less than a week. At the time we hadn’t confirmed that our car was totaled so we had to rent a car in the meantime and luckily it all worked out so we could take the rental to Utah. So between finding a new car, getting settled back into a routine, going to doctors appointments and everything else it’s been crazy stressful! I am the type of person that keeps filling all these little worries and bothers in a cup and then the littlest thing fills up the rest of my cup and it just spills right over. I really need to work on that. Luckily recently as I sensed the fullness I decided to pray, because I knew that no one else could really do anything besides listen to me complain and really who wants to listen, (by the way sorry Mom and Ryan for always having to listen to it!) Sometimes I like using my blog as an outlet because once it’s written down it is almost a relief and I can move on. Some things that have been adding to my cup that I have wanted to get out

I miss Kooper. Lately I have had moments where I am upset that I didn’t get to fight and plead for his life. Some people get a chance to plead to heavenly father to spare the life of their child.

I am sad that Kooper would have been a SUNBEAM in church. He would be a big boy that goes to Primary! It makes me sad.

I never thought I was attached to my car and the funny thing is we ended up buying the exact same year, and color of car so unless you are familiar with some of the little differences in my car you would never know I got a new one. But my old car had so many memories in it. I was pregnant with Kooper when we got it. I carried his car seat around in it. I drove to many doctors appointments in it. I drove myself to the hospital in it and then followed the hearse that carried him to the cemetery in it. It’s a weird feeling but I feel like I lost more of Kooper in losing my car. I felt the same way about our house when we moved. I am sure I will soon get over it.

I see all the people who are dealing with cancer and it saddens me. It scares me because after Kooper it really opened my eyes and I no longer have that voice in my head saying. “It won’t happen to me.” because it can and it does. I just have to remind myself that it is all in God’s plan and I just have to have faith. So I just have to have faith that there is a reason I didn’t get to fight for Kooper to stay and that he didn’t have to suffer.

Sometimes when I am getting annoyed with my kids or frustrated when they wake up every hour at night screaming that life it too short and if given the option to have my son here with us meant I would be up every hour on the hour for the rest of my life than I would take it. He would be worth it. So my kids that are actually here with me need to be worth it.

When I hear them giggling in Keegan’s room and go to check it out and find this…

What did I do? Laughed! Even thought they could easily break the crib with all the weight of them jumping. I laugh because I am just so thankful to have them here with me and they are HEALTHY. I thank God every day for healthy kids. They may not be perfect but I love them no matter what, they are mine! They are my pride and joy and I would do ANYTHING for them.

I was relieved that Heavenly Father was answering my prayers. He answered them in someone's testimony in church on Sunday, in a blog post about how sometimes we get sad and that it’s normal. We are not “super moms”. And then this morning when I talked to a friend who at the young age of 18 with a full ride volleyball scholarship right in front of her got in a terrible accident leaving her a 3% chance of living. She wasn’t supposed to be able to walk, but did. Hearing her outlook on life and realizing that even though life seems to be getting tough and isn’t exactly how I want it to be, that I am pretty lucky to not only be alive and healthy, but have a wonderful husband and loving children to be with everyday. I am so thankful for my parents and all that they sacrificed and did for me growing up and that they still do for me today.

So here is to a new year! I am not sure what this year has in store for me but I am looking forward to spending time with my family and being happy!

Pre-Christmas Present

2012-01-11T16:51:00.001-07:00

Since we didn’t have a lot of room to pack gifts in the car we let the kids open a present from each other the night before we left for Utah. Ryan and I even opened toys that were in boxes to condense down the amount of room that gifts would take up.

Keegan got a mop, broom and swiffer kit. HE LOVES IT. He still likes to use mine though. Kade got a DS Game to play in the car. Kamryn got a pink cash register to play “store” with.

The next day we headed for Utah and had a pretty uneventful drive up there. It did snow a little which freaked me out a little because I haven’t driven in snow in YEARS! I was so worried I was going to hit black ice or something. Luckily we made it safe and sound!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

I am not the greatest at sending out Christmas cards. So I decided I am going to send out an e-card this year. I got out the digital scrapbooking stuff and came up with this! Merry Christmas to you all! Love the Perry's!

Busy Day!

2011-12-11T23:14:00.001-07:00

We had a great day Saturday. At the spur of the moment we decided to meet the Burningham’s at Encanto Park.

One of the favorite rides of the day…Sumner, some random kid, Kade and SaraJane (Kamryn was on there somewhere). RD, Jenna, and Sadie on the train. This is a time when Keegan was the happiest on this ride…he loves to be thrown in the air but spin him in circles and he is not so sure about it! SaraJane and Kamryn Sorry there are so many with Kamryn on the roller coaster. She is her mother’s daughter. I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS! She is a timid shy little girl, but a daring little girl! She went on that so many times and loved it! Kade enjoyed the motor bumper boats a lot…and seeing his girlfriend. Before we went to meet them he was sooo excited to see his girlfriend! Oh boy!

We went to dinner at Red Robin and then went over to the Mesa LDS Temple to see the Temple lights. My handsome hubby and Keegan!

Kamryn loved the Star at the Nativity scene. Our Family

The Burninghams

It was such a fun day but really wore everyone out!

Chimian

2011-12-11T22:38:00.001-07:00

I have heard all about this Elf on the Shelf CRAZE and I knew that this could really help me have more sanity because kids always seem to get crazier around the holidays with all the excitement and probably sugar! Kade has been pushing me to the limit! I told him about this Elf that Santa could send to peoples houses to help keep track of who was naughty and who was nice. Right then and there Kade said he would never want one of those EVER! So when he would have his meltdowns and talk back I would threaten to ask Santa to send us an Elf. Well by Friday night I had it with all of his little tantrums and decided it was time. Luckily the cartoon was on TV again so I made sure to record it and Saturday morning I excitedly asked Kade if he wanted to watch a Christmas cartoon. Of course he wanted to and he enjoyed it. Little did he know that an Elf would soon visit him! I was so lucky and when i called Santa he said he had just one more on the shelf! Kade went to T-ball and when he got back home he found a package under the tree with a book in it…and an Elf sitting in the tree. He was in denial and wasn’t very happy about this Elf. We read the book and the kids loved it. Kade kept telling me, “He’s plastic mom! He’s a fake!” I reminded him that he got his magic after we named him and that he won’t show us he is real because it is Santa’s Law. He kept saying, “This Elf is REALLY freaking me out!” So he finally decided on a name. Chimian. Not sure where he got it! Hopefully he does his job. So far he has a helped a little! I really don’t think Kamryn completely gets it, because I don't think she remembers what happens on Christmas morning. I think next year Chimian will be my BEST FRIEND though, especially while dealing with her!

Love Saturdays!

2011-12-04T21:09:00.001-07:00

We had a great day yesterday. It is starting to really cool down. Kade had a t-ball game.

Keegan always wants to go out on the field and play! He can’t wait until he is old enough. Daddy and Kamryn waiting in line for some hot chocolate! Kade just got a great hit! Below is a video of him at his game earlier this week. He likes to slide at EVERY base!

Then later we went and put up Kooper’s tree at the Cemetery.

Later that night we had some fun with M&M’s. Kamryn understood what to do but could care less about completing the wreath, she just wanted to eat them!

The Last Straw

2011-12-02T13:12:00.001-07:00

I have a drawer in the changing table/dresser that is in Keegan’s room that still holds some of Kooper’s things because I don’t have anywhere else to put them. I want to get a chest but still haven’t. I will someday when I find one I like. Anyhow my friend Jenna and I made piggy banks for Kooper and SaraJane while we were pregnant with them. They turned out so cute! Well I really don't want it to get broken so I had it sitting up on top of the dresser and over time clothes got piled up on the dresser and as I was FINALLY getting around to putting them away I saw the piggy bank and it made me miss my baby so much. I was longing for him. It matched his room perfectly.

Side note; Because I am superstitious I have never been able to buy Kamryn or Keegan a piggy bank before they were born. I did buy Kade one before he was born but it took me over a year to buy Kamryn one, and Keegan still doesn’t have one! I mean to buy him one but I just never think of it until I am out of a store or when I do they don’t have any I like.

Always around the holidays you miss the ones you love most. Although It is such a happy time with Christmas spirit filling the air. When your loved ones have passed on, it feels like someone is missing. I know and I feel that they are here in spirit during those special time or times that you really need them, but it would be so much better if they were physically here! I am used to not seeing my Grandma Alder very often since we live so far away but I am thinking about the cards she would send and the Thank you notes and how she was always so sweet in them and I am going to miss that this year. I am going to miss her when we visit my Grandpa.

So with all these emotions whirling around me, last night as I found a book to read to Kade before he went to bed I came across a book we received one year for Christmas, The Last Straw by Paula Palangi McDonald. It is a great story about a family with 4 kids that can’t seem to stop fighting and being mean to each other so the Mom finds a way for the kids to be nice and serve one another and fill their home with Christmas Spirit. As I read the last page to Kade (You will have to read it to truly know why my heart melted) I started to cry as I read it aloud to him. My heart was warmed and I only hope that my kids will grow to show the same love to their siblings even though at times they really don’t like each other. Kade was somewhat concerned as to why in the world I was crying. I tried to explain, but only a Mother would know!

I miss my baby a lot. This time of year especially reminds me of how much I wish he were here, more than usual anyway. But it helps that this special season reminds me of God’s love for us and for the miracle that he sent to this earth so that the ultimate sacrifice could be made. What a wonderful time of year it is, especially to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas and to find the Christmas spirit within our hearts and share it with everyone, not just our family.

