Sunday

Sunday seemed to be somewhat of an eventful day. Kade had his very fist talk in Primary at church. We weren't quite sure how he would act or respond. Sometimes in front of new people or alot of people he gets pretty shy, starts to mumble and not want to participate. As we hyped up how fun it was going to be to give a talk in primary he kept doing the I don't want to do it attitude.

The time came for Kade to give his talk and he did AWESOME! I was so proud of him. He didn't mumble his words...okay maybe one or two, but I am super proud of him. I was told that the entire time he had the biggest smile on his face (I was looking at his paper helping him and didn't see his face.) He talked about How the Prophet helps strengthen our Family. Good Job Kade!

Then this caused Ryan and I to get on the subject of the fact that I never put gas in the car. Do any of you have this problem like I do???

So Sunday continued on and I almost didn't make it to work (well sort of). Ryan's second cousin asked him to let her dog out Sunday night since she would be out later and unable to be home to let him out to go potty. Originally Ryan was going to drop me off at home and drive out to her house and let her dog out and come back before I had to go to work. His cousin lives 30-45 minutes away depending on traffic. As I thought about it I decided that I would go with Ryan because on the weekends we don't get to spend much time together with me working so I figured the car would give us some time to just talk and catch up on what was going on and spend some time together. We made a quick stop at home and I grabbed my scrubs in case he had to take me straight to work. I grabbed my clothes and my phone and out the door I went. As we were driving we realized that we were VERY low on gas, and yes it's all my fault! So we would have to break the Sabbath day to get gas. When we were half way there Ryan said, "The gas light is on, I completely forgot to stop and get gas." And I said, "There is a Chevron on 51st avenue." Ryan's reply, "I don't have my wallet." Just a little bit panicky I replied, "Neither do I!". So we were trying to figure out what to do, we didn't have enough gas to make it back home. So our friends parents came to mind that lived very close to where we were. I called them and asked if their parents were home and luckily they were and they gave us $5 for gas. So we get gas and then we have the dilemma we could make it home easily and then Ryan would have to drive all the way back out to his cousins with the kids in his car that doesn't really have air conditioning or we could chance it and go there let the dog out and go home. We knew it would be close but the dog needed to be let out. But I had faith that we could make it (and almost the entire way there and back I just prayed that we would be able to make it). And when we were almost to his cousins house the battery on my cell phone was very low so at that point I was even more worried that if we ran out of gas we didn't have any money or a phone to call anyone on. Based on the mileage calculation it would be VERY close! So on we went and we finally made it back home on fumes!

Needless to say I am going to try to be better to keep gas in my car so we never have to experience that again! It is probably a good thing I went because Ryan was going to take my car because his A/C is horrible! He only had his driver's license with him, no phone either, so he wouldn't have had a phone to contact me plus I can't drive a stick, which his car is. So if he wanted me to come get him that wouldn't happen! I could probably drive it but I really wouldn't want to put my kids in that kind of danger. I would probably end up stalling it and then have someone rear end me!

More tummy problems

So on Wednesday we took Kamryn to the doctor. She has been crying almost like she is in pain and eating less than normal so we wanted to see what's up. I thought maybe it was an ear infection or something like that. Her ears were good and so was her throat so they are thinking it might be reflux. So they prescribed her medication for it. The good news is that she is still gaining weight and now weighs 14 pounds 3 ounces. They also referred me to take her to a cardiologist for her heart murmur. We go in a few weeks.

I went the following day to fill the prescription and as I was walking away I walked past the Gripe water. I still hadn't tried that, but who knows if it would help. So later that night I had Ryan go to the store to get the gripe water. I have given it to her a couple times, and I don't know if this is bad to do but I only give her the prescription when she needs it. I need to call her doctor to make sure it's okay to do but she probably isn't getting much of it anyway. I am worried that if she really doesn't have reflux that giving her this unnecessary medication could make her stomach problems worse. I read a little bit about it and it changes the pH in their tummy and can make it hard for their stomach to digest things later in life. But then again she shouldn't have to be in pain and have the acid eat away at her esophagus if I have medicine to treat it.So the few times I have given it to her I have only given her half of her prescribed dose and she spits up most of it because it is nasty! I looked on the bottle and it's peppermint flavor. I am not sure if it came in any other flavors they didn't ask me. Why would you give a 3 month old peppermint flavor??? I need to call the pharmacy and ask them why or if I can change it because if she is going to need to take this then it has gotta taste different or have no taste at all. She hasn't had it at all today, just a little bit of gripe water for her and she seems to be doing well.