Thanksgiving Day

2011-11-27T10:44:00.001-07:00

I put sponge curlers in Kamryns hair. The curls didn’t last long though! Darn!

The Dunn family invited us over for Thanksgiving this year. The kids had a blast playing in the sandbox in their backyard. They enjoyed the delicious dinner too and then lots more playing!

The kids table.

Kade with a mouth full of food! Keegan had his Lion’s jersey on…too bad they lost! Sorry hunny! He sure did LOVE my Jell-O, that’s almost the only thing he ate. All the kids are just like there mom and don’t like mashed potatoes. I thought at least one of them would. Dylan and Kamryn

We realized we didn’t have any pictures of us from Thanksgiving so on our drive home I snapped a picture…haha notice Ryan is such a great driver he didn’t take his eyes off the road!

Then I got to do what I love most about Thanksgiving (since I am not a huge fan of traditional Thanksgiving food) SHOP! I love black Friday shopping. It’s fun, especially when you get to go with friends! I got a bunch of shopping done and got some great deals too!

Beautiful Day

2011-11-26T21:27:00.001-07:00

The day after Thanksgiving was so nice. We spent some time at the park and then did a little shopping and even put up the Christmas lights.

Pooped

2011-11-23T21:24:00.001-07:00

After dragging the kids around doing errands practically all day, by the time we got home they were all passed out in the back seat and all continued to nap once we got inside, which is a rarity after waking up!

Thanksgiving Concert

2011-11-22T10:45:00.001-07:00

Today Kade had a Thanksgiving Concert at school. He begged me to wear his church clothes. He really wanted to wear a tie. I didn’t want him to wear his church clothes because I knew he would end up ruining them at recess. So I finally gave in but only if he promised to change his clothes after the program. Luckily he agreed and I hope he follows through with his end of the deal! They sang a cute Turkey version of the Hokey Pokey! I loved it!

Twins?

2011-11-16T12:43:00.001-07:00

The other day while I was at Sam’s Club an older lady asked if Kamryn and Keegan were twins. I think there is still an obvious age difference between them but not for too long.

Here are some of the recent trouble that these two have been getting into.

Rolling on the pumpkins we never got around to carving….

Such a sweet sister! A kiss and a hug! What a rude big sister. How do I get her to stop hitting? Don’t worry Keegan got back at her later when she fell asleep on the floor! The worst part about it is that she thinks it’s funny…look at his poor little face?! Time out for Kamryn!

Kamryn is obcessed with this jacket…she didn’t take it off all day yesterday! Can you believe this kid at the entire apple? Not the core obviously. What a big boy!

Christmas Tree Skirt

2011-11-14T17:03:00.001-07:00

I have been without a tree skirt for Kooper’s tree for a few years. The first year I used a white sheet around it. Then last year I didn’t use anything. This year I found a great tutorial on a ruffled tree skirt and I loved the look, so I might even make another one for my big tree! My sister and Mom wanted to know how I did it so i thought I would post it on my blog. Here is the link to the tutorial: Ruffled Tree Skirt

I just got an old sheet out of my closet and traced my current tree skirt with a magic marker and then cut it out. It was a very thin sheet and I worried it wouldn’t be a think enough material but it worked out great.

Then I have some white sheets that I had laying around from a bed that we no longer have in that size and I cute 3 inch strips. I found a sponge that was 3 inches long and used that as I cut so I had a visual. My lines weren't straight but once you put it on you can’t really tell.

I left the edges raw, so they will fray a little. I think it gives it a vintagey look if that’s a word…

So I did mine a little differently. I decided to do straight stick (I did mine by hand) which helped it stay synched.

I did a ruffle all the way to the top and hot glued the top of the ruffle to the back of the sheet so you can’t see the synches.

I also didn’t do ribbon to tie bows. I am just going to lay it down the way I want it.

Can’t think of any other tips, if you have any questions for when you make yours leave a message or e-mail me.

Skipping naptime

2011-11-12T17:51:00.001-07:00

This is what happens in the evening when instead of napping you play during naptime…

First T-ball game of 2011

2011-11-08T08:49:00.001-07:00

My parents were able to come before they drove back home to Utah. We miss them so much and wish they could have stayed longer!

Happy Halloween

2011-11-01T09:29:00.001-07:00

We had some costume drama at our house….with a 2 year old! I am in for it if she is already concerned about what to wear. She didn’t want to wear her Rapunzel costume, so I put one of Kade’s old Buzz Lightyear costumes on her. She didn’t like that for more than 10 minutes. I think she was hot. She wanted to wear her boots so she was Daisy Duke or as most people called her a cowgirl! Keegan didn’t like his costume very much so he was a football player instead with shoulder pads and all!

The kids had a great time. Kamryn wasn’t very shy at all. She loved seeing all the scary decorations and repeated over and over, “Ooohhh that’s scary!” and “Ewwww that scared me!” she screamed a few times and even started to cackle like a witch! Kade was an awesome big brother and was very patient about waiting for his little brother and sister. He loved all the scary houses.

When he got back he was passing out candy and when they would come to the door he was giving them each 4 pieces so I told him he couldn’t do that or we would run out too soon. So when people came to the door he would be looking out the window and before they even got up to the porch he would say, “Happy Halloween, You can only pick one!”

Go Titans!

2011-10-29T15:26:00.001-07:00

Today was Kade’s last Flag football game. Grandma and Grandpa Williams got here early this morning and were able to come watch Kade play. This whole season Kade has mostly been in defense, he had played running back in another game but at the beginning of the season it was like pulling teeth when it came time to actually play in a game. For a few of the games he sat out the first half because he didn’t want to play and then of course he would end up having fun. Today he got to play running back again. He was so happy afterwards and he did a great job!

Grandpa swinging Keegan Here is the offensive team coach, letting Kade know that he is going to be running the ball the next time they go in.Kamryn sweet talked Grandpa into a snow cone!

Here he is getting the ball handed off to him.

Getting their trophies.

Way to go TITANS!

Football is now over and next week we are onto T-ball!

Trunk or Treat

2011-10-29T15:08:00.001-07:00

Our ward had a Halloween party at the church last night. Kade has been looking forward to Friday ever since they announced it in Primary. Here are a few pictures before the Trunk or Treat. Surprisingly Kamryn wore here hair during part of it.

Here is a dress rehearsal for Kamryn with her wig. I got the idea from here. I did do some things differently like braids within braids and I used hot glue to glue the yarn onto the panty hose.

This girl doesn’t like to have her picture taken very much. Can you tell? She is always scowling! Originally Kamryn didn’t want to wear her dress when it was time to get ready. She wanted to wear her shorts and cowgirl boots. Luckily Kade talked her into wearing her princess shoes! What a nice brother! Kade making is mustache fall off…and making his sister smile! What a comedian!

Dopey

2011-10-28T14:02:00.001-07:00

I have wanted to dress Keegan up as Dopey one of the Dwarfs from Snow White because he looks so much like him. About a month ago it was on TV and I though of Keegan every time I saw Dopey!

Well I still hadn’t worked out what Keegan was going to be for Halloween and tonight is the Trunk or Treat, so I found one of Ryan’s old green shirts, grabbed an old brown shirt of mine and grabbed one of Kamryn’s old purple shirts and in 30 minutes I had my home-made costume…it looks like it took me more than 30 minutes but not too much more! hah

I still have a few finishing touches….but here is his first fitting.

I bribed him with a cookie….

But it didn’t last long….there goes the hat!He hates hats!

Kamryn volunteered to try it on for me…

Great Job Kade!

2011-10-28T13:23:00.001-07:00

Today was an awards assembly for the first graders and I am so proud of Kade for not faking that he is sick and getting Perfect Attendance for the first Quarter! Last year he started a trend of not feeling very good to get out of doing something that he didn’t like doing. I am so proud of him! We love him very much and we are so glad he enjoys school!He looks so proud of himself! I was a proud mama!

By the way, you can get those same bags under your eyes by staying up until 2am! Not sure why he was acting all embarrassed because before I left he ran up and gave me a kiss and a hug!

Apparently Kamryn felt the need to put the visitor sticker badge over her mouth…It did keep her quiet though! Silly girl!

Moment of love

2011-10-27T22:37:00.001-07:00

Kamryn and Keegan have the typical brother sister relationship. They hit each other one minute and argue over whose toy belongs to them and then the next minute they are so sweet and nice to each other. Those are the moments I want to remember forever… Nice little brother pushing his big sister. As soon as I grabbed the camera to get a picture Keegan ran off to ride Bullseye. Surprisingly Kamryn didn’t put him off the rocking horse because, “Dat’s Mine”

She actually wanted a kiss….I don’t think Keegan is too sure about giving a kiss to his sister though.

She snuck a hug in though!

Boy did she want a kiss! He just wasn’t feeling it I guess!

Pumpkin Carving

2011-10-26T20:29:00.001-07:00

Friday I bought some pumpkins for us to carve. We didn’t set aside some time to carve them so before I went to work Monday I printed out a fun patter of Kade’s choice for Ryan to carve. Before all the carving the kids had to help get all the guts out since they can’t cut the designs.

Kamryn was definitely not interested in sticking her hand in that thing. I don’t blame her!

I can’t find the candle Ryan used the other night to get a picture of it all lit up. I will post a picture of all our pumpkins once they are done…we still have 2 more to carve!

Spotlight

2011-10-23T15:50:00.001-07:00

Today Kade was the spotlight in Jr. primary. He was pretty excited. He got to take 5 things to help share about him. He took a football, a Kyle Busch NASCAR, the Book of Mormon, a matchbox Go-cart (because he loves to go go carting), a picture of our Family (there was a picture of Kooper in the front of the frame but it fell out and he is such a shy kid that he didn’t want to say anything.) Then he also had to help recite the 1st Article of Faith in Primary. The speaker wasn’t working so you could barely hear him because he is so quiet. I am so proud of him. He gets so shy when he is up in front of people and I am just glad he did it! Here is my handsome boy before church.

We are so proud of you Kade and love you very much!

Up to no good!

2011-10-23T15:43:00.001-07:00

This little girl might be watching a little TOO much of the movie Tangled…. or maybe since she is going to be Rapunzel for Halloween she is taking her part too seriously? We found her in Kade’s room doing this…

One of the bad parts is that this happened in Kade’s room, he is not too thrilled with it. It is washable crayon, but it isn’t coming off very well!

Flag Football is almost over

2011-10-23T15:37:00.001-07:00

Kade has one last game left of Flag football and then we move right on to T-ball. Keeps both him and I busy! I can’t imagine what it will be like when they all want to play a different sport.

Team Huddle – Kade is in the blue shorts. Kamryn enjoyed her snow cone…it was all down her legs by the time we left!

Just so you know, the kids wear their Aggie shirts every Saturday, so thanks Grandma and Grandpa Williams for sending them, they are getting used quite a bit!

A little update to our back yard

2011-10-21T14:51:00.001-07:00

This is what Ryan has been up to the past two weekends (He has done a great job!). I must say that I did help a little! I helped carry half of these pavers from the front yard to the back…

Before we had the pavers with rock in between.What great helpers!

Now we have an extended patio…we are almost finished just need to figure out how to cut the pavers to put in the last few. Now we just need to find a good deal on some patio furniture and maybe a fire pit too? The kids love the extra room to ride there toys on!

Kiddos

2011-10-19T21:05:00.001-07:00

So a few weeks ago Ryan somehow ended up with my car key in his pocket and had gone to work. I didn’t realize it until 10 minutes before I was supposed to get Kade from school. I called a few people and by then it’s too late because they don’t let you call the school and tell them someone else is picking them up you have to have a note. So I called the school and told them what happened and that I was going to have to walk to pick him up and I would be late. I was in such a hurry I didn’t bother putting on running shoes. I had on some very flat flip flops with no support! When I got there no one told Kade why I was late or that I was on my way. He didn’t express any worry at that time until today as we drove off from his school he said, “Look, those kids moms forgot to pick them up!” So I started to ask Kade how he felt when I wasn’t able to get to him in time and no one told him. He said, “ I was a little upset.” I told him I was sorry and he said, “That's okay, Daddy shouldn’t have taken your key.” I just had parent teacher conference with his teacher and he is doing so well. His behavior is much improved and he is doing great in all his school work. He amazes me all the time when I see the new things he is learning in math and reading especially. I am proud of him. Apparently he has a crush on his teacher from Kindergarten because his first grade teacher overheard him telling someone else that he had a hot kindergarten teacher, especially when her hair was straight (she has curly hair). He is nice to everyone and likes to be friends with everyone. Also on Saturday I caught him writing a love note to a girl in his class, Olivia. He is a funny kid!

Here is my handsome boy all ready for church, just prior to spilling chocolate milk down it and me not noticing or him telling me until we were already there!

This little princess is such a silly girl. She has voices. She has her normal voice, her princess voice (a high pitched but soft voice) and her mean scary voice. I love it. She will do it on demand if she isn’t being shy. I call her Daddy the Kamryn Whisperer because he can put her to bed without the 45 minutes of screaming. He has tried to show me his magic….and I have defeated with it until today at nap time. She did awesome! He just spends a little extra time laying by her and telling her that she is going to stay in her bed and go to sleep and tuck her in. So I thought I would be good for tonight and it was going to work and I failed! So I let her cry by the door and it only lasted a couple minutes and then she decided to cry in her bed for a couple minutes and now…she is fast asleep. This was Kamryn Saturday after Kade’s flag football game. I was getting ready to put her in bed for a nap and I found her sitting next to Kade on the couch passed out. I don’t remember the last time she fell asleep when she wasn’t in her carseat or a bed.

Keegan: Is climning onto everything. This is where I found him today…apparently he also has learned how to lock doors.

Thor

Remembering

2011-10-15T05:30:00.001-07:00

Today is October 15, before Kooper passed away October 15 was just like any other day. Now I now it as Pregnancy and Infant Lost Remembrance Day.

Miss my little monkey!

We love you Kooper!

The Zoo

2011-10-13T12:53:00.001-07:00

We have season passes to the zoo so since Kade is off this week I wanted him to have a little fun. I have had to work all week so today we went to the Zoo. We weren’t there for long because it was hot and I am taking some medication that makes you very sensitive to sunlight and I really wasn’t up for a sun burn. Why couldn’t it be cool this week like it was last week? Anyhow we got to see the penguins get fed. The kids loved it. They also loved the giraffes. Being the only adult I didn’t get very many pictures…here are a few.

Visiting Kooper

2011-10-13T12:44:00.001-07:00

After sleeping Monday so i could go to work that night we loaded up the kids and went to the cemetery to visit Kooper. The kids weren’t on their best behavior. Have I not learned my lesson to make sure they have full tummies and that it isn’t dinner/lunch time when we go? Guess not!To me it looks like Kade is in the background teaching Kamryn a lesson about pinecones… What a good big brother.

The kids loved the pinwheel we took to Kooper. We got a new fall bouquet and a little scarecrow to decorate his grave with. Sad to see that he has a new neighbor. There was another Mom who got there the same time we did. I felt so sorry for her. By the looks of the spot she went to sit at, it looked like it hadn’t been very long since she lost her baby. My heart broke for her. If we didn’t have all the kids there, I might have talked to her and now looking back, I wish I did.

Backyard Fun

2011-10-13T12:27:00.001-07:00

The weather is getting nicer or it was and it is hot again this week. So last Saturday while Ryan and I were doing yard work the kids had fun playing outside.

Ice cream!

2011-10-07T22:28:00.001-07:00

Tonight after dinner I asked the kids if they wanted to have some ice cream! Of course they love it and said Yes! Then Kamryn told me she wanted “Chockate ice ceam” and when I pulled it out of the fridge she started to sing Happy Birthday. Apparently that is the only time I feed them ice cream. I on the other hand eat ice cream much more often than that but the kids are usually in bed. I think you will see why…..

Keegan ate his entire cone! Kamryn must not have liked the taste of the cone very much she was drinking out the ice cream or trying to get it out with her hands. Kade was too busy playing his DS to care…

Not everyday do you see this…..

2011-10-06T16:09:00.000-07:00

I love it when they get along what makes it even better is when they share!

Time to potty train?

2011-10-04T15:57:00.001-07:00

I have been putting off potty training Kamryn for a few reasons:

1. I pushed Kade and it did me no good. He wasn’t ready. So finally after pushing and pushing I gave up. I was very pregnant with Kooper and didn’t have the energy. I had also heard of the horror stories of people who finally got their child potty trained and then they had a baby and the child reverted back for attention. So I decided that he would do it when he wanted to because I knew that he knew what he was doing. About a week before Kooper was born I was home on bed rest laying on the couch and all of a sudden I heard the toilet flush. I hurried as fast as I could waddle into the bathroom and there Kade was proud as can be. He went potty and flushed the toilet too!

Now finally to reason number 2. Kamryn and Keegan are so close in age, I figured that the longer I wait to train Kamryn the sooner Keegan will want to and then I only have to do it once.

Well I think that idea is not going to work because I think Kamryn might be ready. Last night she ripped off her pants and her diaper before I went to work. Then apparently while I was at work she took them off again and Ryan ended up finding poop in one of her toy bins. We aren’t sure if she pooped in there or if she pulled the poop out of her diaper and put it there. Either way she didn’t like it. I guess she pointed to the potty after she did all of this.

3. I don’t know that she is really ready as far as knowing how to hold it and how to “let it go”.

So here we go through the potty adventures!

Kade’s Football Game

2011-10-01T14:16:00.001-07:00

I am glad I survived the football game today. Ryan had to work and Kade had team pictures an hour before the game. So we had to be there 1 hour 15 minutes before the game out in the 100 degree heat with little ones. It was HOT, I guess it could have been hotter! I got one pictures because the rest of the time I was chasing the kids around trying to keep them occupied. Kade did a great job as a lineman today. He can’t wait to get to play Quarterback or running back. He wants to get to hold the ball!

He wasn’t a happy camper this morning because yesterday his tooth fell out at school when they were doing centers and then this morning when he excitedly looked under his pillow for his dollar there wasn’t one (Whoops!) What kind of tooth fairy is running the show these days? How could they forget? Ryan told him it’s probably because it’s a weekend and maybe the tooth fairy doesn’t work on weekends. I told him the tooth fairy probably didn’t see it because it was wadded up in a sandwich bag. I told him tonight we will put it in a new Ziploc sandwich bag so the tooth fairy would be able to see it nice and clearly!

Little Aggies

2011-10-01T14:04:00.001-07:00

It’s too bad that Aggies lost last night! It was such a close game. Ryan was pretty bummed! My parents sent Aggie shirts for the kids to wear. They loved them!

Keegan and Kade had the same shirt. On that back is says “Winning team!”

Kade did not want to cooperate for pictures, as usual!