I looked online and the only way to test for reflux is to put s pH monitor up their nose and down their stomach for 24 hours. It isn't very common to do.

So hopefully things get better for her. Yesterday while getting some more formula and contemplated buying soy but I feel bad trying yet another new formula. But then i think what if she is able to digest it better and her tummy doesn't hurt?

Well I am off to call the pharmacist!

My memory card is full....

My 4gb memory card for my camera is finally full. There is no room for anymore pictures, if I want to take any I must delete some. The first pictures that we have on the memory card are pictures we took of Kooper's room once we finished with all the decorating. The pictures that follow are all the pictures taken of my sweet baby. Since I took those pictures I haven't deleted any. I kept telling Ryan that it is my backup in case anything were to ever happen to our computers. Now that it is full I have to delete some but I don't know if I can bring myself to remove the Kooper pictures. I guess to me it almost feels like I am erasing him and his existence. Here is the first and the last picture taken. It is sort of ironic that I just looked at the date of the first picture I took of Kooper's room. It was taken June 17, 2008, Kamryn was born exactly a year later.

I loved his room. I loved the monkeys!


This picture was taken last night. Kade loves to hold his little sister!

Okay I have fixed the memory card so it can hold more photos, and yes all the pictures of Kooper are still on there. Maybe one day I will be ready to remove them from the memory card, but not today.

Friends and Binkies

Posting these pictures are a little bittersweet for me. Last Saturday our friends Nickey and Jordan came over with their 2 boys Landon and Dylan. Dylan is 2 months younger than Kamryn. We took their pictures with them laying next to each other with their matching binkies! It was bittersweet because throughout my pregnancy with Kooper and Jenna's pregnancy with SaraJane we planned little photo shoots and matching outfits although Kooper and SaraJane would have been days apart if not born on the same day. But for Kamryn and Dylan I am posting these pictures because I am sure as they grow they will continue to play together and become friends.

Dylan was so awake during the pictures, all Kamryn wanted was to sleep and keep that binky in her mouth!!

Kamryn's 3 months old!

Today Kamryn turns 3 months old! I can't believe how fast she is growing.

Clutching her monkey!

She just downed a 7oz bottle this morning! She is wearing 3-6 month clothing and still fits in some of her 0-3. She has been wearing 3-6 month sleepers for quite a while because she is soo long! She loves to sleep on her back which is a complete change from Kade. She hates her tummy. So tummy time is not a fun part of the day for her. She gets so mad on her tummy. She scoots around with her legs and feet, if she knew how to use her hands we would be in trouble. They just hang at her sides while she scoots in circles. I took this video of her yesterday.**WARNING Turn down the volume so you don't here my baby babble!**

She is getting used to her car seat, although she isn't a fan at first she adjusts to it and usually falls asleep. She is smiling lots more now and tries out her voice every once in a while. She loves to jump and I can't wait until she can balance more so I can put her in the Jumparoo! I know she will love it! I look forward to the 4 month mark, that means I can give her baby food! She still loves to be swaddled up tight until she falls asleep and then slowly wiggle her way free from the blanket. She loves something to cuddle with, so to calm her down I will hold a blankie to her face and rock her. So far she is not a thumb sucker. She tries and tries but can't keep that thumb straight out and ends up sucking on her first. She has gotten her thumb in her mouth a few times but it doesn't last long. She loves to look at herself in the mirror. It's so funny to watch her!

She is such a blessing and a joy to be in our family. We love her so much.

Some excitiment at the Perry house!

Yesterday as I was getting ready for the day I turned on my Scentsy candle warmer and went into the bathroom to get ready. Kamryn started to fuss and cry so I hurried along, meanwhile Kade was walking around saying, "What's that smell? What's that smell?" Whenever there is a new scent good or bad he asks that. I kept saying it was the candle warmer and going along my merry way. As I walk out into our living room area I can smell burning. I run to the warmer because that is the only thing I can think of that could cause a burning smell and that wasn't it. I look around and see my tall paper lamp on and run over to it. Sure enough that is where the smell is coming from. I look down into it and there is a burp cloth on top of one of the bulbs and it is burning the burp cloth. As I reached down to pull it out a small flame is starting on the burp cloth and I was lucky that the paper shade didn't catch fire especially since Kamryn's swing was pretty close to the lamp and she was in it.