Homemade Laundry Soap

2011-10-01T13:52:00.001-07:00

Earlier this week I got together with a friend and made laundry soap. I found a couple recipes, one for liquid and one for powder. I was thinking of doing the liquid one because it is the “Duggar” formula and I am sure they wash a lot of clothes especially dirty ones with all those little boys they have! But as I read through them the powder one seemed much easer to do and to store. So I went with the powder one. Here are the recipes:

Powder

Liquid

I spend $20 and it is supposed to last about 9 months! I am almost done with my Tide and as soon as I am I am going to start using the home-made soap.

I went to Goodwill and bought a glass container to keep some of the soap in and then I left the remaining in the 5 gallon bucket. I can just refill as needed. Also the little scoop that comes in the oxy-clean, if you fill it to the top it is exactly 2tablespoons. Perfect measurement!

I have heard that the shredded soap dissolves fast and you don’t have to worry about it, also I used the smallest grater I had and it wasn’t that much work. It was quicker to do than I thought it would be!

Go to sleep….PLEASE!

2011-09-29T20:50:00.001-07:00

I am so very frustrated right now. I am going on 40 minutes of listening to Kamryn cry and scream for me from the crack of her door which then echoes down the tile hallway making it 10 time louder and waking Keegan up and keeping Kade from being able to fall asleep. I feel horrible, I want to walk in there and hold her in my arms until she falls asleep but she doesn’t. She never falls asleep! EVER! She used to be such a GREAT sleeper. She would go to bed at 8 wake up at 8 or later. Never had any problems with her. Our only problem is that she would only sleep in her bed or in the car seat when we were driving. Well during out trip to Utah and Montana this summer she refused to go to bed. She figured out how to crawl out of the pack n play and would come out of the room. (she just stopped crying and it has been exactly 45 minutes since this all started.) We would put her back and it would continue on and on. She would finally cry herself to sleep. I know that she was not comfortable where she was at but we had done this at my parents house before. We went to Montana and she had never been there before and she had to sleep in the same room as us in the pack n play but she would climb out. I hated leaving her in a strange room in a strange house so maybe this is where I went wrong but I laid by her hoping she would fall asleep. After 3 hours of hitting, kicking and screaming to come out I finally broke down and we went on a drive and she fell asleep and we transitioned her into her bed. We had to do this every night in Montana or we would have been all night. She did better in Utah as she got used to it. Then we get back to AZ and ever since not one single day has she gone down without screaming and crying at the door. In the beginning I felt bad for her because as a kid had a fear of the dark and so I empathized a little. I tried letting her sleep with the door open. She has a nightlight. I tried letting her share the room with Kade and I tried Kade letting her sleep in his room but he would end up fast asleep and it would be 10:00 at night and she would be playing or climbing over Kade. If I left her door open she would sneak right out and lay on the couch and slowly sneak up on us. I tried laying by her to comfort her. But she just doesn’t sleep if anyone is around her even in the pitch black. So after a few weeks of playing around with making her comfortable I reverted back to what we had to do in Utah and how we originally got her to sleep through the night and self sooth in the first place, the Cry it out method. Which I have used with Kade, Kamryn and Keegan and it has worked well, until I try it on a 2 year old. Usually it takes a week or 2 at the most for there to be no crying but I am now going on 1 and a 1/2 months of her crying at her door. I don’t like it at all. It drives me bonkers! I feel so bad for her but I know that if I go in there that she will know that crying gives her attention. We have a routine and we stick to it every night.

There are so many good things about not co-sleeping with your kids. You get your own space, they aren’t still 4 and climbing into your bed in the middle of the night. Kade slept in our bed a lot and luckily shortly before Kamryn was born that changed and he was no longer allowed to come get in our bed. That kid would fall asleep almost anywhere. Sometimes I wish Kamryn was like that. If I wouldn’t have to put up with the screaming every night I would lay by her for 10 minutes (if it worked). I would let her fall asleep in my bed or on the couch and move her to her bed once she was asleep but she DOESN’T sleep anywhere unfamiliar. I can’t remember the last time she fell asleep in my arms. She was that little. I can’t remember her ever falling asleep without being strapped in something or in a pack n play or bed. She isn’t quite old enough to understand bribery or the reward of sleeping in her bed. At least I don’t think she does anyway.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to feel like a horrible mom but she needs her rest and this is the only way to do it, let her cry for 45 minutes until she realizes that no one is coming to get her. But how many days does it take to realize that we aren’t coming??? Does it take more days as they get older?

Sorry for the rambling I am just annoyed and wish I knew how to “fix” it but all I can do is try my best. I pray every night that she is comforted and that she will be able to fall asleep without screaming. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned and I have not yet come to learn it so God keeps it up until it gets through to me? I don’t know.

Thank goodness she is asleep!

Splash pad fun!

2011-09-28T20:41:00.001-07:00

Today we went to play group. I haven’t gotten to go much because I used to work every Wednesday. The kids loved going to the splash pad. Kamryn didn’t want to run through at first and eventually had a blast! I didn’t bring my camera and the pictures didn’t really turn out of them running around but here they are after, ready to go home and have some lunch.

Kade has been doing so great in school. We have a deal that if he gets green lights the entire week that we will get to go on a date! He has all greens so far and he keeps reminding me only two more! Hopefully he makes it!

More blogging

2011-09-21T22:02:00.001-07:00

So I have been told by my sweet husband that I need to blog more. He has already told me this but he has now told me that my followers are asking if I’m okay and why the heck have I stopped blogging. I guess I feel like there isn’t anything interesting to blog about. He pointed out that our life isn’t any more interesting or exciting as it was a year ago when I was blogging everyday, which is true. I did point out that I have posted recently….and he noticed but that’s recently.

I think I am having a hard time putting my true thoughts and feelings out there. Afraid of what people might think….who me, care what others think? I have also had some changes in my job which has required me to possibly have to find a new one and it has caused much stress in my life and I guess I am afraid if a potential employer googles my name and sees a post that sounds like I am NUTS then they definitely won’t hire me! Haha! Luckily I am getting the hours I need for our family to survive but not doing what I want to be doing.

I will try to be better. I have been HORRIBLE at taking pictures of my kids lately. Is there a reason? No, I just haven’t. I am mad that I have almost reached my limit on photo uploads through Picasa and I don’t know how to fix it. I think that was one of the biggest discouragers of blogging. I also got sick of seeing/reading blog posts about how perfect, wonderful, and blissful life is. Don’t get me wrong I like to see the wonderful things about life, but I like to see that I am normal and not alone when it comes to the imperfectness of life. It makes me feel like not such a bad mom after all :). I could go on and on on that subject, trust me. I have 2 blog posts that I started and then deleted because I didn’t want to offend anyone but was so bothered by it.

I don’t remember if I posted this on here but a couple weeks ago little miss Kamryn put a piece of corn up her nose and days later sneezed it out during dinner. Well tonight during dinner she was trying to put more corn up her nose and I stopped her. Well as I was changing her diaper she was rubbing her nose like something was bothering her and a piece of corn started to come out but before I could get to it she snuffed it back in. I tried many different things to get it out…one of them may have worked because I swear I saw it come out but I don’t know where it went. Which leaves me wondering if she snuffed it back in again. Luckily tomorrow is Keegan’s 15 month check up and I hope the doctor will be kind enough to look up Kamryn’s nose with her cool little light and see if she sees any corn! Speaking of the little cutie I like to point to pictures of our family on the wall and she says their name. Well when I get to her I usually don’t understand what she says and figures she just has a hard time saying her name. Well today I understood. She was saying, “That’s you!” Because that’s what I always say to her. We are working on saying her name or saying, “That’s me!”

Here are some pictures from our day….

Kade playing play dough. Kamryn was refusing to smile for the camera. Silly girl! Maybe she is just embarrassed that her lunch is all over her shirt?Touchdown!

Cook, Who me? Couldn’t be!

2011-09-20T22:28:00.001-07:00

Those that know me well know I don’t like to cook very often. I love to bake but not cook. When I do cook is is always the same stuff. I would say I try something new maybe once or twice a year, not even exaggerating, ask my poor husband! I could name the last 4 things I tried cooking for the first time and the first of the 4th was done when Kamryn was about 4 months old. Pinterest has popped the bubble because in the last couple days I have baked something new and cooked something new. Monday I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Brownies, they were sooooooo good. I forgot to add the coco, but they were still good. So if you happen to not have coco and want to make them you can and they will still turn out. Also I recommend using a glass pan if you have it because they seemed to turn out better than the ones I baked in a non stick baking pan. They are super easy, Ryan was asking me today if I wanted him to go buy some more pumpkin so I could make some more.

Tonight I made Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets and they were delish! Kade even said they were way better than Chick-fil-a and they were SUPER easy. My biggest problem with recipes is that they call for things I don’t normally buy so I have to make “special” trips to the store and then if I don’t feel like trying the new recipe I am stuck with the ingredients and usually they end up going bad. But this recipe only calls for the day to day things that everybody should have in their cupboard.

Next on the list to try are Cheesy Ranch Potato Bake and Crock pot orange chicken.

Thank you pinterest for inspiring me to cook new things!

Flag Football

2011-09-17T18:00:00.001-07:00

This was Kade’s second flag football game. He did great and the kids had a fun time cheering him on!

Our Crazy Kids!

2011-09-16T12:53:00.001-07:00

So yesterday I started a post and a while later I couldn't figure out where it went…I have not blogged in so long that I am not even sure what to blog about! I usually like to have pictures to go along with blogs because honestly that is what I usually enjoy about reading others blog posts. Unfortunately I have been HORRIBLE about taking pictures lately. Maybe if I had an iphone it would be easier?

Anyhow I have all these funny little things about my kids floating around in my head that I don’t want to forget.

Kade: He just started flag football and had his first game last Saturday. He was so nervous he faked having a sprained ankle. He got over it fast and was out on the field in no time. Kade is such a helper when he wants to be and is always asking for another sibling. Maybe he has the same problem I do. I just feel like we are missing someone, Kooper. I don’t think I will ever feel complete, even if I had 4 more kids…Kade is doing good in his school work but he is not coming home with green lights. I am not happy about it so I asked his teacher why he is having such a hard time. Apparently Kade likes to entertain the class with arm farts and who knows what else. Once he is moved to the front he can focus and actually get work done! So hopefully he starts doing better. Kade is always so concerned about others and is so caring.

Kamryn: She is the little diva of the house. She has a silly personality only you wouldn’t know if you were a stranger because she is so shy! Much shyer than I think I ever was. She loves to dance and last Saturday we had corn with dinner. Well on Tuesday during dinner she sneezed out a piece of corn…so she sure does know how to store food just maybe in the wrong places! She is learning things so fast and Kade has almost mastered teaching her the arm fart. Great! She is having a hard time going down for naps and bedtime. She screams in her room and kicks the door and I just have to ignore it. Today after she stopped crying I went in to check on her and luckily I didn’t open the door. I noticed something sticking out from under the door….it was one of her pig tails. She was fast asleep on the floor next to the door. I just wish she would lay down and shut her eyes like she does for the babysitter!

Keegan: Keegan is the happiest boy on earth. The other day we were at McDonalds and he was over playing with the kids. I could see where he was at but not what was going on. Apparently someone bit him and he didn’t even make a sound. He is a tough little guy. I guess you have to be when you have an older brother and sister that wrestle with ya! I noticed last night that Keegan kind of looks like Dopey from Snow White and the seven dwarfs. It’s that big smile of his! He is such a sweetheart and I couldn’t imagine our family without him. He has recently started to say new words. I was a little worried because he has only said 3 words for the longest time and now he is finally repeating words. He is very observant little guy though. I love to just watch him.

The kids are crazy and fun and we love the joy they bring to our lives even though there are times where we wish we could just go hide in the closet….I think that is why god made bedtime! So the parents could recoup and prepare for another crazy day with the kids!

High heels and taking notes!

2011-09-01T09:53:00.001-07:00

The kids can get pretty board while Kade is gone to school…

If you are wondering why my kids have not pants on, it’s because I am constantly changing diapers and I get sick of putting on and off pants…oh yeah and it’s REALLY hot here….so it’s just another way to stay cool! Right? Or maybe just laziness??? Don’t worry they eventually get their pants back on…it just might take an hour…or two!

Fun at the Phoenix Children’s Museum

2011-08-21T08:19:00.001-07:00

It was a crazy busy day at the Phoenix Children’s Museum and we all survived! The kids had a blast and Kade didn’t want to leave. Kade taking his girl for a ride!

Playing weights and measures with the beans…

The tooth fairy

2011-08-18T17:04:00.001-07:00

Kade lost his first tooth yesterday. It has been loose for a while and on Tuesday it was barely attached to his gum. Here is a pic of what it looked like then. I just realized that his face was a MESS when i took this. Oh well!

During lunch yesterday he said he pulled it out, must have had some friends rooting him on because I have been trying to get him to pull it out for a while. (I was the kid that as soon as the tooth was just a little loose I would have it out later that day.)

He kept telling us that the tooth fairy was going to bring him $100! Not the tooth fairy that comes to our house. So this morning when he woke up sure enough he had $1 under his pillow. I am pretty sure in the next week or so the tooth fairy will be coming again. The other bottom front tooth is just about ready to come out!

Shake it!

2011-08-13T15:20:00.001-07:00

This is as close as I will ever get to dancing in the clubs! Keegan loves to move those hips. Cracks me up every time!

Back to school!

2011-08-09T10:16:00.001-07:00

Summer flew by too fast. I was surprisingly one of those that was school shopping at the last minute. For some reason I kept putting it off and putting it off. It’s hard to believe I have a first grader! He is excited to start school and Kamryn doesn’t know what to do without him, she is driving me bonkers! Today when we dropped him off she cried. I guess she is going to have to play with Keegan. I was kind of glad Ryan took him to school on the first day because I knew I would get all emotional and start crying because he is growing up!

Here is Kade on his first day with his friend Shane.

Random pictures from our trip

2011-08-04T13:00:00.001-07:00

We did a bunch of other things but I only really posted things I actually took pictures of. Too lazy to write it all out. Kade got to have some much needed playtime outdoors for a change. It’s too hot in AZ to play outside for more than 5 minutes at a time. He got to go to the local pool twice and had a blast swimming. I am glad he has finally gotten used to the water!

Here are a few other random pics I wanted to post…

Keegan was loving the Playschool Dollhouse people and driving them in the car. He loved all the dogs too at all the grandparents house…oh yeah and the cats at Grandma Anita’s too!

He loves to sweep and mop…So if anyone needs a helper let me know! I will let you barrow him for a day! He is really cute and gives out hugs for free and likes to be paid in food!

Kamryn hanging out with Ashee (Ashley).

I wish I would have taken more pictures…Oh well! It was so much fun to visit. We got to see my grandparents too and Ryan was able to hang out with a few friends and golfed A TON! Wish we were still there in the cool weather. My computer says it’s 101 degrees right now but I am pretty sure it’s a lie. I was just outside and it HAS to be hotter than that!

Boondocks

2011-08-04T12:50:00.001-07:00

We headed down to Kaysville to go to Boondocks one day. It was a lot of fun especially for Kade and Daion! They got to ride go-carts and actually drive them. They didn’t want to stop! The next day they asked if they could go back again. By the way there is much more to do there than ride go-carts…but that is what we did most of the time! Kade would put both his hands in the air making a peace sign when he would go on the straight-aways and yell, “Whoo-hoo!”

Bear Lake

2011-08-04T12:43:00.001-07:00

We rented jet skis and headed over to Bear Lake. It was lots of fun. There wasn’t much room to play in the sand because the lake was so full but Kade was in the water most of the time anyways. Kamryn wasn’t a fan of the jet ski or the water…

Maleaha’s Baby Blessing

2011-08-04T12:34:00.001-07:00

While we were up in Utah we were able to be at Maleaha’s baby blessing! She is sooo cute and I am glad we were able to be there for it. She has got the cutest little chubby cheeks and always had a smile for me! Wish we were in Utah so we could get the kids together more often.

Pioneer Day

2011-08-04T12:31:00.001-07:00

I love to be in Utah over the 24th of July to celebrate Pioneer Day. They always have lots of fun activities and fireworks.

When I went to wake Kamryn up in the morning this is what I saw…

Camping with the Perry’s

2011-08-04T12:23:00.001-07:00

Once we got back to Utah we did family pictures with my family Friday night and then after that Ryan took Kade up to the Porcupine Dam camping area that his Dad and Step-mom were camping at to stay the night. The next day Ryan came back to pick up me and the little ones to go back up to the campsite.

Here is Kade not wanting to take the helmet off and trying to drink with it on…not a good idea! He loved getting 4-wheeler rides from Grandpa Ron and Daddy.

The bottom left picture is of Kamryn being Rappunzel with flowers in her hair. She kept saying,” Ruppunzel, let down your hair!” We had a lot of fun hanging out with Ryan’s Dad’s side of the family and eating some delicious food! Maybe in a couple years Kamryn and Keegan will actually be brave enough to actually camp…or maybe I should say I will be brave enough to camp with them?

Day 4 (last day in MT)

2011-08-02T14:41:00.001-07:00

I don’t have very many pictures of our last day in MT. I forgot to get them off Ryan’s Mom’s camera. Here are a few of Kamryn in her new boots and on our drive back to Utah.

(Updated with a few more pictures!)

Thanks for letting us come visit! Love you all!

Montana Day 3

2011-08-02T14:35:00.001-07:00

Ryan and his Mom went golfing in the morning and then we got Kade a haircut and went to Missoula to go swimming. Kade swims great with floaties! Keegan LOVES the water and just tries to swim out of our arms!

Kamryn on the other hand would rather sit poolside and relax!

Montana Day 2

2011-08-02T14:27:00.001-07:00

While Ryan and his step dad Jeff went golfing we went with Ryan’s Mom over to her parents house to visit Great Grandma!

Then it was off to a fun new park that the kids loved.

Then later that day we went to feed the ducks and fish at a pond.

When the kids got home they wanted to cool off!

Montana Day 1

2011-07-29T22:14:00.001-07:00

We made the long 18 hour drive to Montana to visit some of Ryan’s family. It was good to see everyone and to spend some time with Ryan’s Mom. When we got there Ryan’s Mom had planned to have some family over for a BBQ.

Kade and Ryan’s aunt Deb made shishcabobs.

Uncle Eric and his cousin Drew cooked them up for us.

Keegan was in heaven because there were lots of balls to throw since Ryan’s parents have a lab.

Keegan chillin’ in the swing with Tim (one of Grandma Anita’s family friend)

Having a YUMMY desert. I will have to tell you all about it when I make it myself. It was soooo good!

My kids just love watermelon. We caught Kamryn sneaking into the watermelon bowl!

Keegan sitting with Grandpa Jeff

Ended the day playing puzzles.

Kooper’s 3rd Angel Birthday - July 11

2011-07-29T22:06:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby boy! I love and miss him so much. To celebrate him and his birth we had some friends over for brownies and ice cream on Sunday since on his actual birthday I had to work and it would be hard to have friends over on Monday. Before we had ice cream we sat down and watched a video that my friend Jenna and I put together for his first birthday. Kamryn watched so intently it was so cute!