So we had some excitement yesterday morning. Kade must have turned the light on while I was getting ready.

Kade had this thing with kicking clothing into the air and sometimes it ends up on the entertainment center or in the fan, it must have fallen into the lampshade sometime before he turned the lamp on.

So Kade and I had a talk. I tried explaining that the whole house could have burned down and that Kamryn or one of us could have gotten hurt really bad. Hopefully our little talk helps and he doesn't turn into a pyromaniac. It doesn't help that he wants to be Torch (from the Fatastic Four) for Halloween!

Primary Program

On Sunday Kade was in his very first Primary Program. I am so proud of him! He did such a great job. His teacher told me after practice that he needed to speak a little louder. So Saturday night Ryan practiced it with him having him say it loud and clear and much to our surprise our little shy boy said his part perfectly!

When I first got the note about his part in the program it almost made me cry. His class had to answer the question Why did you come to earth? (or something of the sort) and Kade's answer was, "To be a big brother." The answer being so practical for him because he is the oldest child and does in fact have siblings. For me the answer wasn't just as practical but meant much more to me. Just those few simple words made me feel like Kooper wasn't forgotten. That was Kade's answer to the questions. I don't know if his teacher helped him pick his answer or not. But it meant much more because he is a a big brother to a very special spirit. Even before we had Kamryn he was proud to be a big brother. We practiced his part every night before he said his prayers and went to bed. He is a very proud big brother!

I remember last year listening to the kids talk about their eternal families and singing those favorite children's songs. I ended up crying through most of it.

This year when I went to pick up Kade from his practice they were still practicing. I sat in the foyer and listened and as I heard them sing Families are Forever the tears began to flow and I thought, "Oh man I am not going to make it through the program tomorrow" But I did! Luckily I only got a few tears in my eyes and was able to hold it together. I feel the spirit so strong especially listening to those kids sing about the church and the gospel and share their testimonies.

I am thankful for Kade's primary teacher. She just started teaching him not too long ago. I like that she knows about Kade being a big brother to Kooper. She has a special understanding because she has a little Angel Baby like me. I don't know if it ever happens but I am sure if as she teaches Kade that if something is relavent she can point out to Kade about his little brother. On Sunday I asked Kade if he had fun and if he liked his teacher. He replied with a huge smile sounding really excited said, "Yessss!"

Kade started soccer

Yesterday Kade had his first day at soccer. It is soccer skills so basically they learn all the basics for 5 weeks and then on the 6th week they split up and play against each other. This went a million times better than T-ball did. Luckily it is at a time that Ryan doesn't work, because parent involvement is a key part of teaching the kids. Plus he is a little older now and is more willing to listen and do what he is told. Here are a few pictures. They didn't turn out well with the sun going down and a baby in my arms but I got a few!

Kade stopping the soccer ball...yeah I know I didn't even get the ball in the picture!

Kade standing by his cone!

Kade and Daddy passing the soccer ball to eachother.

On the way home Ryan and I were telling Kade what a good job he had done and encouraged him for next week. I glanced into the backs seat and Kade had the biggest smile on his face and then he said nice and loud, "Thank you Daddy!" That confirmed it, he truely did have fun and I think he really enjoyed doing something fun with his Dad.

Gum and a baby

Last night I didn't realize it but Kade was playing with his gum. He knows not to play with his gum, but when he came up to me and said Mommy look it's a baby! The gum was rolled a little bit and looked like it had a head and then a swaddled body in a blanket below. I couldn't yell at him I said "Wow, It does look like a baby. His reply, "Yeah it's Kooper!"

How can you yell at your little boy for playing with gum when he molds it to be his baby brother that he misses so much?

Although after we showed Daddy his masterpiece we had a small talk about how we don't play with our gum.

Our Morning Conversation

This morning Kade walks into my room and this is how the conversation goes:

Kade: "Where's Daddy? Is he at work again?"

Me: "Yep"

Kade: "Why does he have to work all the time?"

Me: "To make money."

Kade: "Like bees???" (he thought I said honey, and yes maybe he has watched the Bee movie a few too many times.)

Me: "No, Money. When he works we get money so we can pay for our house, food, cars and toys."

Kade: "Oh, Can I play MarioKart now?"

Kamryn got her ears pierced!