On Monday when I got home from work Ryan had picked up some balloons and we each wrote a message on them and then went to the cemetery and had a little balloon release. I forgot the new pinwheel I bought to put over there so we will have to go again soon.

Message from Dad

Message from Kade

Message from Mom

On our way to the cemetery

we let the kids keep the blue and orange balloons to play with as part of Kooper’s birthday and released 3 white balloons in honor of his 3rd birthday.

Reaching for the balloons

We love you Kooper! XOXOXO!

Our 4th of July!

2011-07-08T21:25:00.001-07:00

Kamryn didn’t want to swim….just lay out in the sun!

Keegan on the other hand was trying to swim out of my arms.

Kade decided to be brave and get over all his fears of the water. He started out with his tube and ended up with the arm floaters swimming around.

The cute little Sadie! And of course the birthday girl, SaraJane!

Telling

2011-07-07T22:07:00.001-07:00

I am really struggling lately with telling others about Kooper. I want to and I love to talk about him. Lately I feel like when I tell people, especially when it comes up after the question of how many kids do you have? I feel like they think I am crazy for telling them that I have 4, but one of them passed away. Then when they ask how or why they passed away and I tell them that they weren’t yet born (but I do explain other parts) I feel that they think that they don’t count it as a child. That they think of it as a miscarriage like I never bonded with the baby. Maybe I am reading into it too much and they aren’t thinking that but their comment usually ends in, So you have 3 kids then?

As time is moving on and I can tell others about Kooper without the waterworks coming on and it not being as fresh it seems as if they think that it doesn’t hurt anymore or that I don’t ache for him daily. I am starting to feel very much like I did after I lost Kooper. I shut out co-workers and friends fearing that they would judge my loss as a miscarriage (not that miscarriages aren’t a painful thing to go through) and that no one understood that I lost a child. Not that those people did treat it that way, it was totally the opposite. They helped me and were there for me along the way. But now when I tell others I feel like they are looking at me like I am crazy and wonder why I consider an unborn baby my child? It hurts so bad that it drags me back into this hole of feeling alone and disconnected, like no one understands.Maybe it’s all in my head? Maybe I am just sad and missing my baby?

Oh how I miss him!

Independence Day!

2011-07-06T18:20:00.001-07:00

Kamryn had a little nap with a few of her stuffed animals before the big party!

Then we were off to our friends for a birthday and 4th of July celebration!

The diva wouldn’t take off her sunglasses…

More pictures of the kids in the pool to come. I was a slacker and didn’t take any pictures so I have to wait for Jenna to send me some or post them on her blog so i can steal them!

Anger

2011-07-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

As the 3 year mark is fast approaching I think, has it really been three years? It seems like yesterday and then at times it feels like it’s been so long that I feel like my memory is failing me. My memory of things have faded. I think I was in a state of shock for quite a while and some numbness too so I don’t remember a lot of things that I wish I could. I wish I could go back and replay everything so I feel more in touch with Kooper. Not that I want to go back to that pain, because reliving it would bring back a lot of pain and heartache that I have learned to over come and deal with. Not that I don’t have pain and heartache today but that it has lessened over the last three years and I have learned to cope and live with the loss of him.
I came across these picture of his room today as I was looking for a specific picture and a feeling of anger came over me. Not angry at anyone in particular but it brought back my emotions of how excited I was and quickly the excitement was anger that it was all taken away. I spent hours sitting in that rocking chair dreaming of what Kooper was going to look like. Dreaming of nursing him in the chair and rocking him to sleep. Dreaming of my two little boys growing and playing together in this fun room that I loved planning for him. I loved everything about it. I would stare at the walls and every feature of that room while I watched him roll around and move in my belly. I would just look at each item and couldn’t wait to use them for my little boy that should be here any day. Staring at the car seat with the diaper bag all packed and ready next to it. ~~Knowing~~ Thinking that any day now Kooper would be laying on the changing table staring up at me as I slathered him up with lotion and dressed him in one of the many cute boy outfits that filled the drawers. This picture was taken after he passed away. I forgot to take a picture of the room after the letters of his name were hung up over his bed. Two days before three days before he was born. I loved the monkey toy that I bought to hang from the carseat. I loved the softness of his changing table pad cover and his boppy cover. So soft.
I get angry that I didn’t get to use this and get to enjoy them the way I wanted too. That I was so prepared and so ready to have this new baby boy come into our home but in a blink of an eye it was all taken away. I avoided his room but not for very long. It became my favorite place. It was a place for me to mourn and to think about him. A place for me to ponder and to thing through my feelings. I miss it. I am not angry anymore. The feeling comes and leaves quickly. I know that it happened for a reason. The reason I will probably never know until I meet my maker. I just have to remember the good times that I spent with Kooper. Remember the laughs he gave Ryan and I. The smiles he gave to Kade as he kicked his hand through my belly. He will always be apart of us and never forgotten. Always loved and always remembered. He is my son, my baby and my inspiration to do good.

Baby Blessing

2011-07-03T22:57:00.001-07:00

Today we went to our friends ward to be there for their daughter Sadie’s baby blessing. It is always nice to get together with friends and we were so glad we were able to attend her blessing. The last time I was in that church was at SaraJane’s baby blessing. It was a little weird. It brought back a few memories. My friends Jenna and Nickey even reminded me that on SaraJane’s blessing day I told them I had a dream I was pregnant with a girl and that they had also had similar dreams. Come to find out I was pregnant with Kamryn but didn’t find out till later that month.

Here I am with the the cute little Sadie! I just love her!

This is what we do when it’s 113 degrees outside!

2011-06-26T19:29:00.001-07:00

Consumed

2011-06-25T13:31:00.001-07:00

Lately I feel like I have no spare time…which is a good thing but when I do have spare time to do things that I should be doing, I do things that aren’t necessarily bad but totally waste time. like play bubble shooter on my itouch (totally addicting, especially when you play the whirl mode) I haven’t gotten past level nine yet…. or Pinterest. This one I love though because it gives me so many ideas of things I want to create and they are usually cheap. Speaking of I need to run to the craft store and buy a whole list of things. Then besides those two things and taking care of the kids I have been consumed by work. I have a new job with the same company and I love it! So far things are great!

Here are a few projects on my to do list:

http://aedriel.blogspot.com/2009/05/sweet-girl-deserves-sweet-wall-decor.html

So we will see how many of these I actually get done…let me know if you want an invite to Pinterest cuz it’s so fun! Just know that it’s addicting!

Jambo

2011-06-24T21:53:00.001-07:00

We met up with friends today to get the kids (especially the school aged ones) out of the house. Summer is hard because it’ so stinkin’ hot here and it’s not fun to just play outside. We met the Burningham’s and Sanderson’s at Jambo. We were sad to say good-bye to Sarah since she is moving. But we were glad to see her one more time. Here are a few pictures from the day.They look like they are playing so well together, only seconds later Kamryn pushed him down for no reason.

What a nice big brother!

Kamryn felt like such a big girl going on the ride all by herself! Keegan wasn’t sure sure what all these rides were about…

Kade loves this picture. I think it will look great on their Wedding invitation! Kade reminded me on our way there that he was going to marry SaraJane and that she is sooo cute! We had lunch after at Culver’s and SaraJane went to sit by Kade and eat her ice cream. He sat there and told her all about what happens in Wimpy Kid 2. She just listened and smiled. :)

Sarah and Jenna have iphones and are able to make cool collages with their pictures they took on their camera…so I stole their collages off their blogs…

Kamryn and Madelyn look like they could be sisters with their matching brown hair and pigtails!

More birthday pictures…

2011-06-21T14:01:00.001-07:00

So Ryan got tickets to the Diamondbacks game on Kamryn’s birthday and the seats were so great that we couldn’t pass them up. So we went to the game. (Horrible parents huh?)When we were gone the UPS package from my parents showed up so Kamryn and Keegan had to wait to open their presents until the next day.

Keegan was more interested in the balloon. Who care about presents…right? This is for you mom, you wanted one of her in her dress…she wasn’t too happy about getting her picture taken though.

Kamryn’s 2nd Birthday!

2011-06-18T22:04:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Kamryn turned 2! She is definitely in the terrible twos but I remember that I thought that the threes were worse so I am enjoying it while I can! We took Keegan’s swing back and between us and birthday money from relatives we bought Kamryn and Keegan this cool little play set to keep them busy!This is a picture of before Kamryn tried going down the stairs and ate it! She has a fat lip now…I didn’t do a very good job of getting a picture of the entire thing…maybe another day.

We had a fun little party and invited some friends over for some Tangled fun! I just couldn’t resist a Tangled themed birthday party since Kamryn and I LOVE the movie so much! We played pin the frying pan on Flynn…or Kamryn did. (It was a little crazy with all the kids!) I didn’t do a very good job of taking pictures of all the fun decorations and activities. We drew on the walls (of course they were covered in paper) and colored with sidewalk chalk on the patio and we were going to make these cute 3-D Paskels but the kids wanted to play instead and it is hard to stay organized with kids ranging from 1-3 yeard old. I guess that’s why I’m not a preschool teacher! All in all it was lots of fun. I had hanging lanterns and purple flag banners with gold suns on them. If you have seen the movie then you will see why I did all those activities.

Originally I wanted to make a tower cake but lack of time and planning landed us with this one…which Kamryn got to when we had our heads turned. She just wanted to get Rapunzel off! She enjoyed everyone singing to her. A week and a half earlier she learned the Happy Birthday song when we sang to Keegan and she has been singing it almost every day since. She was happy to hear everyone singing it to her! So proud of herself for blowing out the candle!