Today we headed to the mall. What I really wanted to do was go to the Disney store, but it isn't open yet and I didn't find that out until we got to the mall. We walked past Claire's and that was when I decided that today would be the day we pierced Kamryn's ears. I wanted to do it young when she wouldn't remember and when she didn't really know how to use her hands and pull on the earings. So we just did it. Here are a few pictures to prove it!

It was funny because she cried more before the actually ear piercing than she did after or during.

I know my shirt looks weird, I had her in my favorite thing, the sleepy wrap!

Kade, passing the time.....

My girl with her new BLING and half a smile!

The Time Traveler's Wife

So I was so excited because Ryan and I were able to go out to Dinner and a Movie! It's been so long since I have seen a movie, besides taking Kade to Up! about 4 months ago. We went to Caraba's for dinner (could have been better but we had a really good time) then we went to The Time Traveler's Wife. Personally I really liked the movie. Ryan thought it was okay but wasn't too happy about the ending. It isn't a very happy one. I just finished reading the book about a week ago and couldn't wait to see the movie. The movie is good but the book it way better. They always are.

As I started watching the movie I realized why I liked the book and movie so much. I love it how Henry (the time traveler) says that even though he keeps going back in time and sees events over and over he can never change it. He tries and tries but the ending always comes out the same. Even though I don't believe time travel is possible, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is a path for us. This has helped me deal with the loss of my sweet baby. From the second I found out that Kooper was no longer alive I was so devastated but knew in my heart that there was a reason. God had a plan and this was his plan. I did everything I could and if he was meant to live and be with me and my family on this earth than he would be here now. I would have gone into labor. The knot in the cord would have been caught.

I had an ultrasound 10 days before he died and I think it was a gift from Heavenly Father letting me see my sweet little boy alive one last time. He knew I needed that memory to continue on and be strong in my journey through life.

Every once in a while I dwell on the what ifs? But I can't. There is no what if.
I like the movie and the book because the future is laid out before them and there is no changing it. That is how I see my life. Heavenly Father has a path and a future for me I have to live up to it but I know that events of Kooper were all apart of his plan. I wish they weren't, I wish with all my heart that I could change them and wake up tomorrow to an almost 14 month old baby boy. I wish that he was sharing a room with Kade, and Kade was teaching him the ins and outs of what boys do. I wish I could spy on them and watch Kade boss him around and try and teach him things.

I know there is a plan for me and my family. I am thankful for the Plan of Salvation. It saves me from pain and hurt every day. Without it I wouldn't have the faith that there is a plan and that Kooper is where he is supposed to be and that one day we will all be together again.

Our little Cowboy!

After we went to the Anthem outlets we headed to Bobby and Leigh's house for Pizza and to ride horses! Kade was so excited! He got to play with their dog Gus and ride Leigh's horse Bud and then he rode with Bobby on Merl. He had such a blast and didn't want to get off! He was a little timid when he first got on but within seconds he was brave as could be! He wasn't wearing the right attire but he did awesome!

The little princess loves blankies!

I love how Kamryn loves her blankie, every time she is upset and I can't seem to calm her down I put a blankie up by her cheek and she grabs ahold and calms down. I love it. such a cuddler! Here she is chillin in her car seat at the Anthem outlets while Mommy and Grandma shopped and Daddy watched Kade played in the splash pad area.

We love visitors!

On Friday night Grandma Anita and Grandpa Jeff came in from Montana. They stayed at Anita's cousin Leigh and Bobby's house. Leigh and Bobby are the only family we have here in Arizona. They all came over on Saturday to see the kids.

Kade loves Leigh. She even got down and checked out all his cool Batman toys!


Later that day Jeff, Anita, Ryan, Kade, Kamryn and I went to Applebees for lunch. For some reason Kamryn and I were the only ones that got our picture taken.

Then we ended the day with Kade showing off his bike riding skills to everyone.

Me and my Hunny!


And of course Grandma Anita had to make sure that Kamryn had some purple clothes! She is trying sooooo hard to roll from her back to her tummy!

My Smiling Girl!

Yesterday we finally got a picture of Kamryn smiling! I have been trying and trying. By the time I have a hold of the camera she stops. It reminds me of when I would have ultrasounds and she would show her cute little face and then within seconds she would bury her face away or put her arms up in front of it. She is camera shy I guess. But last night her Daddy had her smiling. I got a few pictures of it! But first I have to show off how cute she was yesterday.











I don't know why but I love the way she looks when she gets mad and screams. Don't get me wrong I only think it's cute once a day and for about 10 seconds!