Some of the friends that came to celebrate and of course have some cake and ice cream! I put a sheet down for the kids to eat their cake on for easier cleanup…Keegan thought it meant it was time for a nap!

Soiled little girl got lots of fun presents to keep her busy! Thanks to all the friends for coming and for their sweet gifts.

After all the party friends left it was time for lunch. Kamryn was soo tired. She at her whole lunch and never let go of that balloon. Of course when I took the picture I cut of the balloon…whoops!

We were so happy to have everyone come. It’s fun to get together to celebrate! We don’t have much family here in AZ so it’s fun to celebrate special days with friends! Thanks again everyone!

More pictures of the kids

2011-06-14T19:39:00.001-07:00

Here are a few more of my favorites besides the ones that have already been posted on here.

Want some mama??? Bad Mama made the mistake of being too far from the bench and poor little guy got a boo boo!

But ice cream and love from mama makes boo boos all better! His poor nose has a scab on it from the top layer of skin being scratched off….hopefully it' doesn’t scar!

Pictures

2011-06-11T13:12:00.001-07:00

The kids got their pictures taken yesterday. I must say it is pretty crazy trying to get two one year olds to cooperate for a group picture… (I just had to say it because Kamryn will only be 1 for less than a week and then I will have a one year old and a two year old.) Crazy to think that I would have a 2 year old and 2- one year olds. Then when Kamryn turned 2, I would have 2 – 2 year olds and 1-1 year old for almost a month. Then they would be 3, 2, 1. Man pictures would have been even crazier! Lucky me I wasn’t the one behind the camera! Thanks Teri for putting up with the craziness!

Check out her blog for a few of the pictures from yesterday. I can’t wait to see more!

Here are a few I found on her Facebook page.

Keegan’s Birthday

2011-06-08T21:50:00.001-07:00

Kade and Keegan….I tried to get the princess in but she was being a typical drama queen!

Traditional 1st birthday dinner…pizza!

He was more interested in going outside…we had to talk him into opening gifts and playing with the toys! Anytime you say, “YAY!” Keegan stops whatever he is doing and claps…this is one of those moments.

Gotta love the darn flash! I dread taking pictures because I either get blurry or closed eyes because of the DARN flash!

Kamryn and Kade love his present more than he did.

I held his hands back but let him grab the cake at the end!

This boy can EAT, and don’t mind the food on the chair, but you can even see it in his toes how yummy he thought the cake was!

No party is complete with out BALLOONS!

Happy 1st Birthday Keegan!

2011-06-07T09:27:00.001-07:00

I can’t believe I am writing this post. I can’t believe my baby of babies is 1! This last year has flown by and I wish I could just turn back time and have my arms wrapped around a newborn. I can’t believe how much he has grown and I have enjoyed watching his personality develop into a funny smart little guy! He is always happy as long as long as he is fed. He still loves my hair. I tell Ryan that the woman he marries will probably have long hair because whenever I hold him he has his fingers tangled in it, ever since he was just a little guy! Here is how my baby has grown over the year…

One month

2 months

Three months

Four Months

Five Months

Six months

Seven Months

Eight Months

Nine Months

Ten months

Eleven Months

Happy First Birthday Keegan! We love you so much!

Pictures of his big day later!

I <3 newborns!

2011-06-06T16:19:00.001-07:00

One of my best friends Jenna just welcomed a new baby girl into their family! I was so excited to meet little miss Sadie Gray! I made them take a picture of me holding her because I have a picture of me holding her oldest, Sumner after he was born. Somehow we missed a picture of me holding Miss SaraJane in the hospital but believe me I held her! So I had to get one with miss Sadie! She is just so adorable. I was ready to take the hospital bands off and take her home with me.

I love the first two weeks of heaven. All they do is sleep eat and poop! My kind of baby. Then they start to get older and not sleep as much. For you Jenna, I hope that Sadie sleeps good just like your other two did (I’m sure she will!)

I can’t wait to come hold you again Sadie! You are just too cute!

To the ZOO!

2011-06-01T18:40:00.001-07:00

Kamryn loved those monkeys, they are hard to see in this picture but they are on the little island. She kept yelling, “monkey, monkey!”

Kade loved the peacocks!

I loved how the monkey on the right was scratching the other monkey’s back!

Memorial Day

2011-05-31T14:41:00.001-07:00

On Memorial Day I dressed up all the kids in RED, WHITE, and BLUE and we went to take Kooper some new flowers. The big mistake was taking the kids around lunch time but not feeding them first. Everyone was hungry and no one wanted their picture taken.

Running through the sprinklers

2011-05-31T14:01:00.001-07:00

The past 4 days, everyday the kids have ran through the sprinklers or jumped on the tramp with the sprinklers on underneath….I am a little scared to look at my next water bill!

My Grandma

2011-05-18T23:49:00.002-07:00

On Tuesday morning (May 17, 2001) I got news that my Grandma Alder, Sarah Ann "Aniece" Parkinson Alder had passed away. From how she had been doing I knew it was coming but was still shocked to hear the news. I love her so much and wish I would have lived closer so that in recent years I could have spent more time visiting her. Every time we went up to Utah to visit we would go visit my grandparents.
My Grandma was such a sweet lady, always getting mad when we didn’t tell her in advance that we were coming because she wished she would have made dinner for us. She helped me make a quilt for Ryan when we were dating and was always so kind and loving.
About 5 years ago I got a book for my Grandma called, Grandma tell me your memories. It was basically a journal that asked different questions that she could answer. In 2007 she had finally finished and mailed it to me. In there were wonderful stories of my Grandma. I will treasure it forever! Included in it were these pictures.
                                                                                                This was her engagement picture.

A few more pictures I found of her…
This is a picture of My grandma Alder holding me on my blessing day.
Beside her is my sister Bree and my Grandma Williams

.
Grandma with her great grand-daughter Kamryn (December 2009)
Grandma holding her Great-Grandson Keegan (December 2010).

When I lost Kooper my sweet Grandma wrote Ryan and I a letter that brought me so much comfort and I felt her love all the way from Idaho! Here is my favorite part of it.

I don’t know what I can say to you kids to comfort you and give you hope except we know that we’ll see and have that wonderful little child to get to know, care for and love again. And we also know that there are several great-great Grandmothers up there to welcome and love and care for him until you get to have him and love him again.

I know my grandma is now up there caring and loving on my little Kooper. I love and miss them both very much. I am sure the reunion she has been having with all her loved ones that have passed on is a wonderful one but we miss her dearly here on earth. She was an amazing women and such an inspiration to me. Until we meet again, I love you!

Kade’s Kindergarten Graduation

2011-05-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

On Friday Kade had a kindergarten program/graduation. They sang songs and there was a slideshow video at the end with pictures from the school year. As they sang the first song I had to hold back the tears and try not to cry. I am such a baby! I can’t believe I am going to have a first grader!

After the program they had refreshments out on the playground and the kids got to play. Kade with his best friend Shane.
Kamryn had tons of fun on the slide!

Kade and his teacher Miss Steele.

Kamryn

2011-05-15T06:17:00.000-07:00

Kamryn has been such a silly girl lately. She is growing before my eyes and sometimes I think, wow when did she learn to talk and understand so many things. She listens so well. She understands so many things that it amazes me. She is so funny. Lately if we are going outside or out into the garage she holds the door and says “C’mon yets go!” and every animal is named “CJ” she says his name so well! All she wants to watch it “Bawnie”. When she is hungry she walks over to the pantry and opens the door and says, “Whacha want?” She signs or says please without asking. Whenever she wants to go somewhere she says, Car (but sounds like she is from Boston.) She recently started to FINALLY say I love you. I have been working on it for a while now. She loves to give Eskimo kisses and real kisses. Lately she puts both of her hands on your cheeks and brings you in for a kiss! She LOVES to brush her teeth! Every night and morning she always goes into the bathroom and gets her tooth brush or she tries to steel someone else's. At night I don’t even have to remind her to brush her teeth when it’s bedtime she walks right into the bathroom and grabs her toothbrush.

When she can’t do something herself she says, “I nee help."

When she asks for something, even if you say no she say, “K” I don’t think she gets the no part because she cries again for it even after another no and responding with “K”.

She asks to go “aside” outside all the time. She runs through our hard grass (I never knew grass could be hard until I came to AZ) or the rocks without even thinking about it. There are so many funny and cute things that she says, I could go on and on all day!

I thought she would be better at sharing considering she has a younger brother who plays with all her toys and an older one that takes whatever toy she is playing with. But not so much. She hates to share. Although she is always willing to share her food and treats. I have to watch her because she just hits Keegan over the head with anything she can get her hands on…jealous a little?

She doesn’t like baseball hats, or any hat for that matter. She likes to try them on herself but doesn’t like them on anyone else. Ryan came out the other day with a hat on and she hid her face and wouldn’t come near him. Hot took his hat off and she smiled big and gave him big hug and even a kiss. I put the hat back on Ryan and when she saw him again she turned her head away and covered her eyes. So silly.

She is such a tough girl that wrestles with Kade. If she falls and skins her knee she doesn’t even cry! She is a princess dressed up in her high heels and purse one minute then wrestling with her brother the next!

When she is eating or drinking and it starts to go down the wrong pipe she pats her own back when she coughs from it and looks for concern from everyone else. She will fake cough until you ask if she is okay.

She is sleeping in her bed so well. She doesn’t get up and try and come out of her room and this morning I heard her so I opened the door and she was playing with her kitchen. Recently she started taking her clothes off. It is getting hot here. She would rather run around in a diaper than have clothes on! Oh dear!

Kooper’s Memorial Service

2011-05-14T09:14:00.001-07:00

I don’t know if I have written about if much here on the blog (I forget what I write) but after we lost Kooper I felt like I was the only person in the world who had lost a baby right before they were born. I hadn’t heard of it happening very much and I felt like no one understood me. I didn’t know what people thought of the circumstance and I felt like they were considering my loss similar to a miscarriage. Though a miscarriage has to come with pain and heartache having your baby at 38 and a half weeks die is different. I am not trying to minimize anyone else’s loss, I am just saying it’s different. Although I have never experienced a miscarriage I have talked to mother’s who have experienced both miscarriage and stillbirth and through their experiences they are different. Nobody else has really met that baby but you. You have felt their kicks and hiccups for weeks and weeks. They already have a routine if you pay attention. You have an idea of their personality and in most peoples mind once you reach 32 weeks it seems like if anything were to go wrong they would just have to stay in the NICU for a little bit. Not many even have a thought or consider that something could go wrong. I still wonder when I tell people about Kooper, especially when they are asking how many kids I have and Include him if they think of it as a miscarriage and think it’s silly that I would tell them about a child that I never raised outside of tummy. I never shared pictures of Kooper’s service (only a couple) on the blog and I decided to share it because I am ready now and I have been for a while I just never thought to do it until recently when I was looking back to older post.

Because we didn’t have any family here in Arizona none of our family was able to see our beautiful perfect little boy after he was born so we decided to have a viewing. I was a little worried as to what he would look like once he had been embalmed. I wanted the service to be just our family and very close friends. Now that I look back I wish I would have opened it to anyone that wanted to come. Ryan works for a very large company and he had so many friends and coworkers there for him and our family. I too had many coworkers and friends that were there for me but it felt strange to me that the possibility of all these people that I didn’t know watching me grieve. I think it all went back to my feeling that nobody understood.

My Mom brought this blanket for him to be buried in. It was my blessing blanket. He looked so handsome in this little blessing outfit. I was so grateful to Jenna and her Mom for finding it for me! I was so lucky to again find the same blessing outfit after we had Keegan because they stopped making it. Kade gave his monkey to Kooper. All the kids have their own monkey now. This is one of my most favorite pictures of Kade.

After the burial we went back to the church where the viewing was held and had lunch.My Mom bought this picture from above that says, “All of God’s grace in one sweet little face.” Flowers from Ryan’s Mom and the Memorial Service Program was put together by Ryan’s cousin Leigh. I loved it, she did such an amazing job!

Many may think that I am weird or it is weird that I am holding a 1 and a half week old baby at Kooper service. Yes I had a hard time around babies, but not this one, not SaraJane! It probably helped that she was a girl, I still missed my baby but SJ was like my baby too! It felt so good to be holding a baby because that is what I had waited 9 months to do, but at the same time it was heartbreaking that it wasn’t Kooper. I love her so much!

We love and miss you so much Kooper! You are on our minds daily and we always feel like someone is missing in out family. You have helped motivate me to be a better person and be the best I can be so that we can be together again.

Record

2011-05-10T00:41:00.000-07:00

I wish I could push record sometimes and remember the exact conversation I just had with someone. Especially my kids and especially my husband so I can prove him wrong and be RIGHT (can you tell I love to be right?)!

On Saturday we were on our way to the outlets that are about 45 minutes from our house and Kade asks me from the back seat. "Is Kooper going to come live with us again?" I can't exactly remember how our conversation went. This was one of those times I wish I could rewind and look back on his questions and my answers in hope that I answered them the way I would have wanted to. He asked me if Kooper would be all better and if his lips would be yellow (not sure where he got this from. One of his pictures his lips look more yellow)? I told him that one day when Jesus comes again that everybody that died is going to get their body back and their body will be all better. Kade asked me if Kooper would come home with us and I told him that Kooper would be with us again but only if we are good and choose the right. He also asked if he would be able to hold his little brother and I teared up and told him yes, you will get to hold your brother. That made him so happy. It made me so happy thinking about the day that I will get to hold him in my arms again.

I miss him so much! I still ache to hold him and ache for all the things that I am missing out on, all I can do is look at the eternal perspective and know that if I do what is right and keep the commandments that I will get to hold and raise him one day. Until then I will just have to hold my other kids and raise them to the best of my ability.

Mother’s Day!

2011-05-08T20:09:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mom’s out there! I had a great Mother’s Day! I got lots of love notes from my husband and kids. The primary sang in sacrament meeting at church but Kade wouldn’t go up and sing because he was too shy so once we got home I made him sing to me! We had a picnic at the park after church and then we went to visit Kooper at the cemetery to clean his marker and put a new little pinwheel up. I need to get him some new flowers next time! I love being a Mom it’s the greatest and hardest job in the world! I am so thankful for my own Mom and all that has sacrificed for me, I didn’t realize how much sacrifice she made until I became a Mom myself.

Keegan’s 11 months!

2011-05-07T19:59:00.000-07:00

Already? Not my baby? In a month he will be one? So last month I totally missed his 10 month update. It was my birthday and I used that excuse and then never got around to doing a post. He is growing up too fast! I don’t know if it’s because he has a sister he has just got to keep up with or if he is just a faster learner than the others. He has been walking up to 12 steps at a time, usually it’s only 4 but when he really wants something (like his Mama) he is willing to go the distance to reach it! He is so happy, one of the happiest baby’s I have ever met, until you take his toy away and he screams like a little girl. (I wonder where he learned that from?) He has two teeth on the bottom but I can see one of the top ones starting to poke through and I can feel the other top one. He loves dog food, actually he likes any food. I haven’t found something that he doesn’t like yet, let’s hope it stays that way. He has been sleeping through the night for a while now. Every once in a while we have a bad night but not too often. He takes two naps a day. He still loves my hair and loves to rub it between his fingers and try and eat it. When it’s in a pony tail he likes to grab right underneath the pony tail and rip the hair out. He likes to smack you in the face and he thinks it’s funny. I am trying to teach him that' it’s not nice but it doesn’t seem to be working. He claps whenever you say, “YAY!” He loves to bounce (dance) to music. He is a pretty good listener when you say, “No”. He loves the bath more than anything. He hears water and in no time he will be to wherever it’s coming from. He loves to give kisses and cuddle. His eyes are still blue…I am hoping they stay that way.

Happy Feet

2011-05-04T19:22:00.001-07:00

The other day Kade wanted to watch Happy Feet. This used to be his favorite movie. As we were watching it I realized that Keegan looks a lot like Happy Feet with those eyes and he always smiles with his mouth open and his tongue showing. Before we cut his hair if it wasn’t wet it was fuzzy and stick straight out. So that is his new nickname! Good thing it fits him pretty well, he is such a happy kid, smiling at everyone and he likes to dance!

Fear

2011-05-03T04:20:00.000-07:00

This is exactly why I can't sleep at night knowing that the kiddie play pool has water in it...

Maybe my over cautiosness and fear of drowning is the cause of Kade's fear of water and learning to swim but is he better off as a young kid to have a fear of water or have no fear? I don't remember much but I do remember that when I was 2 or 3 my cousin Janet who was 8 drown. I was afraid to death of the water. Swimming lessons? Forget it. My mom tried a few times. Eventually when I could "touch" the bottom of a pool while standing I would go and not be freaked out but it just took some time. I know that my fear was developed from my experience and my fear still lives on. I fear that one of my kids will drown. So empty your kiddie pools this summer because you never know, even one of the young neighbor kids might see it and want to get in...

Kade started swimming lessons yesterday and Ryan said he did well. I hope he learns more than he did last year and learns to love swimming so that we can enjoy it. As for Kamryn and Keegan they love the water, and we plan on starting swimming classes with them now so they aren't so scared and we can teach them to swim early in life to help ease my worries, althogh I don't think the worry will ever stop! I don't think I will EVER be able to have a pool in our back yeard. I don't think I would get any sleep at night, always worried that the gate didn't shut or whatever the case might be.

Happy

2011-04-28T18:56:00.001-07:00

Some days with Kade at the store are just horrible but today he was such a great helper and wanted to do everything. I love it when he likes to help!

Just before I picked him up from school today I remembered something that was very sweet and special to me from Easter Sunday. When we got in the car ready to leave church and head home Kade was so excited to tell me something. He said, “Guess what Mom, guess what!? I told my teacher about my little brother Kooper!” He was so proud and happy. I am sure they were talking about the resurrection and how one day our loves ones will be resurrected too.

Thanks Kade for making my day way better than I expected it to be! It also makes me happy when he is nice to his sister!

Oh and I can’t forget about these tulips(I think that’s what they are) that Ryan brought home Saturday night! They make me happy too!

Happy Birthday Ryan!

2011-04-26T08:38:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Ryan’s birthday and I am so horrible that I blogged about other things and not his birthday. But I wanted to keep things in order and my intention was to get to that post yesterday but I got sidetracked and it just never happened. Also what I didn’t post about earlier was the awesome weekend that Ryan and I got to spend together thanks to our friends, the Burningham’s. They offered to watch the kids overnights so we could have a night away. We played like we were kids again. Saturday we went to a water park and had such a great time. I want to go back already! Since we have been married we haven’t ever gone to one without kids so it was nice to go on slides and not have to sit in the kiddie area the entire time or worry about kids. It was just us! Unfortunately we didn’t take any pictures so that is why there is not a blog post about our weekend….

Happy Birthday Ryan. I am glad I had the day off so we could spend it together and enjoy life! I love you so much and I am so lucky that you are mine!